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Let these funny Incapacitated Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Some things cannot be spoken or discovered until
we have been stuck, incapacitated,
or blown off course for awhile.
- David Whyte
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea;
but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
- Abraham Lincoln
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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf
Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
- Winston Churchill
We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Some days just go to Hell faster than others.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard
I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Some days you're the dog,
and some days you're the hydrant.
- Anonymous
Always do the right thing.
It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
- Anonymous
In every society some men are born to rule,
and some to advise.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Some days are simply meant for playing.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Some years ago I became president of Columbia University
and learned within 24 hours to be ready
to speak at the drop of a hat,
and I learned something more, the trustees were expected
to be ready to speak at the passing of the hat.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does
not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses.
They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton,
they laughed at the Wright brothers.
But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.
- Carl Sagan
Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked,
in which you can walk with love and reverence.
- Henry David Thoreau
Why, I'd like nothing better than to achieve
some bold adventure, worthy of our trip.
- Aristophanes
I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's
most effective criticism until you provoke him.
Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness.
- Henry David Thoreau
Life is like dancing.
If we have a big floor, many people will dance.
Some will get angry when the rhythm changes.
But life is changing all the time.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Weariness comes, on some days, from lack of service to self.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people stay for awhile,
and move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to a new understanding,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same.
- Flavia Weedn
Life is pretty simple:
You do some stuff.
Most fails. Some works.
You do more of what works.
- Leonardo da Vinci
When someone has a strong intuitive connection,
Buddhism suggests that it's because of karma,
some past connection.
- Richard Gere
There is some good in the worst of us
and some evil in the best of us.
When we discover this,
we are less prone to hate our enemies.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Some'll rob you with a six gun,
Some with a fountain pen.
- Woody Guthrie
The people of the world genuinely want peace.
Some day the leaders of the world are going to
have to give in and give it to them.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The effort to understand the universe is one
of the very few things that lifts human life
a little above the level of farce,
and gives it some of the grace of tragedy.
- Steven Weinberg
There is a good ear, in some men,
that draws supplies to virtue
out of very indifferent nutriment.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We travel, some of us forever, to seek
other states, other lives, other souls.
- Anais Nin
Every natural fact is a symbol of some spiritual fact.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A sense of humor... is needed armor.
Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips
is a sign that the person down deep
has a pretty good grasp of life.
- Hugh Sidey
It is nearly a certainty that some
of your expectations will not be met today -
choose Joy anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Being human, we are imperfect. That's why we need each other.
To catch each other when we falter.
To encourage each other when we lose heart.
Some may lead; others may follow; but none of us can go it alone.
- Hilary Clinton
Some people care too much. I think it's called love.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
He who is not everyday conquering some fear
has not learned the secret of life.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Whatever your work and whatever its worth,
No matter how strong or clever,
Some one will sneer if you pause to hear,
And scoff at your best endeavor.
For the target art has a broad expanse,
And wherever you chance to hit it,
Though close be your aim to the bull's-eye fame,
There are those who will never admit it.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Some people dream of success
while others wake up and work hard at it.
- Anonymous
Through humor, you can soften some
of the worst blows that life delivers.
And once you find laughter,
no matter how painful your situation might be,
you can survive it.
- Bill Cosby
You can fool all the people some of the time,
and some of the people all the time,
but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
- Abraham Lincoln (sometimes attributed to P. T. Barnum)
Age does not protect you from love.
But love, to some extent, protects you from age.
- Anais Nin
Be a yardstick of quality.
Some people aren't used to an environment
where excellence is expected.
- Steve Jobs
That some achieve great success,
is proof to all that others can achieve it as well.
- Abraham Lincoln
Some people wanted champagne and caviar
when they should have had beer and hot dogs.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
There are some things you learn best in calm,
and some in storm.
- Willa Cather
We're constantly striving for success, fame and comfort
when all we really need to be happy
is someone or some thing to be enthusiastic about.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
One strength of the communist system of the East
is that it has some of the character of a religion
and inspires the emotions of a religion.
- Albert Einstein
Truth is handsomer than the affectation of love.
Your goodness must have some edge to it, else it is none.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Every time you hear a bell ring,
it means that some angel's just got his wings.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
No love, no friendship can cross the path of our destiny
without leaving some mark on it forever.
- Francois Muriac
Some people move our souls to dance.
- Flavia Weedn
When friends stop being frank and useful to each other,
the whole world loses some of its radiance.
- Anatole Broyard
It is only in adventure that some people
succeed in knowing themselves -
in finding themselves.
- Andre Gide
Our grandchildren's grandchildren will shake their heads in shame
at some of the beliefs that we hold most dear today -
the question is, which ones?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
People sort themselves into groups
of happy people and unhappy people
through two different, but complementary mechanisms,
influence and affinity.
I influence those around me
with my emotional state, either happy or unhappy.
At the same time, I feel an affinity
for others who are like me in some way -
in this case by sharing my emotional outlook on life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Put some distance between yourself
and whatever is concerning you.
Distance in space or time
always creates a new perspective.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Miracles are a retelling in small letters
of the very same story
which is written across the whole world
in letters too large for some of us to see.
- C. S. Lewis
God gives some more than others
because some accept more than others.
- Ernest Holmes
If we spend the time we waste in sighing
for the perfect golden fruit
in fulfilling the conditions of its growth,
happiness will come, must come.
It is guaranteed in the very laws of the universe.
If it involves some chastening and renunciation, well,
the fruit will be all the sweeter for this touch of holiness.
- Helen Keller
Some single mind must be master,
else there will be no agreement in anything.
- Abraham Lincoln
Spend some time alone every day.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
If your home is not a place where you can truly
kick-back and be yourself - both physically and emotionally -
consider making some changes in your way-of-life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.