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Funny Tie Quotes
Funny Quotes about Tie

Let these funny Tie Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

To reach a port, we must sail -
sail, not tie at anchor - sail, not drift.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt quoting Oliver Wendell Holmes

If a tie is like kissing your sister,
losing is like kissing you grandmother with her teeth out.
- George Brett

When you reach the end of your rope,
tie a knot in it and hang on.
- Thomas Jefferson

When you reach the end of your rope,
tie a knot and hang on.
- Anonymous Saying
(Sometimes attributed to Franklin D. Roosevelt,
Eleanor Roosevelt, or Thomas Jefferson)


 

It will free man from the remaining chains,
the chains of gravity which still tie him to this planet.
- Wernher von Braun

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your
shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
- George Burns

If I were to agree to write the music for your beautiful poem,
it would tie your poem up for some years as I have
agreements and obligations which I must respect.
- Jules Massenet


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I do have a blurred memory of sitting on the stairs
and trying over and over again to tie one of my shoelaces,
but that is all that comes back to me of school itself.
- Roald Dahl

I saw some war heroes...
John Kerry is not a war hero.
He couldn't tie the shoes of some of the people in Coastal Division 11.
- John O'Neill

My music is so often like a lullaby I write to myself
to make sense of things I can't tie together,
or things I've lost, or things I'll never have.
- Stephan Jenkins

Well, TV series tie you up.
You can't do films while you're doing a TV series.
- Noah Hathaway

In the different voice of women lies the truth of an ethic of care,
the tie between relationship and responsibility,
and the origins of aggression in the failure of connection.
- Carol Gilligan

He had a massive stroke.
He died with his tie on.
Do you think that could be our generation's equivalent
of that old saying about dying with your boots on?
- Stephen King

There's a magical tie to the land of our home,
which the heart cannot break, though the footsteps may roam.
- Eliza Cook

Mel is nuts.
He puts on a suit and a tie and acts like a normal
person so people think he's okay.
He's definitely out in left field.
He's got the ambition of a boy.
- Dom DeLuise

When you get to the end of your rope,
tie a knot and hang on.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

What we used to say was whoever had the bow tie got to lead the band.
There was never any jealousy.
- Pete Fountain

I probably was as bad as a security guard as I was as a tie salesman.
- David Hyde Pierce

Families survive, one way or another.
You have a tie, a connection that exists long after death,
through many lifetimes.
- Jessica Lange

Sooner or later we've got to tie the saving of the
natural world to our own public welfare.
- Jim Fowler

Poets don't draw.
They unravel their handwriting and then tie it up again,
but differently.
- Jean Cocteau

I'm of the opinion that life doesn't always tie up
neatly at the end of the episode.
- Joshua Jackson

There has to be a mathematical explanation for how bad that tie is.
- Russell Crowe

If you wanted to torture me, you'd tie me down and
force me to watch our first five videos.
- Jon Bon Jovi

I think things like food, the food of the south is
sort of the common tie that binds us all,
Black and White, the sense memories.
It's a very particular part of the country.
- Sela Ward

If you tie a man's hands there is nothing moral about
his not committing murder.
- Auberon Herbert

When we hold back out of laziness, that is when we
tie ourselves into knots of boredom.
- Walter Annenberg

Acting school was summer camp, and I needed concentration camp.
I had so many different ideas swirling between culture
and how to tie things together.
- Ajay Naidu

I think one of the reasons I'm popular again is because I'm wearing a tie.
You have to be different.
- Tony Bennett

Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds,
and binds.
- Helen Rowland

Wearing a bow tie is a statement.
Almost an act of defiance.
- Rick Kaplan

What's happened - in our country, anyhow -
is that the young people have shied away from the formality of the concert hall,
that tie - and - tails philharmonic image.
- Chuck Mangione

Washington is the only city in the world where you
can go to a black-tie dinner and there at the foot
of the table is a television set up to catch a press conference.
- Hugh Newell Jacobsen

Nobody cares about your wardrobe, what your tie looks like,
or even if you're wearing one, and I don't.
- Bob Edwards

Your views are as narrow as your tie.
- Bernard Herrmann

One can be a brother only in something.
Where there is no tie that binds men,
men are not united but merely lined up.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow.
he told me to wear a brown tie.
- Rodney Dangerfield

I took to wearing a black tie known as the Ascot,
with long drooping ends.
I had seen pictures of painters, sculptors,
poets, wearing this style of tie.
- Carl Sandburg

They know they got the TV ad, they know they got the name recognition,
they know that they can do a tie in with McDonald's
or some fast food outlet and the money is just gonna flow in.
- Gene Siskel

We were equals once when we lay new-born babes on our nurse's knees.
We will be equal again when they tie up our jaws for the last sleep.
- Olive Schreiner

