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Let these funny Militant Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
I am not only a pacifist but a militant pacifist.
I am willing to fight for peace.
Nothing will end war unless
the people themselves refuse to go to war.
- Albert Einstein
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand 
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
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It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill
Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus
It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill
Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster
The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon
The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson
It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz
When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson
Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France
Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty
Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.