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Funny Any Quotes
Funny Quotes about Any

Let these funny Any Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
- Groucho Marx

The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous


 

Any girl can be glamorous.
All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
- Hedy Lamarr

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
- Walt Disney

Society is always taken by surprise
at any new example of common sense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


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Anyone can do any amount of work
provided it isn't the work
he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
- Robert Benchley

I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein

You know the only people who are always sure about
the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.
- Bill Cosby

Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov

I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

It is an open question whether any behavior
based on fear of eternal punishment
can be regarded as ethical
or should be regarded as merely cowardly.
- Margaret Mead

Any man today who returns from work,
sinks into a chair,
and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.
- Bill Cosby

Almost any sect, cult, or religion will
legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power.
- Robert A. Heinlein

If you have a job without any aggravations, you don't have a job.
- Malcolm S. Forbes (wealthy publisher)

Fear defeats more people than
any other one thing in the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain,
and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion
will legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power to do so,
and will follow it by suppressing opposition,
subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young,
and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.
- Robert Heinlein

Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated,
let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he
does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.
- Bill Cosby

By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates

Freedom is never dear at any price.
It is the breath of life.
What would a man not pay for living?
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

When life offers you a dream so far
beyond any of your expectations,
it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.
- Bella, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl

Hunger makes a thief of any man.
- Pearl S. Buck

Habit is habit,
and not to be flung out of the window by any man,
but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.
- Mark Twain

Thou canst not then be false to any man.
- William Shakespeare

We are not afraid to follow truth
wherever it may lead,
nor to tolerate any error
so long as reason is left free to combat it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
- Mark Twain

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

Feeling good about government is like looking on the
bright side of any catastrophe.
When you quit looking on the bright side,
the catastrophe is still there.
- P. J. O'Rourke

When I examine myself and my methods of thought,
I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy
has meant more to me than
any talent for absorbing positive knowledge.
- Albert Einstein

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated with any other means.
- Maimonides

Success in almost any field depends more on energy
and drive than it does on intelligence.
This explains why we have so many stupid leaders.
- Sloan Wilson

Much in life can be seen as ugly or beautiful - it's our choice.
Why would we choose to see any part of life as ugly?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I haven't got any special religion this morning.
My God is the God of Walkers.
If you walk hard enough,
you probably don't need any other god.
- Bruce Chatwin

I am a firm believer in the people.
If given the truth, they can be depended upon
to meet any national crisis.
The great point is to bring them the real facts.
- Abraham Lincoln

Frivolous lawsuits are booming in this county.
The U.S.
has more costs of litigation per person than any other
industrialized nation in the world,
and it is crippling our economy.
- Jack Kingston

Moral authority is never retained by
any attempt to hold on to it.
It comes without seeking and
is retained without effort.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

In any architecture, there is an equity between the
pragmatic function and the symbolic function.
- Michael Graves

When any situation arises which tempts you to become disturbed,
say: "There is another way of looking at this."
- A Course In Miracles

If human beings are fundamentally good,
no government is necessary; if they are fundamentally bad,
any government, being composed of human beings,
would be bad also.
- Fred Woodworth

I don't think there's any artist of any value who doesn't
doubt what they're doing.
- Francis Ford Coppola

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds -
they mature slowly.
- Peter De Vries

Any statement that is self-serving
is likely to contain untruths.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I was only the servant of my country and had I, at any moment,
failed to express her unflinching resolve to fight and conquer,
I should at once have been rightly cast aside.
- Winston Churchill

The first step towards the solution
of any problem is optimism.
- John Baines

When you are offended at any man's fault,
turn to yourself and study your own failings.
Then you will forget your anger.
- Epictetus

All the libel lawyers will tell you there's no libel any more,
that everyone's given up.
- Ian Hislop

Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions,
it is governed by our mental attitude.
- Dale Carnegie

We should distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

The greatest discovery of any generation
is that a human being
can alter his life by
altering his attitude
- William James

An idea not coupled with action will never get any
bigger than the brain cell it occupied.
- Arnold H. Glasow

Wisdom outweighs any wealth.
- Sophocles

I never make a trip to the United States without visiting a supermarket.
To me they are more fascinating than any fashion salon.
- Wallis Simpson

Under a government which imprisons any unjustly,
the true place for a just man is also a prison.
- Henry David Thoreau

I am not ashamed to say that no man I ever met was my father's equal,
and I never loved any other man as much.
- Hedy Lamarr

As long as any adult thinks that he,
like the parents and teachers of old,
can become introspective,
invoking his own youth to understand
the youth before him,
he is lost.
- Margaret Mead

The best minds are not in government.
If any were, business would steal them away.
- Ronald Reagan

Anybody who has been seriously engaged is scientific
work of any kind realizes that over the entrance to
the gates of the temple of science are written the words:
'Ye must have faith.'
- Max Planck

If you have ideas, you have the main asset you need,
and there isn't any limit to what you can do with your business and your life.
Ideas are any man's greatest asset.
- Harvey S. Firestone

My vision of a real humanity is of pure individuals
relating to each other, but not tied in any relationship.
They will be loving to each other,
but not being possessive of each other.
They will be sharing with each other
all their joys and all their blessings,
but never even in their dreams thinking of dominating,
thinking of enslaving the other person.
- Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh)

It is a cursed evil to any man to become as absorbed
in any subject as I am in mine.
- Charles Darwin

When one gets angry, it is always angry AT someone -
perhaps a friend or spouse, perhaps a stranger,
perhaps the nameless "they" - "those people at the bank wronged me,"
perhaps God, or perhaps oneself.
In any case, when one gets angry,
they want to find someone to be "responsible" for what happened.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married,
and another list of the reasons for their divorce,
you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping.
- Mignon McLaughlin

No individual has any right to come into the world
and go out of it without leaving something behind.
- George Washington Carver


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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