Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Funny New Quotes
Funny Quotes about New

Let these funny New Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln

I was so jazzed about sobering up
and starting a new life;
I had to stop at a bar
to get a drink just to calm down.
- the television series Glee

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide


 

A person who never made a mistake
never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein

Beware of all enterprises that require a new set of clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

New York City is a great monument
to the power of money and greed...
a race for rent.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream.
I'll be out in a minute.
- the Woody Allen movie What's New Pussycat

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

Society is always taken by surprise
at any new example of common sense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot

A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous

You are never too old to set another goal
or to dream a new dream.
- C. S. Lewis

Another Sunrise, Another New Beginning.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Try a new perspective on diversity.
Across the country and around the world,
we are all one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Celebrate endings - for they precede new beginnings.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.
- Joseph Campbell

Often, the greatest joy is to be found not in new things,
but in old things seen through new eyes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Move out of your comfort zone. You can only
grow if you are willing to feel awkward and
uncomfortable when you try something new.
- Brian Tracy

I make it a policy to try never to
make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way.
After all, there's always all kinds of new ways
to make a complete idiot of myself.
Why repeat the old ones?
- Margot Dalton

Incite a riot of new ideas.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
- Carl Bard

In order to discover new lands,
one must be willing to lose sight
of the shore for a very long time.
- Anonymous

Nay, be a Columbus to whole new
continents and worlds within you,
opening new channels, not of trade, but of thought.
- Henry David Thoreau

A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth (John 13:34)

What old people say you cannot do,
you try and find that you can.
Old deeds for old people, and new deeds for new.
- Henry David Thoreau

Be a Columbus to whole new continents and worlds within you,
opening new channels, not of trade, but of thought.
- Henry David Thoreau

Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process,
gradually changing opinions,
slowly eroding old barriers,
quietly building new structures.
- John F. Kennedy

A ship in port is safe,
but that's not what ships are built for.
Sail out to sea and do new things.
- Grace Hopper

You cannot discover new oceans unless
you have the courage to lose site of the shore.
- Anonymous

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people stay for awhile,
and move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to a new understanding,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same.
- Flavia Weedn

Give me your tired, your poor,
your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.
- written on the Statue of Liberty in New York harbor

Every generation laughs at the old fashions,
but follows religiously the new.
- Henry David Thoreau

Falling out of love is very enlightening.
For a short while you see the world with new eyes.
- Iris Murdoch

Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches,
letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights.
- Pauline R. Kezer

Old deeds for old people, and new deeds for new.
- Henry David Thoreau

Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The human mind treats a new idea the way the body
treats a strange protein; it rejects it.
- Peter Medawar

Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea,
never regains its original dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Let every day be the first day
of the rest of your life,
but especially let today be a new beginning.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I create a new and more loving story
to surround each event in my past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving
for my friends, the old and the new.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson

A new friend is like new wine;
when it has aged you will drink it with pleasure.
- Ecclesiastes 9:10

I say beware of all enterprises that require new clothes,
and not rather a new wearer of clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

Thy Return is as another Sun to Heaven;
a new Rose blooming in the Garden of the Soul.
- Omar Khayyam

I am a deeply religious nonbeliever -
this is a somewhat new kind of religion.
- Albert Einstein

Fourscore and seven years ago
our fathers brought forth on this continent,
a new nation, conceived in Liberty,
and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
- Abraham Lincoln

Sometimes new love comes between old friends.
Sometimes the best love was the one that was always there.
- Anonymous

Children are natural Zen masters;
their world is brand new in each and every moment.
- John Bradshaw

I can't understand why people
are frightened by new ideas.
I'm frightened of old ones.
- John Cage

Look closely... See with new eyes...
Don't just pass by what is familiar without a thought.
Pay attention and look closely.
There is beauty - there is discovery -
there in a whole new world hiding
beneath the face of the familiar.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Questioning cultural norms opens new vistas of happiness and purpose.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labor.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.
- Og Mandino

Consider a new beginning with your family -
choose to take them less seriously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are all one whether we dine on corned beef in New York City,
black-eyed peas and cornbread in rural Louisiana,
or roast guinea pig in Peru.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I get bored very easily, ...
I have a voracious appetite and I do not feel alive
if I'm repeating something I'm good at.
So I'm always looking for new challenges.
- Jewel

We should distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

Dying is a wild night and a new road.
- Emily Dickinson

In the new economy, information, education,
and motivation are everything.
- William J. Clinton

When men destroy their old gods,
they will find new ones to take their place.
- Pearl S. Buck

It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
- the Woody Allen movie Manhattan (1979)

Put some distance between yourself
and whatever is concerning you.
Distance in space or time
always creates a new perspective.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We keep moving forward, opening new doors,
and doing new things, because we're curious
and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.
- Walt Disney

The majority of men meet with failure
because of their lack of persistence
in creating new plans to take
the place of those which fail.
- Napoleon Hill

If a man does not make new acquaintances
as he advances through life,
he will soon find himself alone.
A man, sir, should keep his friendships in constant repair.
- Samuel Johnson


Thank you for visiting: Funny New Quotes - Funny Quotes about New.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.