Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Illusions Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Don't part with your illusions.
When they are gone you may still exist,
but you have ceased to live.
- Mark Twain
One of the illusions of life is that the present hour
is not the critical, decisive hour.
Write it on your heart that
every day is the best day in the year.
No man has learned anything rightly,
until he knows that every day is Doomsday.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I'm an idealist without illusions.
- John F. Kennedy
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
Tradition is the illusion of permanence.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
There is an optical illusion about every person we meet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone.
Only through our love and friendship can we
create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.
- Orson Welles
The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance -
it is the illusion of knowledge.
- Daniel J. Boorstin
There are as many pillows of illusion
as flakes in a snow-storm.
We wake from one dream into another dream.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth.
- Ludwig Boerne
Nothing is missing - Lack is an illusion.
We always have everything we truly need.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A system of morality which is based
on relative emotional values
is a mere illusion, a thoroughly vulgar conception
which has nothing sound in it and nothing true.
- Socrates
We are here to awaken from the illusion of our separateness.
- Thich Nhat Hanh
The distinction between the past, present and future
is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.
- Albert Einstein
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
- Albert Einstein
What if it were only an illusion?
Perhaps life is not as threatening as it appears.
Perhaps the greatest threat to our serenity
is our fear of the future -
our fear of the unknown.
Perhaps, as Franklin D. Roosevelt said,
"The Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The believing we do something when we do nothing
is the first illusion of tobacco.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Tip the world over on its side and
everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
Attitude is everything.
- Charles Swindoll
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell [attributed]
(Commissioner, US Patent Office, in 1899)
The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
The simple life is everything Vogue isn't.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
- Phyllis Diller
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen
The more he became truly wise,
the more he distrusted everything he knew.
- Voltaire
Everything has beauty,
but not everyone sees it.
- Confucius
Everything is a miracle,
not just the beautiful and lovely things.
- Anonymous
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.
The real miracle is the love that inspires them.
In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
- A Course in Miracles
When I see Spirit in everything, Peace is at hand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
- Lao Tzu
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
So divinely is the world organized that every one of us,
in our place and time, is in balance with everything else.
- Adam Acone
Everything you say and do,
is a reflection of the inner you.
- Anonymous
Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I Am One With Spirit and All Creation -
I give thanks for the unity of all creation
and for everything that has brought me to this moment.
I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world,
and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
- Norman Vincent Peale
I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
Feeling overwhelmed by apparent demands on our time
is like going to a restaurant,
ordering everything on the menu,
and complaining about indigestion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is nothing more depressing,
than having everything,
and still feeling sad.
- Janet Jackson
Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel
Everything that irritates us about others
can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
- Carl Jung
In three words, I can sum up everything
I've learned about life - it goes on.
- Robert Frost
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
It is easy enough to be pleasant
When life flows by like a song,
But the man worth while is the one who will smile
When everything goes dead wrong.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Imagination decides everything.
- Blaise Pascal
Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
For everything I observe or experience,
I create a story - not sometimes, but always.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Presence requires an internal alertness
to the all and everything surrounding us.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
Everything we say, do, think, and feel
is a product of our personal history
and the collective history of humankind.
Our name for these histories is "prejudice."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Imagination is everything.
It is the preview of life's coming attractions.
- Albert Einstein
When we come into the present,
we begin to feel the life around us again,
but we also encounter whatever we have been avoiding.
We must have the courage to face whatever is present -
our pain, our desires, our grief,
our loss, our secret hopes our love -
everything that moves us most deeply.
- Jack Kornfield
Everything that we see is a shadow
cast by that which we do not see.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge
and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you,
you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Everything that can be counted
does not necessarily count;
everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted.
- Albert Einstein
Everything that is really great and inspiring
is created by the individual who can labor in freedom.
- Albert Einstein
Most everything in life is about our
point-of-view rather than any absolute.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thank you for visiting: Funny Illusions Quotes - Funny Quotes about Illusions.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.