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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Three Quotes
Funny Quotes about Three

Let these funny Three Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
- Laurence J. Peter

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)


 

There are only three things women need in life:
food,
water, and compliments.
- Chris Rock

Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous

I have six locks on my door all in a row.
When I go out, I lock every other one.
I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks,
they are always locking three.
- Elayne Boosler


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I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes,
I had one thousand and sixty.
- Imelda Marcos

I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years
to have breakfast together,
but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.
- Winston Churchill

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
- Benjamin Franklin

There are three types of lies -
lies, damn lies, and statistics.
- Benjamin Disraeli

To the uneducated an A is just three sticks.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

There are three rules for dating:
1) Don't;
2) If you must, just be careful;
3) Forget the rules, your hormones will win anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have three kinds of friends:
those who love me,
those who pay no attention to me,
and those who detest me.
- Nicolas De Chamfort

See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil.
- Japanese pictorial maxim (the Three Wise Monkeys)

In three words, I can sum up everything
I've learned about life - it goes on.
- Robert Frost

There's three things men always talk about -
women,
sports, and cars.
- Mario Lopez

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance,
and to turn around three times before lying down.
- Robert Benchley

All Knowledge is Divided into Three Domains:
"What We Know",
"What We Know That We Don't Know", and
"What We Don't Know That We Don't Know."
- Werner Erhard

Three things cannot be long hidden:
the sun, the moon, and the truth.
- The Buddha

I love short trips to New York; to me it is the finest three-day town on earth.
- James Cameron

I had three chairs in my house;
one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society.
- Henry David Thoreau

There are three roads to ruin; women,
gambling and technicians.
The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling,
but the surest is with technicians.
- Georges Pompidou

Three things are needed for a good life,
good friends, good food, and good song.
- Jason Zebehazy

By three methods we may learn wisdom:
First,
by reflection, which is noblest; Second,
by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience,
which is the bitterest.
- Confucius

Three Rules of Work:
Out of clutter find simplicity;
From discord find harmony;
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
- Albert Einstein

All truth passes through three stages:
First, it is ridiculed;
Second, it is violently opposed;
Third, it is accepted as self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.
- Bill Maher

Voting is an expression of three key life principles -
CHOICE, INTENT, and ACTION.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If a man watches three football games in a row,
he should be declared legally dead.
- Erma Bombeck

A friendship will be young after the lapse of half a century;
a passion is old at the end of three months.
- Madame Swetchine

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically
into three major categories;
those that don't work,
those that break down and those that get lost.
- Russell Baker

Wisdom, compassion, and courage are the three universally
recognized moral qualities of men.
- Confucius

If you can change three lives in 10,
three lives in a hundred,
that's got to be good, hasn't it?
- Ian Botham

You know they say the most dangerous person of the
world is a member of the United States Congress just
home from a three-day fact-finding trip.
- Johnny Isakson

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths pure theatre.
- Gail Godwin

He is a drunkard who takes more than
three glasses though he be not drunk.
- Epictetus

Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are
something to do,
something to love,
and something to hope for.
- Joseph Addison

Three-quarters of the sicknesses of intelligent people
come from their intelligence.
They need at least a doctor who can understand this sickness.
- Marcel Proust

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.
Unless there are three other people.
- Orson Welles

There are three species of government:
republican,
monarchical, and despotic.
- Charles de Secondat

I have just three things to teach:
simplicity, patience, compassion.
These three are your greatest treasures.
- Lao Tzu

Each memorable verse of a true poet has two or three
times the written content.
- Alfred de Musset

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life
are already three parts dead.
- Bertrand Russell

Imagination and fiction make up more than three quarters of our real life.
- Simone Weil

There are three classes of people:
those who see,
those who see when they are shown,
those who do not see.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Think what a better world it would be if we all,
the whole world, had cookies and milk about three o'clock
every afternoon and then lay down on our blankets for a nap.
- Barbara Jordan

It's very strange that most people don't care if their
knowledge of their family history only goes back three generations.
- Doug Coupland

To eat well in England, you should have a breakfast three times a day.
- W. Somerset Maugham

I do love Italian food.
Any kind of pasta or pizza.
My new pig out food is Indian food.
I eat Indian food like three times a week.
It's so good.
- Jennifer Love Hewitt

Never forget the three powerful resources
you always have available to you:
love, prayer, and forgiveness.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat.
There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra
three years in the geriatric ward.
- John Mortimer

The time to enjoy a European trip is about three weeks after unpacking.
- George Ade

Self-reverence, self-knowledge, self-control;
these three alone lead one to sovereign power.
- Alfred Lord Tennyson

We have three cats.
It's like having children, but there is no tuition involved.
- Ron Reagan

When I was 18, I thought my father was pretty dumb.
After a while when I got to be 21, I was amazed to
find out how much he'd learned in three years.
- Frank Butler

Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world.
If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off.
- Bill Veeck

Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man
can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer.
- Ted Williams

A man's work is nothing but this slow trek to rediscover,
through the detours of art, those two or three great
and simple images in whose presence his heart first opened.
- Albert Camus

Liberals in Congress have spent the past three decades
pandering to environmental extremists.
The policies they have put in place are in large part
responsible for the energy crunch we are seeing today.
We have not built a refinery in this country for 30 years.
- Marsha Blackburn

AUM, the most primordial human sound -
and the sound most connected to Spirit,
is pronounced in these three parts:
A (as in mama) - a throat sound
that vibrates in the abdomen - signifies waking.
U (as in who) - a tongue sound
that vibrates in the chest - signifies dreaming.
M (as in mama) - a lip sound
that vibrates in the head - signifies sleeping.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Now abide faith, hope, love, these three;
but the greatest of these is love.
- Corinthians 13:13

If a country is to be corruption free and become a
nation of beautiful minds,
I strongly feel there are three key societal members
who can make a difference.
They are the father, the mother and the teacher.
- Abdul Kalam

By our Heavenly Father and only because of God,
only because of God.
We're like other couples.
We do not get along perfectly; we do not go without arguments and,
as I call them, fights, and heartache and pain and hurting each other.
But a marriage is three of us.
- Barbara Mandrell

I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize.
The first is gentleness;
the second is frugality;
the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others.
Be gentle and you can be bold;
be frugal and you can be generous;
avoid putting yourself before others
and you can become a leader among men.
- Lao Tzu

I never married because there was no need.
I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband.
I have a dog which growls every morning,
a parrot which swears all afternoon,
and a cat that comes home late at night.
- Marie Corelli

Today, if you look at financial systems around the globe,
more than half the population of the world -
out of six billion people,
more than three billion - do not qualify to take out a loan from a bank.
This is a shame.
- Muhammad Yunus

My life comes down to three moments:
the death of my father,
meeting my husband, and the birth of my daughter.
Everything I did previous to that just doesn't seem to add up to very much.
- Gwyneth Paltrow


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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