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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Days Quotes
Funny Quotes about Days

Let these funny Days Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Some days are simply meant for playing.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous

Some days just go to Hell faster than others.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy


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Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
- Benjamin Franklin

In those days he was wiser than he is now;
he used to frequently take my advice.
- Winston Churchill

Some days you're the dog,
and some days you're the hydrant.
- Anonymous


 

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
- Winston Churchill

Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer

Weariness comes, on some days, from lack of service to self.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The power of intuitive understanding
will protect you from harm until the end of your days.
- Lao Tzu

I do not hold fear about what is happening in the world.
I am responsible for how I conduct myself in the events of my days,
and endeavor to not dwell in fear about anything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
- e. e. cummings

It is the quality of the moment,
not the number of days, or events, or of actors, that imports.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The years teach much which the days never know.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

How we spend our days is of course
how we spend our lives.
- Annie Dillard

It is of the small joys and little pleasures
that the greatest of our days are built.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

These are not dark days: these are great days -
the greatest days our country has ever lived.
- Winston Churchill

If you are patient in one moment of anger,
you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
- Chinese Proverb

May a thread of comfort be woven through your difficult days.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

A day spent without the sight or sound of beauty,
the contemplation of mystery,
or the search of truth or perfection
is a poverty-stricken day; and a succession
of such days is fatal to human life.
- Lewis Mumford

These are not dark days -
these are great days.
- Winston Churchill

Life is a journey. It is not a race to test
who can finish first or who can end up with the most loot.
Rather, life is best enjoyed as a meander -
watching the view to left and right - above and below -
as the days slowly move past in dress review.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This is my wish for you:
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life.
- Anonymous

Find a job you like and you add five days to every week.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

May you live all the days of your life.
- Jonathan Swift

I find hope in the darkest of days,
and focus in the brightest.
I do not judge the universe.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

I think that people want peace so much
that one of these days government had better
get out of their way and let them have it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

O Day of days when we can read!
The reader and the book, either without the other is naught.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I like to believe that people in the long run
are going to do more to promote peace than our governments.
Indeed, I think that people want peace so much
that one of these days, governments had better
get out of the way and let them have it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Why live?
Adding one to my count of days, or postponing
a feared death by another day do not inspire me.
I live to experience something new each day -
to learn something new, meet a new friend,
bring joy into someone's life,
feel the wind newly on my skin,
touch a new fear, a new anger,
and with focused intent and good fortune,
find an ample measure of my own joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

May love and laughter light your days,
and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours,
wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world
with joy that long endures.
May all life's passing seasons
bring the best to you and yours.
- Irish Blessing

Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks.
Perhaps this person will never
be disappointed or disillusioned;
perhaps she won't suffer the way
people do when they have a dream to follow.
But when the person looks back -
and at some point everyone look back -
she will hear her heart, saying,
"What have you done with the miracles
that God planted in your days?
What have you done with the talents
God bestowed on you?"
- Paulo Coelho

Tonight, late, when I'm still not done with the day
but must comply with sleep,
I can whisper, "There was done a little good today.
Today I changed myself and the world, just a little.
And yes, I loved." Most days, that is enough.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

A sloth lives a pretty good life, s-l-o-w-l-y.
Maybe we have something to learn from him.
Some days, being sloth-like may be just what you need
to avoid being consumed by urgency.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I would rather be ashes than dust!
I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze
than it should be stifled by dry rot.
I would rather be a superb meteor,
every atom of me in magnificent glow,
than a sleepy and permanent planet.
The proper function of man is to live, not to exist.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time.
- Jack London

In your days - things like this happen to you...
You get a tap, a nudge, a gentle shake,
and life whispers to you, "I know you're tired -
but I don't want you to miss this."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

When we hate our enemies, we are
giving them power over us:
power over our sleep, our appetites,
our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.
Our enemies would dance with joy if only
they knew how they were worrying us,
lacerating us, and getting even with us!
Our hate is not hurting them at all,
but our hate is turning our own days
and nights into a hellish turmoil.
- Dale Carnegie

Your worst days are never so bad
that you are beyond the reach of God's grace.
And your best days are never so good
that you are beyond the need of God's grace.
- Anonymous

If a man walks in the woods for love of them half of each day,
he is in danger of being regarded as a loafer.
But if he spends his days as a speculator,
shearing off those woods and making the earth bald before her time,
he is deemed an industrious and enterprising citizen.
- Henry David Thoreau

Old friends pass away, new friends appear.
It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives.
The important thing is to make it meaningful:
a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Life repeats itself mindlessly -
unless you become mindful, it will go on repeating like a wheel.
That's why Buddhists call it the wheel of life and death,
the wheel of time.
It moves like a wheel: birth is followed by death,
death is followed by birth;
love is followed by hate, hate is followed by love;
success is followed by failure,
failure is followed by success. Just see!
If you can watch just for a few days,
you will see a pattern emerging, a wheel pattern.
One day, a fine morning, you are feeling so good and so happy,
and another day you are so dull,
so dead that you start thinking of committing suicide.
And just the other day you were so full of life,
so blissful that you were feeling thankful to God,
that you were in a mood of deep gratefulness,
and today there is great complaint
and you don't see the point why one should go on living...
And it goes on and on, but you don't see the pattern.
Once you see the pattern, you can get out of it.
- Osho

Well, I don't know what will happen now.
We've got some difficult days ahead.
But it doesn't matter with me now.
Because I've been to the mountaintop.
And I don't mind. Like any man,
I would like to live a long life.
Longevity has its place.
But I'm not concerned about that now.
I just want to do God's will.
And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain.
And I've looked over.
And I've seen the promised land.
I may not get there with you.
But I want you to know tonight, that we,
as a people, will get to the promised land.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

On His Blindness:
When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one Talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest He returning chide,
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts. Who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly: thousands at his bidding speed,
And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
They also serve who only stand and wait.
- John Milton (1608-1674)

Go ahead, make my day.
- the movie Sudden Impact (1983)

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

I wish you a tea and jammies kind of day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

May You Dance Lightly With Life, and Have a Whimsical Day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill

What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never put off till tomorrow
what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain

I wish you a magical white rabbit kind of day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I'm saving that rocker for the day
when I feel as old as I really am.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Lighten up, have a rainbows and butterflies kind of day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This is your day to Laugh at Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day, saying,
"I will try again tomorrow."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I wish you a rainbows and butterflies kind of day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I

Most people's historical perspective
begins with the day of their birth.
- Rush Limbaugh

Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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