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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Now Quotes
Funny Quotes about Now

Let these funny Now Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I
should have been more specific.
- Lily Tomlin

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous


 

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty.
She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
- Ellen DeGeneres

I never expected to see the day when girls would get
sunburned in the places they now do.
- Will Rogers

We have only this moment,
sparkling like a star in our hand -
and melting like a snowflake.
- Marie B. Ray


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All you need is love.
But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
- Charles M. Schulz

Old is always fifteen years from now.
- Bill Cosby

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

In those days he was wiser than he is now;
he used to frequently take my advice.
- Winston Churchill

Why wait until you're dead,
when you can create your own Hell right here and now.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is now.
There was never a time when your life was not now,
nor will there ever be.
- Eckhart Tolle

If you aren't in the moment,
you are either looking forward to uncertainty,
or back to pain and regret.
- Jim Carrey

My father always told me that
all businessmen were sons of bitches,
but I never believed it till now.
- John F. Kennedy

Today is the bridge between acceptance and faith.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage:
the wife is in charge.
- Bill Cosby

Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

Hero needed - apply now -
open minded independent thinker -
courage preferred.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, Begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it, Begin it now.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Make Today count. Today - each Today -
is the most important day of your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

With the past, I have nothing to do;
nor with the future. I live now.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

This moment! - this here-now - is forgotten
when you start thinking in terms of achieving something.
When the achieving mind arises,
you lose contact with the paradise you are in.
- Osho

If you want to do it,
Do It - TODAY.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The Paradox Of Living In The Moment is -
How To Be Happy Today AND Prepare For Tomorrow
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Poets have said that the reason to have children is
to give yourself immortality.
Immortality? Now that I have five children,
my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.
- Bill Cosby

Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
- widely misattributed to Mark Twain

It is a mark of soulfulness to be present in the here and now.
When we are present, we are not fabricating inner movies.
We are seeing what is before us.
- John Bradshaw

Could you risk believing that everything
will unfold just fine if you completely let go
of all concern about everything else,
and simply are here, now - if only for a moment?
- Dmitri Bilgere

If we are not happy and joyous at this season,
for what other season shall we wait and
for what other time shall we look?
- Abdul-Baha

There is only one time that is important - NOW!
It is the most important time because
it is the only time that we have any power.
- Leo Tolstoy

When we come into the present,
we begin to feel the life around us again,
but we also encounter whatever we have been avoiding.
We must have the courage to face whatever is present -
our pain, our desires, our grief,
our loss, our secret hopes our love -
everything that moves us most deeply.
- Jack Kornfield

Let every day be the first day
of the rest of your life,
but especially let today be a new beginning.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do not dwell in the past,
do not dream of the future,
concentrate the mind on the present moment.
- The Buddha

Training yourself to live in the present -
without regretting the past or fearing the future -
is a recipe for a happy life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Make it a rule of life never to regret
and never to look back.
- Katherine Mansfield

Only put off until tomorrow
what you are willing to die having left undone.
- Pablo Picasso

Be here now.
- Ram Dass

Yesterday is history,
tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That is why it is called Present.
- Anonymous

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
- Carl Bard

It is only when we truly know and understand
that we have a limited time on earth
and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up
that we will begin to live each day to the fullest,
as if it were the only one we had.
- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

The past is no more and the future is not yet.
The only right person is one who lives moment to moment,
whose arrow is directed to the moment,
who is always here and now; wherever he is,
his whole consciousness, his whole being,
is involved in the reality of here and in the reality of now.
- Osho

Gain happiness by living in the present -
without regret for the past or fear of the future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Those who have come here to hate should leave now;
for in their hate, they only betray themselves.
- Terry Goodkind

Yesterday is ashes.
Tomorrow is green wood.
Only today does the fire burn brightly.
- Eskimo Proverb

Be happy for this moment.
This moment is your life.
- Anonymous

Stop wishing and fearing the future
long enough to be fully present in TODAY.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Take Action - Now.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood.
Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.
- Marie Curie

Do not save your loving speeches
For your friends till they are dead;
Do not write them on their tombstones,
Speak them rather now instead.
- Anna Cummins

Okay, so it's a matter of life and death - now are you happy?
Urgency is never a path to joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do it Now!
- Napoleon Hill

If not us, who, if not now, when?
- Anonymous

Formula to live your dream:
1. Be bold. 2. Begin now, 3. No exceptions.
- William James

The heart knows nothing of the past,
nothing of the future;
it knows only of the present.
- Osho

I live in the moment, and I live joyfully.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Stay in the moment and all gifts are added
as you breathe and take inspired action.
- Joe Vitale

The secret of health for both mind and body
is not to mourn for the past,
nor to worry about the future,
but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.
- The Buddha

In rivers, the water that you touch
is the last of what has passed
and the first of that which comes;
so with present time.
- Leonardo da Vinci

The past has no power over the present moment.
- Eckhart Tolle

One of the illusions of life is that the present hour
is not the critical, decisive hour.
Write it on your heart that
every day is the best day in the year.
No man has learned anything rightly,
until he knows that every day is Doomsday.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let us not look back in anger
or forward in fear,
but around in awareness.
- James Thurber

Falling in love you remain a child; rising in love you mature.
By and by love becomes not a relationship,
it becomes a state of your being.
Not that you are in love - now you are love.
- Osho

If cats were double the size they are now,
they'd probably be illegal.
- Doug Coupland

Two little words that can make the difference: START NOW.
- Mary C. Crowley

I never diet.
I smoke.
I drink now and then.
I never work out.
- Naomi Campbell

The surprising thing about fatherhood was finding my inner mush.
Now I want to share it with the world.
- Christopher Meloni

There was a time when a fool and his money were soon parted,
but now it happens to everybody.
- Adlai E. Stevenson

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.