Interest does not tie nations together;
it sometimes separates them.
But sympathy and understanding does unite them.
- Woodrow Wilson

Looking in the mirror to check if my tie is straight is a waste of my time.
I only look in the mirror once a day,
and that's in the morning when I shave.
- Lennart Meri

Friendship, of itself a holy tie, is made more sacred by adversity.
- Charles Caleb Colton

If the workers took a notion they could stop all speeding trains;
every ship upon the ocean they can tie with mighty chains.
- Joe Hill

I like the fact that Jack is always wearing a tie except when he's on a mission.
I do like it when I get out there and dress up,
or dress down, a little bit.
- Victor Garber

A woman may race to get a man a gift but it always ends in a tie.
- Earl Wilson

The suit-and-tie job is very nice but it's not really who I am in my heart.
- Boris Becker

The sight of nature fascinates, the family tie has
a sweet enchantment and patriotism gives the religious
spirit a fiery devotion to the powers that it reveres.
- Bruno Bauer

A quarrel between friends, when made up,
adds a new tie to friendship.
- Saint Francis de Sales

I did not have a van, or wear Birkenstocks and tie-dyes.
- Rachel Zoe

But there is scant evidence to tie Saddam to terrorist organizations,
and even less to the Sept.
11 attacks.
- Brent Scowcroft

Mourning is not forgetting...
It is an undoing.
Every minute tie has to be untied and something permanent
and valuable recovered and assimilated from the dust.
- Margery Allingham

First rule of politics: you can't win unless you're on the ballot.
Second rule: If you run, you may lose.
And, if you tie, you do not win.
- Donald Rumsfeld

Isn't one of your first exercises in learning how to
communicate to write a description of how to tie your
shoelaces? The point being that it's basically impossible
to use text to show that.
- Donald Norman

That is why, no matter how desperate the predicament is,
I am always very much in earnest about clutching my cane,
straightening my derby hat and fixing my tie,
even though I have just landed on my head.
- Charlie Chaplin

It means a lot to you, to be out there.
The highs are pretty high, and the lows are pretty low.
You know, it's easy to feel like you let the team down.
I mean, at the end of the day we still got to figure
out a way to get through the tie.
- Andre Agassi

Families are the tie that reminds us of yesterday,
provide strength and support today, and give us hope for tomorrow.
No government, no matter how well-intentioned,
or well-managed, can provide what our families provide.
- Bill Owens

I set forth a humble and inglorious life;
that does not matter.
You can tie up all moral philosophy with a common and
private life just as well as with a life of richer stuff.
Each man bears the entire form of man's estate.
- Michel de Montaigne

The space industry is developing and delivering benefits
that tie into our immediate needs and priorities here on Earth-for example,
medical and materials research, and satellite communications.
- Marc Garneau

Influence is a very unpleasant subject and I deal with
it in a maybe irresponsible way,
which is to really ignore it.
It would be a nightmare if we started to really think about it;
it would tie our hands,
it would tie everyone else's hands.
- Rem Koolhaas

And so the idea was, well maybe you can take an Atari video game machine,
where people plug in a game cartridge,
and plug in a modem, and tie that into a telephone,
and essentially turn that game in the machine into an interactive terminal.
- Steve Case

Monofilament is what you use to go fishing.
The line on your fishing rod is probably going to be black.
You get to the end of the line and you tie on this clear plastic,
thin thread called monofilament.
- John Badham

If a man dreams that he has committed a sin before
which the sun hid his face,
it is often safe to conjecture that,
in sheer forgetfulness,
he wore a red tie, or brown boots with evening dress.
- Arthur Machen

I began to be impressed by what made a good book-how
you needed to have a sensible story,
a plot that developed, with a beginning,
a middle, and an end that would tie everything together.
- Dorothy Fields

I have asked the village blacksmith to forge golden
chains to tie our ankles together.
I have gathered all the gay ribbons in the world to
wind around and around and around and around and around
and around again around our two waists.
- Harry Crosby

As though there were a tie And obligation to posterity.
We get them, bear them, breed, and nurse:
What has posterity done for us.
That we, lest they their rights should lose,
Should trust our necks to gripe of noose?
- John Trumbull

As human beings we have a tendency when we like something
to tie it up and make sure it's there for a long time.
I've been working on being able to let things go.
I don't think I ever want to buy property again.
- Ricky Williams

All human beings are also dream beings.
Dreaming ties all mankind together.
- Jack Kerouac

Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.
- Thomas Dekker

I created Punk for this day and age.
Do you see Britney walking around wearing ties and singing punk? Hell no.
That's what I do.
I'm like a Sid Vicious for a new generation.
- Avril Lavigne

The making of an American begins at the point where
he himself rejects all other ties,
any other history, and himself adopts the vesture of his adopted land.
- James Baldwin


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