Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain




Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Shrek Quotes
Funny Quotes by Shrek

Let these funny Shrek Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

Greetings, cosmic children of the universe.
Welcome to my serenity circle.
Please leave all bad vibes outside the healing vortex.
- the movie Shrek the Third (2007)

I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted!
And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried
and smothered in chocolate.
- the movie Shrek 2

It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)


 

Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2

Are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet?
- said by Donkey in the movie Shrek 2

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2

Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent.
What you lack, is the capacity.
- said by Shrek in the movie Shrek 2

Remember, happiness is just a teardrop away.
- the movie Shrek 2

Greetings and death to our enemies.
- Dan Aykroyd

My greetings to you, my Germany.
- Alfred Jodl

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

Fear of death ... That's funny. I have that too.
My dog has it. It's very common with living creatures.
- the movie Anything Else (2003)

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
love leaves a memory no one can steal.
- From a headstone in Ireland PHOTO

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen

I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf

Still, things could be a lot worse.
Oh, that's right... I'm falling to my death. Guess they can't.
- the movie Megamind (2010)

I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death

For those of true faith, death is not a time to mourn,
but a time to celebrate returning to the Creator.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

I got a perfect build for clothes.
I'm a twenty-eight dwarf.
- the movie Love and Death

It is possible to provide security against other ills,
but as far as death is concerned, we men live in a city without walls.
- Epicurus

Love and death are the two great hinges on which all human sympathies turn.
- B. R. Hayden

Even at our birth, death does but stand aside a little.
And every day he looks towards us and muses somewhat
to himself whether that day or the next he will draw nigh.
- Robert Bolt

There is no death, only a change of worlds.
- Chief Seattle

Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do not fear death so much but rather the inadequate life.
- Bertolt Brecht

I've told my children that when I die,
to release balloons in the sky to celebrate that I graduated.
For me, death is a graduation.
- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

O Captain. My Captain. our fearful trip is done.
- Walt Whitman

Birth and death; we all move between these two unknowns.
- Bryant H. McGill

Of all the gods only death does not desire gifts.
- Aeschylus

The death of what's dead is the birth of what's living.
- Arlo Guthrie

Dying is easy, it's living that scares me to death.
- Annie Lennox

Since the day of my birth, my death began its walk.
It is walking toward me, without hurrying.
- Jean Cocteau

For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity.
- William Penn

Pale Death beats equally at the poor man's gate and at the palaces of kings.
- Horace

I had seen birth and death but had thought they were different.
- T. S. Eliot

Death will be a great relief.
No more interviews.
- Katharine Hepburn

Death is a very dull, dreary affair,
and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it.
- W. Somerset Maugham

Those we love don't go away,
They walk beside us every day,
Unseen, unheard, but always near,
Still loved, still missed and very dear.
- Anonymous

Life is better than death, I believe,
if only because it is less boring, and because it has fresh peaches in it.
- Alice Walker

All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful
death than animals that know nothing.
- Maurice Maeterlinck

For me, habit is just a synonym for death.
- Juliette Binoche

Death is the last enemy: once we've got past that I
think everything will be alright.
- Alice Thomas Ellis

Healthy children will not fear life if their elders
have integrity enough not to fear death.
- Erik H. Erikson

I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.
- J. Robert Oppenheimer

And you, Sonja, you look more beautiful
standing here than you do in person.
- the movie Love and Death (1975)

Momma always said dyin' was a part of life.
I sure wish it wasn't.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
- C. S. Lewis

Death's in the good-bye.
- Anne Sexton

He who doesn't fear death dies only once.
- Giovanni Falcone

We cannot banish dangers, but we can banish fears.
We must not demean life by standing in awe of death.
- David Sarnoff

If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death

Death borders upon our birth, and our cradle stands in the grave.
- Joseph Hall

Death is the tyrant of the imagination.
- Barry Cornwall

Grief is a normal and natural response to loss.
It is originally an unlearned feeling process.
Keeping grief inside increases your pain.
- Anne Grant

A man's dying is more his survivor's affair than his own.
- Thomas Mann

Men fear death as children fear to go in the dark;
and as that natural fear in children is increased by tales,
so is the other.
- Francis Bacon

Death most resembles a prophet who is without honor
in his own land or a poet who is a stranger among his people.
- Khalil Gibran

Death is always around the corner, but often our society
gives it inordinate help.
- Carter Burwell

When someone you love dies,
you don't lose them all at once.
You lose them in pieces over time
- the movie Simon Birch


Thank you for visiting: Shrek Quotes - Funny Quotes by Shrek.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sign-up for your free subscription to my Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote email.

Your E-Mail Address:
Your Name:

To confirm your subscription, you must click on a link in the email being sent to you.

Each email contains an unsubscribe link. We will NEVER sell, rent, loan, or abuse your email address in ANY way.


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.