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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Hundred Quotes
Funny Quotes about Hundred

Let these funny Hundred Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
- Mother Teresa

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
- Anonymous


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Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

There are a hundred valid reasons why something can't be done,
but only one reason, Commitment, why it can.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

If you are patient in one moment of anger,
you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
- Chinese Proverb

You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

If you live to be a hundred,
I want to live to be a hundred minus one day,
so I never have to live without you.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

When angry, count to ten before you speak.
If very angry, count to one hundred.
- Thomas Jefferson

If the present Congress errs in too much talking,
how can it be otherwise in a body to which the people
send one hundred and fifty lawyers,
whose trade it is to question everything,
yield nothing, and talk by the hour?
- Thomas Jefferson

If you plan for a year, plant a seed.
If for ten years, plant a tree.
If for a hundred years, teach the people.
When you sow a seed once, you will reap a single harvest.
When you teach the people, you will reap a hundred harvests.
- Kuan Chung

Almost nothing you worry about today
will matter in a hundred years.
Think carefully about what you can focus on today.
Choose tasks that will actually make a positive difference
to your great-grandchildren.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today, like every other day, we wake up empty
and frightened. Don't open the door to the study
and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.
- Rumi (Persian poet 1207-1273)

I have treated many hundreds of patients.
Among those in the second half of life -
that is to say, over 35 -
there has not been one whose problem in the last resort
was not that of finding a religious outlook on life.
- Carl Jung

Books constitute capital.
A library book lasts as long as a house, for hundreds of years.
It is not, then, an article of mere consumption
but fairly of capital, and often in the case of professional men,
setting out in life, it is their only capital.
- Thomas Jefferson

I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous

How do you want to be remembered?
Live life full out - Begin today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Hang tough... big girl panties today.
- Anonymous humor

Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Today, I Tap Dance Across The Stage of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today, I am Sending My Monkey Mind to the Zoo.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Those distractions that turn my attention from
what I thought I was going to do today are not "rat holes";
they are Enchanted Rabbit Holes
with a Magical White Bunny awaiting in each.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Find a time and place of solitude.
Look into the distance, and into the future.
Visualize the tomorrow you are going to build -
and begin to build that tomorrow, today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Yesterday is history,
tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That is why it is called Present.
- Anonymous

Dance Lightly With Life:
Today is your day to
dance lightly with life,
sing wild songs of adventure,
soar your spirit,
unfurl your joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Affirmation:
Today I choose the higher road -
the path of charity, acceptance,
love, selflessness, kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to paint life in bold colors;
set today's rhythm with your heart-drum;
walk today's march with courage;
create today as your celebration of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is the bridge between acceptance and faith.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Create Today As a Celebration of My Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Yesterday is ashes.
Tomorrow is green wood.
Only today does the fire burn brightly.
- Eskimo Proverb

Happy Birthday!
Today is YOUR day to Dance Lightly With Life.
Have a wonderful day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
- Anonymous

Today is your day to dance lightly with life,
sing wild songs of adventure,
invite rainbows and butterflies out to play,
soar your spirit, and unfurl your joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today, I Dance Lightly With Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today, I choose the higher road -
the path of charity, acceptance, love, selflessness, kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The Paradox Of Living In The Moment is -
How To Be Happy Today AND Prepare For Tomorrow
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Make Today count. Today - each Today -
is the most important day of your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Walk Today's March With Courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is a day to honor other cultures.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whatever you want in life, start today.
Not tomorrow - today.
Let it be a small beginning - a tiny beginning.
Your happiness depends on starting today - every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't Wait!
Start on your dreams, your impulses,
your longings, your special occasions today.
Because this is your moment.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Memory is deceptive because it is colored by today's events.
- Albert Einstein

Give somebody a gold star - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!
- Dr. Seuss

I was thinking that I might fly today.
Just to disprove all the things you say...
please be careful with me, I'm sensitive,
and I'd like to stay that way.
- Jewel

Dream as if you'll live forever.
Live as if you'll die today.
- James Dean

If you want to do it,
Do It - TODAY.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The importance of history is in it's
educational value for our lives today,
not in regret, resentment, or revenge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Choose wisely - then act decisively. Do it today!
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to Spread Wing and Soar.
Fly Life on Free Wings, and Sing to its Glory.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Yesterday is a canceled check;
tomorrow is a
promissory note;
today is the only cash you have;
so spend it wisely.
- Kay Lyons

Today, I Rest In The Embrace of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Begin your life today, and again tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today... maybe I can take one step
on that profoundly complex path to peace.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I recognize that the person I was in my past
is not the person I am today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Create today as your celebration of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Let today be the day that you choose
to become your own greatest Hero.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

War will exist until that distant day
when the conscientious objector
enjoys the same reputation and prestige
that the warrior does today.
- John F. Kennedy

Take time today to appreciate beauty -
natural beauty, art, people.
Slow down, breathe deeply, smile.
It's a beautiful world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is difficult to say what is impossible,
for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today
and the reality of tomorrow.
- Robert H. Goddard

Today is the first and last day of forever.
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

Today is your day to honor your being,
release each and every struggle,
gather strength from life's storms,
relax into the arms of spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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