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Funny Ones Quotes
Funny Quotes about Ones

Let these funny Ones Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Curiosity takes courage.
The most important promises are the ones you make to yourself.
Pay Attention.
Appreciate. Listen. Imagine.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

A word to the wise ain't necessary -
it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
- Bill Cosby

The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of
you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns,
then your marriage is a gift from the gods.
- Bill Cosby

I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel


 

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

I cannot pretend to be impartial about the colors.
I rejoice with the brilliant ones, and
am genuinely sorry for the poor browns.
- Winston Churchill

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
- widely misattributed to Mark Twain


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I make it a policy to try never to
make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way.
After all, there's always all kinds of new ways
to make a complete idiot of myself.
Why repeat the old ones?
- Margot Dalton

I've learned that you should always
leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
- Anonymous

Everyone believes that their beliefs are the right ones -
that is why they are called beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My heroes are the ones who survived doing it wrong,
who made mistakes, but recovered from them.
- Bono

The only ones among you who will be really happy
are those who will have sought and found how to serve.
- Albert Schweitzer

Everyone designs who devises courses of action aimed
at changing existing situations into preferred ones.
- Herbert Simon

From far beyond this life,
I hear the call.
From place beyond all place,
I feel the call.
From time before all time,
I know the call.
From one before all ones,
I am the call.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our grandchildren's grandchildren will shake their heads in shame
at some of the beliefs that we hold most dear today -
the question is, which ones?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness.
The only ones who can forgive are dead;
the living have no right to forget.
- Chaim Herzog

It is always better to have no ideas than false ones;
to believe nothing, than to believe what is wrong.
- Thomas Jefferson

Great opportunities to help others seldom come,
but small ones surround us every day.
- Sally Koch

The wise ones fashioned speech with their thought,
sifting it as grain is sifted through a sieve.
- The Buddha

Good-looking individuals are treated better than homely
ones in virtually every social situation,
from dating to trial by jury.
- Martha Beck

My personal goals are to be happy, healthy and to be
surrounded by loved ones.
- Kiana Tom

The successful and happy ones dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I can't understand why people
are frightened by new ideas.
I'm frightened of old ones.
- John Cage

Best friends are the ones who can be the farthest away
but there the fastest when you call.
- Anonymous

Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones,
as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

It is important to expect nothing,
to take every experience,
including the negative ones,
as merely steps on the path,
and to proceed.
- Ram Dass

When men destroy their old gods,
they will find new ones to take their place.
- Pearl S. Buck

I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know:
the only ones among you who will be really happy
are those who will have sought and found how to serve.
- Albert Schweitzer

Home is not a structure, but the place that we feel comfortable -
the place we belong - the place of our loved ones.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People with great gifts are easy to find,
but symmetrical and balanced ones never.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

One thing I know: the only ones among you
who will be really happy are those
who will have sought and found how to serve.
- Albert Schweitzer

In some mysterious way woods have never seemed to me to be static things.
In physical terms, I move through them;
yet in metaphysical ones,
they seem to move through me.
- John Fowles

We all write poems; it is simply that poets are the ones who write in words.
- John Fowles

Home is where our loved ones are.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes.
Art is knowing which ones to keep.
- Scott Adams

Life is a constant opponent,
and an overpowering adversary if attacked directly.
The successful and happy ones dance lightly with life -
a parry here, a feint there - always engaged,
but never in the direct line of life's heaviest blows.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Anyone who doesn't take truth seriously in small matters
cannot be trusted in large ones either.
- Albert Einstein

Laws are spider webs through which the big flies pass
and the little ones get caught.
- Honore de Balzac

Love cures people - both the ones who give it
and the ones who receive it.
- Karl A. Menninger

The only questions that really matter are the ones you ask yourself.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Love begins by taking care of the closest ones -
the ones at home.
- Mother Teresa

I always like to know everything about my new friends,
and nothing about my old ones.
- Oscar Wilde

