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Let these funny Lie Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Whenever I feel the need to exercise,
I lie down until it goes away.
- Robert Maynard Hutchins
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
- H. L. Mencken
The lion and the calf shall lie down together,
but the calf won't get much sleep.
- Woody Allen
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People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind
We tell lies when we are afraid...
afraid of what we don't know,
afraid of what others will think,
afraid of what will be found out about us.
But every time we tell a lie,
the thing that we fear grows stronger.
- Williams Tad
I do myself a greater injury in lying
than I do him of whom I tell a lie.
- Michel de Montaigne
A lie travels round the world while
truth is putting her boots on.
- French Proverb
(also attributed to Mark Twain, Winston Churchill, and others)
I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie.
I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave.
And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.
- H.L. Mencken
Even the truth, when believed, is a lie.
You must experience the truth, not believe it.
- Werner Erhard
If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it,
people will eventually come to believe it.
- Joseph Goebbels (Minister of Propaganda in Nazi Germany)
The truest expression of a people
is in its dances and its music.
Bodies never lie.
- Agnes De Mille
The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie,
deliberate, contrived and dishonest,
but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.
- John F. Kennedy
Half a truth is often a great lie.
- Benjamin Franklin
If evil be spoken of you
and it be true, correct yourself,
if it be a lie, laugh at it.
- Epictetus
The roots of all goodness lie
in the soil of appreciation for goodness.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
A lie cannot live.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Mind what people do, not only what they say,
for deeds will betray a lie.
- Terry Goodkind
Greatness is not in where we stand,
but in what direction we are moving.
We must sail sometimes with the wind
and sometimes against it -
but sail we must,
and not drift, nor lie at anchor.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Above all, don't lie to yourself.
The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie
comes to a point that he cannot
distinguish the truth within him, or around him,
and so loses all respect for himself and for others.
- Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Don't lie down. Get up.
- Bono
The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal.
The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.
- Benjamin E. Mays
Discrimination is a hellhound that gnaws at Negroes
in every waking moment of their lives
to remind them that the lie of their inferiority
is accepted as truth in the society dominating them.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Liar is a strong word, but we are all liars.
Not in the sense of intentionally speaking untruths,
but in the sense of carrying so much historical
and emotional baggage that none of us is believable.
To lie means to speak an untruth,
and virtually everything that comes out of our mouth
is an untruth - an opinion, an assumption,
a point-of-view based on our past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I want to share with you the three rules
that I have in order to accept an apprentice.
Rule Number 1: Don't believe me.
I don't want you to believe me
but I want you to listen and make choices - your choices.
If what I say, doesn't work for you, leave it.
But if it works for you and that's what you want, then make it yours.
Rule Number 2: Don't believe yourself.
Why? Because most of your belief system is a lie - it's not true.
And by believing yourself, you create all the limitations
that don't allow you to be what you really are.
Don't believe yourself. Listen to what you say,
listen to what you think, listen to what you believe.
And when you listen, open your ears, open your mind,
open your intelligence and make choices.
Rule 3 is, don't believe anybody else.
Don't believe them at all.
Open your ears and your mind; listen and make choices.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Art is the lie that enables us to realize the truth.
- Pablo Picasso
There are three types of lies -
lies, damn lies, and statistics.
- Benjamin Disraeli
Choose what lies in the shadows to be a matter
for discovery and adventure, rather than fear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world,
and the worst of it is that half of them are true.
- Winston Churchill
Human salvation lies in the hands
of the creatively maladjusted.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Listen to the compass of your heart.
All you need lies within you.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
What lies behind us and what lies before us
are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
Freedom lies in being bold.
- Robert Frost
Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
As human beings, our greatness lies
not so much in being able to remake the world -
as in being able to remake ourselves.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal.
My strength lies solely in my tenacity.
- Louis Pasteur
In wartime, truth is so precious that she
should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies.
- Winston Churchill
The final forming of a person's character
lies in their own hands.
- Anne Frank
The difference between work and play lies 100%
in the attitude of the participant.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The way lies in softness and patience,
as the softest water cuts through the hardest rock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Knowledge is a process of piling up facts;
wisdom lies in their simplification.
- Martin Fischer
At the bottom of enmity between strangers lies indifference.
- Soren Kierkegaard
We tell lies, yet it is easy to show that lying is immoral.
- Epictetus
The crops were planted, tended, and harvested -
now the ground lies fallow, awaiting the new planting.
Did the year fail? I think not.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths,
but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.
- Anne Frank
Be faithful in small things
because it is in them that your strength lies.
- Mother Teresa
Whosoever is spared personal pain
must feel himself called
to help in diminishing the pain of others.
We must all carry our share of
the misery which lies upon the world.
- Albert Schweitzer
All philosophy lies in two words,
sustain and abstain.
- Epictetus
Happiness lies in the joy of achievement
and the thrill of creative effort.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
The difference between the impossible and the possible
lies in a persons determination.
- Tommy Lasorda
The present is the ever moving shadow
that divides yesterday from tomorrow.
In that lies hope.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Three Rules of Work:
Out of clutter find simplicity;
From discord find harmony;
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
- Albert Einstein
If there is any one secret of success,
it lies in the ability to get
the other person's point of view
and see things from that person's angle
as well as from your own.
- Henry Ford
It is by going down into the abyss
that we recover the treasures of life.
Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.
- Joseph Campbell
Our greatest weakness lies in giving up.
The most certain way to succeed
is always to try just one more time.
- Thomas A. Edison
In the midst of difficulty lies opportunity.
- Albert Einstein
Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down
on the tracks of history
to wait for the train of the future to run over him.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling,
but in rising every time we fall.
- Nelson Mandela
Study history, study history.
In history lies all the secrets of statecraft.
- Winston Churchill
Glory lies in the attempt to reach one's goal,
and not in reaching it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment,
full effort is full victory.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Life is NOT "Supposed to be Fair."
Know that there is no single way that life is "supposed" to be.
Demanding that life meet our expectations
is a sure fire recipe for a miserable existence.
Life is a game with no rules.
Life just happens to us regardless of our best intentions.
Our only path to happiness lies in being open
to receiving whatever life throws at us -
with Gratitude. Have NO Expectations of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The road to freedom lies not through
mysteries or occult performances,
but through the intelligent use
of natural forces and laws.
- Ernest Holmes
Your success and happiness lies in you.
Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you
shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
- Helen Keller
A man who as a physical being
is always turned toward the outside,
thinking that his happiness lies outside him,
finally turns inward and
discovers that the source is within him.
- Soren Kierkegaard
The hope of a secure and livable world
lies with disciplined nonconformists
who are dedicated to justice, peace and brotherhood.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Man falls from the pursuit of the ideal
of plain living and high thinking
the moment he wants to multiply his daily wants.
Man's happiness really lies in contentment.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Love is the only reality and it is not a mere sentiment.
It is the ultimate truth that lies at the heart of creation.
- Rabindranath Tagore
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.