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Funny Unless Quotes
Funny Quotes about Unless

Let these funny Unless Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha

Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2

Unless they share our opinions,
we seldom find people sensible.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie


 

You cannot discover new oceans unless
you have the courage to lose site of the shore.
- Anonymous

A good-bye is never painful unless
you're never going to say hello again.
- Anonymous

Quotations are dead unless a spur for inquiry.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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People rarely succeed unless they
have fun in what they are doing.
- Dale Carnegie

I do not believe in a fate that
falls on men however they act;
but I do believe in a fate
that falls on them unless they act.
- The Buddha

A true friend never gets in your way
unless you happen to be going down.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

Unless we place our religion
and our treasure in the same thing,
religion will always be sacrificed.
- Epictetus

I am not only a pacifist but a militant pacifist.
I am willing to fight for peace.
Nothing will end war unless
the people themselves refuse to go to war.
- Albert Einstein

A house is not a home unless it
contains food and fire
for the mind as well as the body.
- Benjamin Franklin

The part can never be well unless the whole is well.
- Plato

No one can terrorize a whole nation,
unless we are all his accomplices.
- Edward R. Murrow

A man can't ride your back unless it's bent.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Unless you try to do something
beyond what you have already mastered,
you will never grow.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.
- Henry David Thoreau

It is no use walking anywhere to preach
unless our walking is our preaching.
- St. Francis of Assisi

About leadership: No person can be a great leader
unless he takes genuine joy
in the successes of those under him.
- W. A. Nance

By nature, we are all creatures of habit.
We instinctively adopt familiar routines for most activities.
We eat about the same number of meals each day -
at more or less the same times.
We have a regular pattern of sleeping -
unless it is perturbed by illness or shift work.
Most everything we do is habitual.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A bend in the road is not the end of the road
unless you fail to make the turn.
- Anonymous

Unless both sides win,
no agreement can be permanent.
- Jimmy Carter

No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy -
unless you let him.
- Napoleon Hill

Courage is doing what you're afraid to do.
There can be no courage unless you're scared.
- Eddie Rickenbacker

You can't get unless you give.
And you have to give without wanting to get.
- Theodore H. White

To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.
- Confucius

The WAY is Not The Way for You,
Unless You Come With an Open Mind,
Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I hate the giving of the hand
unless the whole man accompanies it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nothing happens unless first a dream.
- Carl Sandburg

Ever had a bad hair day -
a day when everything seemed to be going wrong?
Perhaps today is a day to soothe your ruffled feathers,
take a deep breath, and reaffirm that
the weight of the world is really not on your shoulders,
unless you choose to assume that burden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never stop dreaming your inspired future.
Believing in your dreams is only the first step,
but unless you have a dream that you believe in,
you are leaving your future to random chance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are not going to be able
to operate our Spaceship Earth
successfully nor for much longer
unless we see it as a whole spaceship
and our fate as common.
It has to be everybody or nobody.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability,
but comes through continuous struggle.
And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom.
A man can't ride you unless your back is bent.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Often, we get stuck on a question
for which we can't find an acceptable answer.
That is a good time to consider asking a different question.
Every question is based on some assumptions -
usually invisible assumptions that we don't see, unless we go looking.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Unless we form the habit of going to the Bible
in bright moments as well as in trouble,
we cannot fully respond to its consolations
because we lack equilibrium between light and darkness.
- Helen Keller

Life repeats itself mindlessly -
unless you become mindful, it will go on repeating like a wheel.
That's why Buddhists call it the wheel of life and death,
the wheel of time.
It moves like a wheel: birth is followed by death,
death is followed by birth;
love is followed by hate, hate is followed by love;
success is followed by failure,
failure is followed by success. Just see!
If you can watch just for a few days,
you will see a pattern emerging, a wheel pattern.
One day, a fine morning, you are feeling so good and so happy,
and another day you are so dull,
so dead that you start thinking of committing suicide.
And just the other day you were so full of life,
so blissful that you were feeling thankful to God,
that you were in a mood of deep gratefulness,
and today there is great complaint
and you don't see the point why one should go on living...
And it goes on and on, but you don't see the pattern.
Once you see the pattern, you can get out of it.
- Osho

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was,
Thank you, that would suffice.
- Meister Eckhart

I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous

Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau

I am a self-centered spoiled-rotten brat,
Thank you for nurturing me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a nurturing mother,
when you just remember to say "thank you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died.
Rather we should thank God that such men lived.
- George S. Patton

Thank you, God, for this good life
and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
- Garrison Keillor

"Good morning!" he said at last.
"We don't want any adventures here, thank you!
You might try over The Hill or across The Water."
- J. R. R. Tolkien

Know the power of saying, "Thank you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I thank Spirit for EVERYTHING
that has brought me to this moment,
and entrust my entire being
to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Thank you for joining me on this journey we call Life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I thank you God for this most amazing day,
for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and for the blue dream of sky
and for everything which is natural,
which is infinite, which is yes.
- e. e. cummings

I take every opportunity to articulate to others
the ways that they have blessed and influenced me.
I hold sweet memories of making the opportunity
to thank teachers who have influenced me.
I encourage everyone to seize opportunities
to tell people who have made a gift of knowledge or influence.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

It is my choice to care deeply about others.
No kindness is too small to be important -
the smile to the bank teller,
the sincere "thank you" for all kindnesses received,
the reassuring hand on the shoulder of a loved one or friend.
There is compassion in selfless generosity,
but there is also compassion in heartfelt empathy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every man in his lifetime needs to thank his faults.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I thank God for my handicaps, for through them,
I have found myself, my work and my God.
- Helen Keller

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

Magic is natural to Wizards,
and only a little harder for the rest of us.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill

Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen

I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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