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Let these funny Hanging Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Success seems to be largely a matter
of hanging on after others have let go.
- William Feather
Hang tough... big girl panties today.
- Anonymous humor
We must all hang together,
or assuredly we shall all hang separately.
- Benjamin Franklin
When you reach the end of your rope,
tie a knot and hang on.
- Anonymous Saying
(Sometimes attributed to Franklin D. Roosevelt,
Eleanor Roosevelt, or Thomas Jefferson)
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We must, indeed, all hang together or,
most assuredly, we shall all hang separately.
- Benjamin Franklin
Great talents are the most lovely
and often the most dangerous
fruits on the tree of humanity.
They hang upon the most slender twigs
that are easily snapped off.
- Carl Jung
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"
Jesus replied:
"'Love the Lord your God with all your heart
and with all your soul and with all your mind.'
This is the first and greatest commandment.
And the second is like it:
'Love your neighbor as yourself.'
All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
- Matthew 22:36-40
Home is our sanctuary, where we:
relax into being ourselves,
play with our inner child,
paint the walls green and pink,
dig in the dirt,
grow something,
love somebody else,
love ourselves even more,
snuggle with a warm blanket on a Sunday afternoon,
hang "go away" on the door whenever we want,
clean and tidy often... or never,
launch from and return to,
are truly ourselves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
He who wishes to be rich in a day will be hanged in a year.
- Leonardo da Vinci
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live,
it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
- Oscar Wilde
The best friend is the man who in wishing me well
wishes it for my sake.
- Anonymous
Great minds have purposes others have wishes.
- Washington Irving
If the human race wishes to have a
prolonged and indefinite period of material prosperity,
they have only got to behave in a
peaceful and helpful way toward one another.
- Winston Churchill
Do not seek to bring things to pass
in accordance with your wishes,
but wish for them as they are,
and you will find them.
- Epictetus
An enemy generally says and believes what he wishes.
- Thomas Jefferson
Anyone is free who lives as he wishes to live.
- Epictetus
Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill,
that we shall pay any price, bear any burden,
meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe
to assure the survival and the success of liberty.
- John F. Kennedy
God sometimes does try to the uttermost
those whom he wishes to bless.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Men admire the man who can organize
their wishes and thoughts
in stone and wood and steel and brass.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A scientific man ought to have no wishes, no affections, -
a mere heart of stone.
- Charles Darwin
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Gossip is the art of saying nothing
in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.
- Walter Winchell
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing.
- the movie The Rescuers Down Under
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
Life is like a roller coaster - scream Whee... on the way down,
and let the momentum carry you back up the next hill.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde
The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown
The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
My way of joking is telling the truth;
that is the funniest joke in the world.
- George Bernard Shaw
Where there's a will, there's a way.
- old English proverb
Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
When life is like a slippery downhill slope,
go skiing and scream Whee... all the way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen
The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson
True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo
Getting fired is nature's way to telling you
that you had the wrong job in the first place.
- Hal Lancaster
Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.
- Babe Ruth
The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every religion is true one way or another.
It is true when understood metaphorically.
But when it gets stuck in its own metaphors,
interpreting them as facts, then you are in trouble.
- Joseph Campbell
Anger? perhaps there is a better way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I make it a policy to try never to
make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way.
After all, there's always all kinds of new ways
to make a complete idiot of myself.
Why repeat the old ones?
- Margot Dalton
You're only here for a short visit.
Don't hurry. Don't worry.
And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.
- Walter Hagen
Miracles are the natural way of the Universe -
our only job is to move our doubting minds aside
and let the miracles flow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The God of Children and Fools:
There once was a man way up high,
who sat on his chair in the sky.
he called down to fool us,
and said he would rule us,
until we woke up bye and bye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Simple living is the way to happy living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Know the power and the peace of saying,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The way I see it, if you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton
As we work to create light for others,
we naturally light our own way.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo
We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal,
and then leap in the dark to our success.
- Henry David Thoreau
Guilt is only another way of avoiding informed action.
- Audre Lorde
Remember that life is an ADVENTURE, and cheer Whee...
all the way down the slippery razor-blade of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The fastest way to destroy love
is to make a goal out of it,
because people who are trying to be loved
come from a place that they're not loved.
- Werner Erhard
The most effective way to cope with change
is to help create it.
- L. W. Lynett
Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes.
Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow.
Let reality be reality.
Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.
- Lao Tzu
We will either find a way or make one.
- Hannibal
The only way to discover the limits of the possible
is to go beyond them into the impossible.
- Arthur C. Clarke
When ordinary life shackles me,
I escape, one way or another. No more walls.
- Anais Nin
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Dale Carnegie
All religions must be tolerated...
for every man must get to heaven in his own way.
- Epictetus
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.