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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Constant Quotes
Funny Quotes about Constant

Let these funny Constant Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Life is a constant oscillation
between the sharp horns of dilemmas.
- H. L. Mencken

Life is NOT a constant emergency.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Constant development is the law of life,
and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas
in order to appear consistent
drives himself into a false position.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Be slow to fall into friendship;
but when thou art in, continue firm and constant.
- Socrates


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The inherent nature of life is constant change.
To fear change is to fear life itself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Praying without ceasing is not ritualized,
nor are there even words.
It is a constant state of awareness of oneness with God.
- Peace Pilgrim

Constant kindness can accomplish much.
As the sun makes ice melt,
kindness causes misunderstanding,
mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.
- Albert Schweitzer


 

The very nature of the world is constant change.
You set a goal and create a plan to achieve it;
then the assumptions on which you
based your plan change - they always do.
The challenge is to retain your goals
while adapting your tactics.
Relax and stay flexible in order to reach
your goals and maintain your happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If a man does not make new acquaintances
as he advances through life,
he will soon find himself alone.
A man, sir, should keep his friendships in constant repair.
- Samuel Johnson

They must often change,
who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.
- Confucius

Consistent happiness is found through
living in a state of constant gratitude.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a constant opponent,
and an overpowering adversary if attacked directly.
The successful and happy ones dance lightly with life -
a parry here, a feint there - always engaged,
but never in the direct line of life's heaviest blows.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you have an emotional reaction in the presence of someone,
your heart is telling you that you have
not resolved your issues with them.
In other words, you have not truly forgiven that person.
All of this begs the question, how do we forgive?
First, cease lying to yourself and stop telling yourself stories
about why you behave the way you do.
Stop blaming your behavior on other people
and take responsibility for your emotional reactions.
If you could forgive all the people in your life
who have hurt or wounded you
it would be possible to be in control of your behavior
instead of being in reaction to other people all of the time.
Imagine living life without experiencing
a constant emotional roller-coaster of pain, anger, and jealousy!
That would be bliss!
- Sheri Rosenthal

There is no doubt that life can be a bumpy ride.
But so were those roller coasters you loved as a kid.
Savor the adventure.
Find excitement in the uncertainty and the constant change.
Even let a touch of fear add spice to your life -
as you did on that roller coaster.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

"I" is a non-stop storyteller, spinning tales
of the past, the present and the future -
constantly editing, interpreting
and directing this inner movie.
- Josh Baran

We're constantly striving for success, fame and comfort
when all we really need to be happy
is someone or some thing to be enthusiastic about.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The mind constantly chatters.
That chatter winds up being the force
that drives us much of the day in terms of what we do,
what we react to, and how we feel.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

I constantly seek excellence
in all domains that truly matter to me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If a man constantly aspires is he not elevated?
- Henry David Thoreau

We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled.
The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over
and let the beautiful stuff out.
- Ray Bradbury

To be yourself in a world that
is constantly trying to make you something else
is the greatest accomplishment.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When you read God's Word, you must
constantly be saying to yourself,
"It is talking to me, and about me."
- Soren Kierkegaard

Don't think you can attain total awareness and whole enlightenment
without proper discipline and practice. This is egomania.
Appropriate rituals channel your emotions
and life energy toward the light.
Without the discipline to practice them,
you will tumble constantly backward into darkness.
- Lao Tzu

We may not always be aware of it, but we all create
and repeat affirmations constantly.
The problem is, we typically don't pay attention
to exactly what those affirmations are saying.
Often we go through the day giving ourselves
all sorts of contradictory, or even negative messages.
We may project confidence to the world around us,
while our inner dialogue says...
I hope this works.
I am so nervous about this.
I hope I don't blow it.
Affirmations are self fulfilling prophecies.
If we say, This is never going to work
... then chances are excellent it never will.
- John Assaraf

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns

From wine what sudden friendship springs.
- John Gay

The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges

Fathers are biological necessities, but social accidents.
- Margaret Mead

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president,
but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
- John F. Kennedy

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
- Anonymous

A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor

Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

Let parents bequeath to their children
not riches, but the spirit of reverence.
- Plato

Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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