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Funny Heaviest Quotes
Funny Quotes about Heaviest

Let these funny Heaviest Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Life is a constant opponent,
and an overpowering adversary if attacked directly.
The successful and happy ones dance lightly with life -
a parry here, a feint there - always engaged,
but never in the direct line of life's heaviest blows.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother.
- Roe Fulkerson PHOTO

In the final choice, a soldier's pack
is not so heavy as a prisoner's chains.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Feeling important makes one heavy, clumsy and vain.
To be a warrior one needs to be light and fluid.
- Carlos Castaneda


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I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
- 1 John 3:17

Distance does not decide who is your brother and who is not.
- Bono


 

In your brother is The Light.
See him as sinless,
and there can be no fear in you.
- A Course In Miracles

Man lives freely only by his readiness to die, if need be,
at the hands of his brother, never by killing him.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

If you wish to succeed in life,
make perseverance your bosom friend,
experience your wise counselor,
caution your elder brother,
and hope your guardian genius.
- Joseph Addison

If thy brother wrongs thee,
remember not so much his wrong-doing,
but more than ever that he is thy brother.
- Epictetus

A brother is a friend given by Nature.
- Jean Baptiste Legouve

The African is my brother but he is
my younger brother by several centuries.
- Albert Schweitzer

Forgive Your Brother from Your Heart.
- Matthew 18:21-22

Moreover if your brother shall trespass against you,
go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.
- Matthew 18:15

Then came Peter to him, and said,
Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me,
and I forgive him? till seven times?
Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee,
Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
- Matthew 18:21-22

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

I feel the need to express something,
but I don't know what it is I want to express.
- the movie Interiors

Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
- Dan Stanford

The jump is so frightening
between where I am,
and where I want to be.
Because of all I may become,
I will close my eyes and leap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.
- Bill Cosby

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll

When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If you want to make enemies,
try to change something.
- Woodrow Wilson

How do you want to be remembered?
Live life full out - Begin today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry

Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody
who shall make us do what we can.
Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president,
but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
- John F. Kennedy

If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton

If you want to make peace with your enemy,
you have to work with your enemy.
Then he becomes your partner.
- Nelson Mandela

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

If you want to be happy, be.
- Leo Tolstoy

Just because an animal is large, it doesn't mean he doesn't want kindness;
however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Intolerance betrays want of faith in one's cause.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Dream up the world you want to live in. Dream out loud.
- Bono

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

You know you love someone when you know
you want them to be happy,
even if their happiness means
that you are not a part of it.
- Anonymous

We believe whatever we want to believe.
- Demosthenes

Getting old is a fascination thing.
The older you get, the older you want to get.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Those that want friends to open themselves unto
are cannibals of their own hearts.
- Francis Bacon

The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Whatever you want in life, start today.
Not tomorrow - today.
Let it be a small beginning - a tiny beginning.
Your happiness depends on starting today - every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never say goodbye when you still want to try,
never give up when you still feel you can't take it.
Never say you don't love the person anymore
when you can't let go.
- Anonymous

No one is in control of your happiness but you;
therefore, you have the power to change anything
about yourself or your life that you want to change.
- Barbara De Angelis

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.
- Leslie Gore

We only see what we want to see,
and hear what we want to hear
- don Miguel Ruiz

If you want to do it,
Do It - TODAY.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering

Most of us are prisoners of habit,
and don't even notice that we do the same things,
think the same things, want the same things each day -
mostly without conscious thought.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If we want to direct our lives,
we must take control of our consistent actions.
It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives,
but what we do consistently.
- Anthony Robbins

Attention is the ability we have to discriminate
and to focus only on that which we want to perceive.
- don Miguel Ruiz


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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