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Let these funny Feint Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Life is a constant opponent,
and an overpowering adversary if attacked directly.
The successful and happy ones dance lightly with life -
a parry here, a feint there - always engaged,
but never in the direct line of life's heaviest blows.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
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The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
Happiness is a figment of the imagination.
Imagine happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
- Erma Bombeck
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous
You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra
In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek
Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller
It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau
Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.