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Let these funny Crisis Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy
Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov
In the midst of crisis, boldly seize opportunity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am a firm believer in the people.
If given the truth, they can be depended upon
to meet any national crisis.
The great point is to bring them the real facts.
- Abraham Lincoln
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Consider calling it a challenge
rather than calling it a crisis.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Life is a moderately good play
with a badly written third act.
- Truman Capote
Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection,
not in books alone, but in every leaf in spring-time.
- Martin Luther
History is written by the victors.
- Winston Churchill
No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt
Give me your tired, your poor,
your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.
- written on the Statue of Liberty in New York harbor
The very ink with which all history
is written is merely fluid prejudice.
- Mark Twain
The history of free men is never really written by chance
but by choice; their choice!
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls.
- Simon and Garfunkel
Miracles are a retelling in small letters
of the very same story
which is written across the whole world
in letters too large for some of us to see.
- C. S. Lewis
Feel Unity with Spirit and All Creation
All things share the same breath the
beast, the tree, the man... the air
shares its spirit with all the life it supports.
- Chief Seattle [actually written by screenwriter Ted Perry in 1972]
"Mother Teresa Prayer"
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
... Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
... Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
... Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
... Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
... Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
... Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
... Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
... Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
We can do no great things - only small things with great love.
- although commonly attributed to Mother Teresa,
who kept a copy of this prayer on
the wall of her Calcutta orphanage,
this prayer was actually written by Kent Keith.
It is a fact often observed,
that men have written good verses
under the inspiration of passion,
who cannot write well under other circumstances.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I have never written a book that didn't teach me
far more than it taught any reader.
- Isaac Asimov
The Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
- although attributed to St. Francis of Assisi,
this prayer first appeared (written in French) in 1912
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
It takes a big cat to be number 2.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale
I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein
Life is a succession of lessons
which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller
Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.