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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Spoken Quotes
Funny Quotes about Spoken

Let these funny Spoken Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Some things cannot be spoken or discovered until
we have been stuck, incapacitated,
or blown off course for awhile.
- David Whyte

I often regret that I have spoken;
never that I have been silent.
- Publilius Syrus

If evil be spoken of you
and it be true, correct yourself,
if it be a lie, laugh at it.
- Epictetus

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)


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And as he spoke of understanding,
I looked up and saw the rainbow leap
with flames of many colors over me.
- Black Elk

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous


 

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

If he's first class, I'm traveling steerage.
- the movie Libeled Lady (1936)

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
- W. C. Fields

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

Life is uncertain; always eat dessert first.
- Anonymous

Getting fired is nature's way to telling you
that you had the wrong job in the first place.
- Hal Lancaster

After the first blush of sin, comes its indifference.
- Henry David Thoreau

There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer

The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

Those who have free seats at a play hiss first.
- Chinese Proverb

Get the facts first.
You can distort them later.
- Mark Twain

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

Faith is taking the first step,
even when you don't see the whole staircase.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

All things at first appear difficult.
- Chinese proverb

Seek first to understand,
then to be understood.
- Stephen Covey

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland

Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

To climb steep hills requires a slow pace at first.
- William Shakespeare

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
- Anonymous

Apathy, indifference, not caring...
It may sound insensitive for me to say, "I don't care,"
but ask first to what I am indifferent.
I choose to be caring, compassionate
and kind toward all people,
and I also choose to be indifferent to gossip,
petty complaints, and idle chatter.
About those, I just don't care.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off.
- LtG. Hal Moore

BERLIN: PROCLAMATION TO THE GERMAN NATION FEBRUARY 1, 1933
The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and co-operation.
It will preserve and defend those basic principles
on which our nation has been built.
It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality,
and the family as the basis of national life....
- Adolf Hitler

Lovers who have been left, lose confidence and become afraid.
They learn to leave relationships first.
The broken hearted become the heart breakers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid

The first quality that is needed is audacity.
- Winston Churchill

Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

During the first period of a man's life
the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Experience is a hard teacher.
She gives the test first
and the lessons afterwards.
- Anonymous

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you,
then they fight you, then you win.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Take a deep breath and do the difficult thing first.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Every really new idea looks crazy at first.
- Alfred North Whitehead

If we could first know where we are,
and whither we are tending,
we could then better judge what to do,
and how to do it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Non-violence is the first article of my faith.
It is also the last article of my creed.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.
- Samuel Johnson

We first make our habits, then our habits make us.
- John Dryden

Be gentle first with yourself.
- Lama Yeshe

My reaction to porno films is as follows; After the first ten minutes,
I want to go home and screw; After the first twenty minutes,
I never want to screw again as long as I live
- Erica Jong

The indispensable first step to getting
the things you want out of life is this:
Decide what you want.
- Ben Stein

Know, first, who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly.
- Epictetus

Self-trust is the first secret of success.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Habits are cobwebs at first, cables at last.
- Chinese proverb

Nothing happens unless first a dream.
- Carl Sandburg

A leader is not one who says, "Follow me."
A leader is one who says, "I'll go first."
- Neale Donald Walsch

First say to yourself what you would be;
then do what you have to do.
- Epictetus

All truth passes through three stages:
First, it is ridiculed;
Second, it is violently opposed;
Third, it is accepted as self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

In rivers, the water that you touch
is the last of what has passed
and the first of that which comes;
so with present time.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.
- Thomas Jefferson

Know first that you have absolutely no power to change the world,
and then address all your energies and intent toward improving it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In my country we go to prison first, and then become President.
- Nelson Mandela

Recognizing my blindness is the first step
toward regaining my sight.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all of our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time
- T. S. Eliot

Thanks to television, for the first time
the young are seeing history made
before it is censored by their elders.
- Margaret Mead


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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