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Funny Matter Quotes
Funny Quotes about Matter

Let these funny Matter Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Choose what lies in the shadows to be a matter
for discovery and adventure, rather than fear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill

I have six locks on my door all in a row.
When I go out, I lock every other one.
I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks,
they are always locking three.
- Elayne Boosler


 

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

Boys will be boys. And even that wouldn't matter
if only we could prevent girls from being girls.
- Anne Frank

It isn't a matter of black is beautiful as much as
it is white is not all that's beautiful.
- Bill Cosby


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The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown

The most important service rendered
by the press and the magazines
is that of educating people
to approach printed matter with distrust.
- Samuel Butler

No matter how calmly you try to referee,
parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior,
and I'm not talking about the kids.
Their behavior is always normal.
- Bill Cosby

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent
about things that matter.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

It is the friends you can call up at 4 A.M. that matter.
- Marlene Dietrich

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha

Distance cannot matter - ours is a friendship of the heart.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

No matter how dull, or how mean, or how wise a man is,
he feels that happiness is his indisputable right.
- Helen Keller

No matter what happens, someone will find a way
to take it too seriously.
- Dave Barry

People will do anything, no matter how absurd,
to avoid facing their own souls.
- Carl Jung

Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It doesn't matter who my father was.
It matters who I remember he was.
- Anne Sexton

Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering

Okay, so it's a matter of life and death - now are you happy?
Urgency is never a path to joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

At the end of a matter ask,
"What will I learn from this to make me better?"
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Unexpected events can set you back or set you up.
It's all a matter of - perspective.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Every form of addiction is bad,
no matter whether the narcotic
be alcohol or morphine or idealism.
- Carl Jung

It doesn't matter how long my hair is
or what color my skin is
or whether I'm a woman or a man.
- John Lennon

No matter how old we become, we can still call them
'Holy Mother' and 'Father' and put a child-like trust in them.
- Desmond Morris

Through humor, you can soften some
of the worst blows that life delivers.
And once you find laughter,
no matter how painful your situation might be,
you can survive it.
- Bill Cosby

No matter where I've been overseas, the food stinks,
except in Italy.
- Carmen Electra

The house has to please everyone, contrary to the work of art which does not.
The work is a private matter for the artist.
The house is not.
- Adolf Loos

It doesn't matter about money; having it,
not having it.
Or having clothes, or not having them.
You're still left alone with yourself in the end.
- Billy Idol

I constantly seek excellence
in all domains that truly matter to me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A woman whose smile is open and whose expression is
glad has a kind of beauty no matter what she wears.
- Anne Roiphe

Whales only get harpooned when they come to the surface,
and turtles can only move forward when they stick their neck out,
but investors face risk no matter what they do.
- Charles A. Jaffe

Youth is a quality, not a matter of circumstances.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Security is not the absence of danger,
but the presence of God,
no matter what the danger.
- Anonymous

Dreams are renewable no matter what our age.
- Dale Turner

Cagey trial lawyers have figured out there's a pretty
good likelihood their case -
no matter what its merit -
will literally get its day in court because of favorable judges.
- Dennis Hastert

Destiny is not a matter of chance,
It is a matter of choice.
It is not something to be waited for,
But rather something to be achieved.
- William Jennings Bryan

No matter how many goals you have achieved,
you must set your sights on a higher one.
- Jessica Savitch

Most unhappiness comes from resisting life.
Occasionally, you have such a strong commitment
to changing the world order that it is worth
struggling against the flow of life.
But don't live your life as if each minor happening
were a matter of life and death.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No matter what has happened, you too have the power to enjoy yourself.
- Allen Klein

Don't follow any advice, no matter how good,
until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think
in your mind that the counsel is wise.
- Joan Rivers

I think music in itself is healing.
It's an explosive expression of humanity.
It's something we are all touched by.
No matter what culture we're from, everyone loves music.
- Billy Joel

No matter how carefully you plan your goals they will
never be more that pipe dreams unless you pursue them with gusto.
- W. Clement Stone

Whatever your work and whatever its worth,
No matter how strong or clever,
Some one will sneer if you pause to hear,
And scoff at your best endeavor.
For the target art has a broad expanse,
And wherever you chance to hit it,
Though close be your aim to the bull's-eye fame,
There are those who will never admit it.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

The truth of the matter is that
you always know the right thing to do.
The hard part is doing it.
- Norman Schwarzkoff

It is one thing to say that something should be done,
but quite a different matter to do it.
- Aesop

Never think that war, no matter how necessary,
nor how justified, is not a crime.
- Ernest Hemingway

You have to do your own growing
no matter how tall your grandfather was.
- Abraham Lincoln

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather,
always bring your own sunshine.
- Anthony J. D'Angelo

To whom does design address itself: to the greatest number,
to the specialist of an enlightened matter,
to a privileged social class? Design addresses itself to the need.
- Charles Eames

In choosing joy, the finish line dissolves
into a different matter altogether.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

True justice is not a matter of courts and law books,
but of a commitment in each of us to liberty and mutual respect.
- Jimmy Carter

Often it does not matter so much what we choose,
but that we do choose.
- Alan Cohen

Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
- Mark Twain

Success seems to be largely a matter
of hanging on after others have let go.
- William Feather

I wanted to be with the kind of people I'd grown up with,
but you can't go back to them and be one of them again,
no matter how hard you try.
- Ethel Waters

No matter that patriotism is too often the refuge of scoundrels.
Dissent, rebellion, and all-around hell-raising remain
the true duty of patriots.
- Barbara Ehrenreich

Love is not a matter of counting the years,
but making the years count.
- Michele St. Amand

One's own religion is after all
a matter between oneself
and one's Maker and no one else's.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
- Confucius

Peace is when time doesn't matter as it passes by.
- Maria Schell

It is amazing how much you can accomplish
when it doesn't matter who gets the credit.
- Anonymous

No face which we can give to a matter
will stead us so well at last as the truth.
This alone wears well.
- Henry David Thoreau

I'd like to grow up and be beautiful.
I know it doesn't matter, but it doesn't hurt.
- Kirsten Dunst

Confidence is the most important single factor in this game,
and no matter how great your natural talent,
there is only one way to obtain and sustain it: work.
- Jack Nicklaus

The only questions that really matter are the ones you ask yourself.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Cinema is a matter of what's in the frame and what's out.
- Martin Scorsese

While one finds company in himself and his pursuits,
he cannot feel old, no matter what his years may be.
- Amos Bronson Alcott

Politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
- Charles de Gaulle


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.