Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Thinks Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Life is a mirror, and will reflect back
to the thinker what he thinks into it.
- Ernest Holmes
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor
Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
Everyone thinks of changing the world,
but no one thinks of changing himself.
- Leo Tolstoy
The man who can't dance thinks the band is no good.
- Polish Proverb
We know what a person thinks not when he tells us
what he thinks, but by his actions.
- Isaac Bashevis Singe
People do not like to think.
If one thinks, one must reach conclusions.
Conclusions are not always pleasant.
- Helen Keller
He is able who thinks he is able.
- The Buddha
A man should look for what is,
and not for what he thinks should be.
- Albert Einstein
A man is but the product of his thoughts -
what he thinks, he becomes.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks-
if we agree with him.
- Mark Twain
Anyone who thinks, must think of
the next war as they would of suicide.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
A man is what he thinks about all day long.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is impossible to begin to learn
that which one thinks one already knows.
- Epictetus
Part of me suspects that I'm a loser,
and the other part of me thinks I'm God Almighty.
- John Lennon
As long as any adult thinks that he,
like the parents and teachers of old,
can become introspective,
invoking his own youth to understand
the youth before him,
he is lost.
- Margaret Mead
If someone thinks that love and peace is a cliche
that must have been left behind in the Sixties,
that's his problem. Love and peace are eternal.
- John Lennon
It is what a man thinks of himself
that really determines his fate.
- Henry David Thoreau
Naturally, every age thinks that all ages before it were prejudiced,
and today we think this more than ever, and are just as wrong
as all previous ages that thought so.
How often have we not seen the truth condemned!
It is sad but unfortunately true that man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't
It's almost a cinch you won't.
Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man;
But soon or late the man who wins is the one who thinks he can.
- Anonymous
Meddling:
Everything that happens in the world, or doesn't happen,
is NOT my responsibility.
There are more than enough things that are my responsibility.
I am responsible for my thoughts, my beliefs, and my actions -
and that is enough.
It does not serve me to mind anyone else's business.
I can only make myself unhappy by trying to second guess
what anyone else thinks or does.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha
I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin
She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller
Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong
If you can't annoy somebody with what you write,
I think there's little point in writing.
- Kingsley Amis
I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie
No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt
Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon
The function of education is to teach one
to think intensively and to think critically.
Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.
- Albert Einstein
Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain
To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu
The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller
People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein
You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie
Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank
Thank you for visiting: Funny Thinks Quotes - Funny Quotes about Thinks.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.