Ones best success comes after their greatest disappointments.
- Henry Ward Beecher

Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones,
as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire.
- Francois de la Rochefoucauld

The most important promises are
the ones we make to ourselves.
The promises we makes to ourselves
are the things that assure us
we have the capacity
to keep our promises to others.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Well, it seems to me that the best relationships -
the ones that last -
are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship.
You know, one day you look at the person
and you see something more than you did the night before.
Like a switch has been flicked somewhere.
And the person who was just a friend is...
suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.
- Dana Scully

My God, this is a hell of a job. I have no trouble with my enemies.
I can take care of my enemies all right.
But my damn friends, my goddamn friends.
They're the ones that keep me walking the floor at night.
- Warren G. Harding

Our loved ones -
whether by blood, by marriage, or by choice -
are delicate treasures.
If we hold them too close, they break -
as a butterfly would.
By honoring and enjoying
the freedom of our loved ones,
we gain our own freedom.
Have the courage to trust that
the beautiful butterflies of your life
will return - or not - as life intends.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Home is where our loved ones are.
Home is not a structure, but the place that we feel comfortable,
the place we belong - the place of our loved ones.
A palace is not a home without loved ones.
A shack or an open field can be paradise
when shared with a loving family.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Thoughtful people seldom share exactly the same opinion -
the same point-of-view.
The wise ones understand that they know nothing -
for virtually none of our experience is truly factual -
and they graciously honor all other opinions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This unusual and highly successful species spends a
great deal of time examining his higher motives and
an equal amount of time ignoring his fundamental ones.
- Desmond Morris

We can't live without taxes, but we sure would like to have good ones.
- Charles Adams

Whenever you're successful you owe that success to
the people in the community,
because they are the ones buying your product.
- Carl Karcher

Obviously the first roles that you're proud of are
the ones that everybody else liked too.
- Sam Waterston

It makes me believe in fate.
In most cases, the readings where I've been really
bad have usually been the ones where I got the part.
- Robin Wright Penn

I mean, I was always interested in people like Lenny Bruce,
people who are breaking the old rules and making new ones.
- Faye Dunaway

Precepts or maxims are of great weight;
and a few useful ones on hand do more to produce a
happy life than the volumes we can't find.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

For those of us who have lost loved ones in their prime -
as I did when my father and other relatives succumbed -
even one of those years would have been a precious gift.
- Michael Milken

I guess the majority of people who want to ban certain
musicians are the ones who are so proud of everything America stands for.
- Stephen Malkmus

The ones I pity are the ones who never stick out their
neck for something they believe,
never know the taste of moral struggle,
and never have the thrill of victory.
- Jonathan Kozol

The difficulty lies not so much in developing new ideas
as in escaping from old ones.
- John Maynard Keynes

Anyone who wants simple, pat stories should buy another author's product.
The real universe ain't that way, and neither are my fictive ones.
- David Brin

You cannot have companies where many of the largest
ones lose money indefinitely without someone finally waving the white flag,
and IBM is the most recent example of that.
- Kevin Rollins

All good actors are easy to work with.
It's the ones that aren't very good who tend to be very difficult.
- Tom Wilkinson

We must learn which ceremonies may be breached occasionally
at our convenience and which ones may never be if we
are to live pleasantly with our fellow man.
- Amy Vanderbilt

It is a queer thing, but imaginary troubles are harder
to bear than actual ones.
- Dorothy Dix

You can only start a boyband if you kill one of the ones already out there.
- Joel Madden

It's pretty clear to me that working as a director for hire agrees with me.
I like it.
The films that have come out of that,
I personally like better than the ones that didn't.
- Steven Soderbergh

I'm always imagining some sort of story behind the song,
even the ones I haven't written.
I'm actively engaging in playacting.
- Cassandra Wilson

I just don't know what makes a movie catch on and other ones don't.
- Jerry Bruckheimer

The best way to forget ones self is to look at the
world with attention and love.
- Red Auerbach


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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