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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Live Quotes
Funny Quotes about Live

Let these funny Live Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

California is a fine place to live -
if you happen to be an orange.
- Fred Allen

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
- Bob Hope

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
- Steven Wright


 

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

I intend to live forever.
So far, so good.
- Steven Wright

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck


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Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken

I intend to live forever, or die trying.
- Groucho Marx

Lord, where we are wrong,
make us willing to change;
where we are right,
make us easy to live with.
- Peter Marshall

Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Everybody is a genius.
But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
- Albert Einstein

How do you want to be remembered?
Live life full out - Begin today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin

That married couples can live together day after day
is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked.
- Bill Cosby

The means by which we live have outdistanced
the ends for which we live.
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We all live with the objective of being happy;
our lives are all different and yet the same.
- Anne Frank

Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The beauty does not live out there;
the beauty's in my eyes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We will not learn how to live together in peace
by killing each other's children.
- Jimmy Carter

There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein

Live a Life of Bold and Courageous Action
Inspired by Powerful Dreams.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Live boldly. Laugh Loudly. Love Truly.
Play as often as you can
Work as smart as you are able.
Share your heart as deeply as you can reach.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Live with passion.
- Anthony Robbins

Life becomes harder for us when we live for others,
but it also becomes richer and happier.
- Albert Schweitzer

You don't get to choose how you're going to die,
only how you're going to live.
- Joan Baez

We are always getting ready to live but never living.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Live as if you were to die tomorrow.
Learn as if you were to live forever.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Live life with no regrets and no resentments.
Whatever happened in the past,
forgive yourself and others. Choose love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world.
We cannot cure the world of sorrows,
but we can choose to live in joy.
- Joseph Campbell

To live a creative life
we must lose our fear of being wrong.
- Joseph Chilton Pearce

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

Happiness cannot thrive within the prison of obligation.
Live wild, life free, live as master of your own fate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be prepared for life -
to live happily and without regret,
knowing that you have done your best.
- the Boy Scout Handbook

Death is not the greatest loss in life.
The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.
- Norman Cousins

Live wild, life free, live as master of your own fate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

Live as if this is all there is.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Have a Vision, a Dream.
Believe in that Vision.
Live that Vision with every fiber of your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love bravely, live bravely, be courageous,
there's really nothing to lose.
- Jewel

The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.
Live the life you have imagined.
- Henry David Thoreau

How could youths better learn to live
than by at once trying the experiment of living?
- Henry David Thoreau

Born to be wild - live to outgrow it.
- Lao Tzu

Live boldly.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck.
If you live through it, you start looking
very carefully to the right and to the left.
- Jean Kerr

Dream up the world you want to live in. Dream out loud.
- Bono

Make a conscious choice to live
a serene and stress-free life.
Stress is always waiting just outside your door
like a vicious wild-dog.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a dangerous - ultimately fatal - endeavor,
so you may as well live it full out.
Chart your course, cast off the lines,
and boldly sail the seas of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We live in a wonderful world that is
full of beauty, charm and adventure.
There is no end to the adventures that we can have
if only we seek them with our eyes open.
- Jawaharlal Nehru

For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains,
but to live in a way that respects
and enhances the freedom of others.
- Nelson Mandela

Be curious; be adventurous; live life full-out.
Accept the challenge, and reach for the brass ring.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Live your life, do your work, then take your hat.
- Henry David Thoreau

Life is full of beauty. Notice it.
Notice the bumble bee, the small child,
and the smiling faces.
Smell the rain, and feel the wind.
Live your life to the fullest potential,
and fight for your dreams.
- Ashley Smith

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live,
it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
- Oscar Wilde

I live in that solitude which is painful in youth,
but delicious in the years of maturity.
- Albert Einstein

Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Appreciate your friends.
Continue to learn.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Make the most of your regrets;
never smother your sorrow,
but tend and cherish it till it comes to have
a separate and integral interest.
To regret deeply is to live afresh.
- Henry David Thoreau

Live Your Dreams.
- Les Brown

Live the life you've dreamed.
- Henry David Thoreau

No culture can live if it attempts to be exclusive.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Live life to the fullest.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

Formula to live your dream:
1. Be bold. 2. Begin now, 3. No exceptions.
- William James

Don't part with your illusions.
When they are gone you may still exist,
but you have ceased to live.
- Mark Twain

Don't live down to expectations.
Go out there and do something remarkable.
- Wendy Wasserstein

Live Well, Love Much, Laugh Often.
- Anonymous

The biggest adventure you can take is
to live the life of your dreams.
- Oprah Winfrey


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May the world be kind to you,
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.