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Let these funny Dulls Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
- William Shakespeare
A lot of presidential memoirs, they say, are dull and self-serving.
I hope mine is interesting and self-serving.
- William J. Clinton
I have tried lately to read Shakespeare,
and found it so intolerably dull that it nauseated me.
- Charles Darwin
Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous
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To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
- Proverb
No matter how dull, or how mean, or how wise a man is,
he feels that happiness is his indisputable right.
- Helen Keller
Life repeats itself mindlessly -
unless you become mindful, it will go on repeating like a wheel.
That's why Buddhists call it the wheel of life and death,
the wheel of time.
It moves like a wheel: birth is followed by death,
death is followed by birth;
love is followed by hate, hate is followed by love;
success is followed by failure,
failure is followed by success. Just see!
If you can watch just for a few days,
you will see a pattern emerging, a wheel pattern.
One day, a fine morning, you are feeling so good and so happy,
and another day you are so dull,
so dead that you start thinking of committing suicide.
And just the other day you were so full of life,
so blissful that you were feeling thankful to God,
that you were in a mood of deep gratefulness,
and today there is great complaint
and you don't see the point why one should go on living...
And it goes on and on, but you don't see the pattern.
Once you see the pattern, you can get out of it.
- Osho
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new- hatch'd, unfledg'd comrade.
- William Shakespeare
What usually happens in the educational process is
that the faculties are dulled, overloaded, stuffed
and paralyzed so that by the time most people are mature
they have lost their innate capabilities.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter
Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly,
usually for the same reason.
- Anonymous
What one has to do usually can be done.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
When you ask the wrong question,
you usually get a nonsense answer.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Success usually comes to those
who are too busy to be looking for it.
- Henry David Thoreau
Trust your hunches. They're usually based on facts
filed away just below the conscious level.
- Joyce Brothers
Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice,
and is never the result of selfishness.
- Napoleon Hill
Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work,
so most people don't recognize them.
- Ann Landers
The path to your own happiness is usually found in service.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is usually the imagination that is wounded first,
rather than the heart; it being much more sensitive.
- Henry David Thoreau
The best morale exist when you never hear the word mentioned.
When you hear a lot of talk about it, it's usually lousy.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Each of us is burdened by an unlimited number of
expectations (demands) that we hold for the actions of others.
We "know" that there is a right way to do things,
and are often outraged when our expectations are not met.
Usually, we are unaware that we merely
have a strong opinion and point-of-view,
and are sure that we know how everything is supposed to be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't take it personally -
it's not usually about you.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Parents are usually more careful to bestow knowledge
on their children rather than virtue,
the art of speaking well rather than doing well;
but their manners should be of the greatest concern.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
It really does matter when we tell even the slightest untruth.
Even something as well intentioned as
telling someone their ill-finished
hair style looks wonderful will backfire -
certainly karmically, and usually practically.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Often, we get stuck on a question
for which we can't find an acceptable answer.
That is a good time to consider asking a different question.
Every question is based on some assumptions -
usually invisible assumptions that we don't see, unless we go looking.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
My ideas usually come not at my desk writing
but in the midst of living.
- Anais Nin
We all should choose our friends carefully.
I used to think that no one could know me better than somebody else,
because you're inside yourself, your body, you can't see yourself.
If you think like that, you surround yourself with
other people who are willing to tell you who you are,
which are usually judgmental people ...
we should really surround ourselves with the ones
that adore us and believe in the highest of us.
- Jewel
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.