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Let these funny Establish Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Have your new year's resolutions been a new beginning for you
or have they just been different words on the same old beginning?
Maybe now's the time to establish
a new pattern of viewing your life fresh.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams,
and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined,
he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary;
new, universal, and more liberal laws
will begin to establish themselves around and within him;
or the old laws be expanded, and interpreted in his favor
in a more liberal sense,
and he will live with the license of a higher order of beings.
- Henry David Thoreau
It is dangerous to be right in matters
on which the established authorities are wrong.
- Voltaire
The Spirit is described in the Holy Scriptures
as much more anarchic than any established religion credits.
- Bono
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To kill an error is as good a service as,
and sometimes even better than,
the establishing of a new truth or fact.
- Charles Darwin
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes
can be settled by using force,
then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization
and our best hope of establishing a world order.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice
and when they fail in this purpose
they become the dangerously structured dams
that block the flow of social progress.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket
If you're going to tell people the truth,
be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder
Join the army. Visit strange and exotic places.
Meet fascinating people. And kill them.
- Anonymous
The possession of knowledge does not
kill the sense of wonder and mystery.
There is always more mystery.
- Anais Nin
When you have to kill a man,
it costs nothing to be polite.
- Winston Churchill
The squirrel that you kill in jest, dies in earnest.
- Henry David Thoreau
Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch
As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.
- Henry David Thoreau
A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails,
and then asks you not to kill him.
- Winston Churchill
If anyone is crazy enough to want to kill
a president of the United States, he can do it.
All he must be prepared to do is give his life for the president's.
- John F. Kennedy
What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Domestic policy can only defeat us; foreign policy can kill us.
- John F. Kennedy
The ugliest word in the world is revenge.
It spells hate; it spells fear; it spells greed.
For my loss, I must kill; I must steal - must avenge.
It's your fault; you must pay; you must bleed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am prepared to die, but there is no cause
for which I am prepared to kill.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Remain in wonder if you want the mysteries to open up for you.
Mysteries never open up for those who go on questioning.
Questioners sooner or later end up in a library.
Questioners sooner or later end up with scriptures,
because scriptures are full of answers.
And answers are dangerous, they kill your wonder.
- Osho
Each of us holds a different image of God.
There are as many perspectives on
the nature of God as there are people.
However much any of us may choose to argue,
or to fight and kill, for our point of view,
the nature of God is an unanswerable question.
Perhaps there is a specific answer,
that we will never learn - in this lifetime.
Perhaps the nature of God is so complex and multifaceted
that each view of God describes an aspect of the complex whole.
Or perhaps the nature of God is actually defined by our beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
After fifteen minutes I wanted to marry her,
and after half an hour
I completely gave up the idea of stealing her purse.
- the movie Take the Money and Run (1969)
I have often wanted to drown my troubles,
but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Anonymous
Even the rich are hungry for love,
for being cared for, for being wanted,
for having someone to call their own.
- Mother Teresa
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand.
"I just wanted to be sure of you."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
In all our contacts, it is probably the sense
of being really needed and wanted
which gives us the greatest satisfaction
and creates the most lasting bond.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Sometimes you get the results you wanted,
sometimes you don't.
What matters is that you did your best.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is the right day to do
what you have long wanted to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Some people wanted champagne and caviar
when they should have had beer and hot dogs.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
In my prayers I never said I needed a home.
I said I wanted a sanctuary.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
A somebody was once a nobody who wanted to and did.
- John Burroughs
I wanted to know the name of every stone
and flower and insect and bird and beast.
I wanted to know where it got its color, where it got its life -
but there was no one to tell me.
- George Washington Carver
I wanted to be a doctor that I might be able to work
without having to talk
because for years I had been giving myself out in words.
- Albert Schweitzer
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
- Emo Phillips
Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson
A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb
A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou
The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn
This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard
The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung
The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau
The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau
The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez
The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.