Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Fiat Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
When we talk about democracy, if the people's
stomach is empty, democracy is also empty.
Democracy can not be installed by fiat;
it must be achieved by the people themselves.
- Jimmy Yen
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll
Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
Children, cartoon animals, comedians,
and space aliens can get away with saying
what the rest of us are afraid is true,
but are embarrassed to talk about.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is far too important a thing
ever to talk seriously about.
- Oscar Wilde
Talk doesn't cook rice.
- Chinese Proverb
It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words
but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
I hear many people talk about their longing for a balanced life.
What I think they are really expressing
is a desire for a life with less pressure.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I challenge you to make your life a masterpiece.
I challenge you to join the ranks of those people
who live what they teach, who walk their talk.
- Tony Robbins
Talk not of the river or lake
To those who have looked on the sea.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
If you love it enough, anything will talk with you.
- George Washington Carver
Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense,
and have her nonsense respected.
- Charles Lamb
Children are educated by what the grown-up is
and not by his talk.
- Carl Jung
It isn't enough to talk about peace.
One must believe in it.
And it isn't enough to believe in it.
One must work at it.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Talk not of wasted affection;
affection never was wasted.
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Don't talk about what you have done
or what you are going to do.
- Thomas Jefferson
Little do men perceive what solitude is,
and how far it extendeth.
For a crowd is not company,
and faces are but a gallery of pictures,
and talk but a tinkling cymbal,
where there is no love.
- Francis Bacon
If you talk to a man in a language he understands,
that goes to his head.
If you talk to him in his language,
that goes to his heart.
- Nelson Mandela
I'm always rather nervous about how you talk
about women who are active in politics,
whether they want to be talked about as women or as politicians.
- John F. Kennedy
The best morale exist when you never hear the word mentioned.
When you hear a lot of talk about it, it's usually lousy.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Have a talk with your mind
(it really is something separate from yourself).
Lay down the law.
"My life begins TODAY.
I am like a newborn.
I have what I have today;
I have my fingers, my toes,
some people in my life,
some material and financial state.
Yesterday is only a dream -
perhaps a nightmare,
perhaps a cherished memory,
but only a dream - nothing more.
I will make all decisions and actions based solely
on what I have today as a starting point."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If the present Congress errs in too much talking,
how can it be otherwise in a body to which the people
send one hundred and fifty lawyers,
whose trade it is to question everything,
yield nothing, and talk by the hour?
- Thomas Jefferson
Anything will give up its secrets if you love it enough.
Not only have I found that when I talk to the little flower
or to the little peanut they will give up their secrets,
but I have found that when I silently commune with people
they give up their secrets also - if you love them enough.
- George Washington Carver
I like to talk about a thing I call a "practiced pause."
Just a few moments of pausing allows me
to consider a circumstance and take stock
of what the best direction might be.
Reactions tend to rise from habit and unconsidered action.
A Response is considered and thoughtful.
My actions are my own and I am, singularly,
responsible for what I see, say, feel and exert.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The final lesson a writer learns is that
everything can nourish the writer.
The dictionary, a new word, a voyage, an encounter,
a talk on the street, a book, a phrase learned.
- Anais Nin
Regrets and their cousins, resentments,
are a huge cause of self-inflicted suffering.
Sometimes it takes years of psychotherapy
to gain freedom from regrets about what you did or did not do,
and freedom from resentment over what others did or did not do.
Sometimes it takes a lifetime of self-talk to remember
to put the past in the past where it belongs.
However, sometimes a simple symbolic act can help immeasurably
to grant ourselves freedom from the past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I wanted to be a doctor that I might be able to work
without having to talk
because for years I had been giving myself out in words.
- Albert Schweitzer
Literature is my Utopia. Here I am not disenfranchised.
No barrier of the senses shuts me out from
the sweet, gracious discourses of my book friends.
They talk to me without embarrassment or awkwardness.
- Helen Keller
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
Thank you for visiting: Funny Fiat Quotes - Funny Quotes about Fiat.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.