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Let these funny Husbandry Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
- William Shakespeare
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken
My husband melted my heart the day he asked me,
"Can I participate in your wonder?"
In whose wonder do you get to participate today?
- Mary Anne Radmacher
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I used to tell my husband that,
if he could make me "understand" something,
it would be clear to all the other people in the country.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Do real life people actually fall in love
with the idea of being in love?
Unfortunately, it is actually quite common.
Someone wants desperately to have
the husband or wife of their dreams.
They visualize the vine-covered cottage
with the white picket fence.
They choose the colors for the nursery.
They design all the aspects of their married life.
A real person stands no chance of measuring up to those fantasies.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A man cannot speak to his son, but as a father;
to his wife, but as a husband;
to his enemy, but upon terms:
whereas a friend may speak, as the case requires,
and not as it sorteth with the person.
- Francis Bacon
When you are alone you are not alone,
you are simply lonely -
and there is a tremendous difference
between loneliness and aloneness.
When you are lonely you are thinking of the other,
you are missing the other.
Loneliness is a negative state.
You are feeling that it would have been
better if the other were there -
your friend, your wife, your mother,
your beloved, your husband.
It would have been good if the other
were there, but the other is not.
Loneliness is absence of the other.
Aloneness is the presence of oneself.
Aloneness is very positive.
It is a presence, overflowing presence.
You are so full of presence
that you can fill the whole universe
with your presence and there is no need for anybody.
- Osho
Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)
Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
- Anonymous
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill
The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
It is an open question whether any behavior
based on fear of eternal punishment
can be regarded as ethical
or should be regarded as merely cowardly.
- Margaret Mead
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing,
and should be treated with caution.
- J. K. Rowling
Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Everyone should carefully observe
which way his heart draws him,
and then choose that way with all his strength.
- Hasidic Proverb
Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel
You either do it completely and utterly,
or you should stop doing it.
- Bono (paraphrase)
Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank
If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Those who have come here to hate should leave now;
for in their hate, they only betray themselves.
- Terry Goodkind
I've learned that you should always
leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
- Anonymous
If a man is proud of his wealth,
he should not be praised until it is known how he employs it.
- Socrates
The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp
No one should ever sit in this office over 70 years old,
and that I know.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The value of a man should be seen in what he gives
and not in what he is able to receive.
- Albert Einstein
All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance
and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
One that desires to excel
should endeavor in those things
that are in themselves most excellent.
- Epictetus
The school is the last expenditure upon which America
should be willing to economize.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
There is NOTHING that I "must",
"have to", or "should" do today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I surrender to life as it is, not as it should be.
- Richard Carlson
We should not moor a ship with one anchor,
or our life with one hope.
- Epictetus
If the stars should appear
but one night every thousand years
how man would marvel and stare.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If a man does not make new acquaintances
as he advances through life,
he will soon find himself alone.
A man, sir, should keep his friendships in constant repair.
- Samuel Johnson
The only way to store information is by agreement.
The belief system is like a Book of Law that rules our mind.
Our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive.
Humans punish themselves endlessly
for not being what they believe they should be.
We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others,
but we cannot accept and love ourselves.
- don Miguel Ruiz
If there is anything that we wish to change in the child,
we should first examine it and see whether it is
not something that could better be changed in ourselves.
- Carl Jung
Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is.
Treat a man as he can and should be,
and he will become as he can and should be.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
No partner in a love relationship...
should feel that he has to give up
an essential part of himself to make it viable.
- May Sarton
Every citizen should be a soldier.
This was the case with the Greeks and Romans,
and must be that of every free state.
- Thomas Jefferson
When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Whatever your life's work is, do it well.
A man should do his job so well that the living,
the dead, and the unborn could do it no better.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
But for my faith in God, I should have been a raving maniac.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
NO ONE has been granted the authority to tell me
how my life should be lived.
I answer only to myself and to Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care
for people will hear them and be influenced
by them for good or ill.
- The Buddha
The battle for the individual rights of women is one of long standing
and none of us should countenance anything which undermines it.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
We should be too big to take offense
and too noble to give it.
- Abraham Lincoln
How often I found where I should be going
only by setting out for somewhere else.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Life should not be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out,
and loudly proclaiming, "Wow! What a Ride!"
- Hunter S. Thompson
It is one thing to say that something should be done,
but quite a different matter to do it.
- Aesop
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.