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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Today Quotes
Funny Quotes about Today

Let these funny Today Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous

Hang tough... big girl panties today.
- Anonymous humor

Today, I am Sending My Monkey Mind to the Zoo.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

How do you want to be remembered?
Live life full out - Begin today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Any man today who returns from work,
sinks into a chair,
and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.
- Bill Cosby

Today, I Tap Dance Across The Stage of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you want to test your memory, try to recall what
you were worrying about one year ago today.
- E. Joseph Cossman

I Create Today As a Celebration of My Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happy Birthday!
Today is YOUR day to Dance Lightly With Life.
Have a wonderful day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to dance lightly with life,
sing wild songs of adventure,
invite rainbows and butterflies out to play,
soar your spirit, and unfurl your joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
- Anonymous

Today is the bridge between acceptance and faith.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today, I Dance Lightly With Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Yesterday is history,
tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That is why it is called Present.
- Anonymous

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Yesterday is ashes.
Tomorrow is green wood.
Only today does the fire burn brightly.
- Eskimo Proverb

Today, I choose the higher road -
the path of charity, acceptance, love, selflessness, kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to paint life in bold colors;
set today's rhythm with your heart-drum;
walk today's march with courage;
create today as your celebration of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Dance Lightly With Life:
Today is your day to
dance lightly with life,
sing wild songs of adventure,
soar your spirit,
unfurl your joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Those distractions that turn my attention from
what I thought I was going to do today are not "rat holes";
they are Enchanted Rabbit Holes
with a Magical White Bunny awaiting in each.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Find a time and place of solitude.
Look into the distance, and into the future.
Visualize the tomorrow you are going to build -
and begin to build that tomorrow, today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Affirmation:
Today I choose the higher road -
the path of charity, acceptance,
love, selflessness, kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Make Today count. Today - each Today -
is the most important day of your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to Spread Wing and Soar.
Fly Life on Free Wings, and Sing to its Glory.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The importance of history is in it's
educational value for our lives today,
not in regret, resentment, or revenge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is a day to honor other cultures.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Dream as if you'll live forever.
Live as if you'll die today.
- James Dean

Give somebody a gold star - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The Paradox Of Living In The Moment is -
How To Be Happy Today AND Prepare For Tomorrow
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Memory is deceptive because it is colored by today's events.
- Albert Einstein

I was thinking that I might fly today.
Just to disprove all the things you say...
please be careful with me, I'm sensitive,
and I'd like to stay that way.
- Jewel

Choose wisely - then act decisively. Do it today!
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whatever you want in life, start today.
Not tomorrow - today.
Let it be a small beginning - a tiny beginning.
Your happiness depends on starting today - every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Walk Today's March With Courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't Wait!
Start on your dreams, your impulses,
your longings, your special occasions today.
Because this is your moment.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If you want to do it,
Do It - TODAY.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today, I Do What Is Important To Me, First.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It was so cold today that I saw a dog chasing a cat,
and the dog was walking.
- Mickey Rivers

Today, I See Spirit In The Face of Everyone I Meet.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our real problem, then, is not our strength today;
it is rather the vital necessity of action today
to ensure our strength tomorrow.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Today is my day to see in myself the face of god.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is nearly a certainty that some
of your expectations will not be met today -
choose Joy anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Having set a direction, begin - begin today.
Take action - take action every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Free speech is not to be regulated like diseased cattle and impure butter.
The audience that hissed yesterday may applaud today,
even for the same performance.
- William O. Douglas

If somebody invented cigarettes today,
the government would not legalize them.
- Loni Anderson

My husband melted my heart the day he asked me,
"Can I participate in your wonder?"
In whose wonder do you get to participate today?
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Today, I Will Spend Time In Silence.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Yesterday is dead. Tomorrow is a dream.
Today - each today - is where the action is
where all of life occurs.
Today IS your life - your only life.
Life today to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The solution to adult problems tomorrow
depends in large measure upon
how our children grow up today.
- Margaret Mead

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow,
it only saps today of its joy.
- Leo Buscaglia

Dreams are today's answers to tomorrow's questions.
- Edgar Cayce

To live anywhere in the world today and be against
equality because of race or color is like living in
Alaska and being against snow.
- William Faulkner

Today, I Allow Spirit To Carry All My Burdens.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The best preparation for good work tomorrow is to do good work today.
- Elbert Hubbard

Today, I Roar My Courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is difficult to say what is impossible,
for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today
and the reality of tomorrow.
- Robert H. Goddard

Inner peace is a choice -
make that choice today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The man who goes alone can start today;
but he who travels with another
must wait till that other is ready.
- Henry David Thoreau

Looking after my health today gives me a better hope for tomorrow.
- Anne Wilson Schaef

In whose wonder do you get to participate today?
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If you look at the human condition today,
not everyone is well fed, has access to good medical care,
or the physical basics that provide for a healthy and a happy life.
- Ralph Merkle

Today I offer a prayer of forgiveness:
forgive the pettiness of my ingratitude...
the absence of profound thankfulness.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Let Today be a Thanksgiving.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The timeless in you is aware of life's timelessness;
and knows that yesterday is but today's memory
and tomorrow is today's dream.
- Khalil Gibran


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.