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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Else Quotes
Funny Quotes about Else

Let these funny Else Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.
- The Buddha

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
- Joe E. Lewis

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.
- David Letterman

The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake.
- the movie The Little Mermaid (1989)


 

If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra

Always remember that you are absolutely unique.
Just like everyone else.
- Margaret Mead

The most difficult thing in the world
is to know how to do a thing
and to watch somebody else doing it wrong,
without comment.
- Theodore. H. White


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There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West

The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older,
I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.
- Bill Cosby

Trust your own instinct.
Your mistakes might as well be your own,
instead of someone else's.
- Billy Wilder

Fear of death ... That's funny. I have that too.
My dog has it. It's very common with living creatures.
- the movie Anything Else (2003)

Thinking is what most people resort to after all else fails.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland

A man who doesn't trust himself
can never really trust anyone else.
- Cardinal De Retz

Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

When you follow your bliss,
doors will open for you
that wouldn't have opened for anyone else.
- Joseph Campbell

If anyone is unhappy, remember that
his unhappiness is his own fault...
Nothing else is the cause of anxiety or loss of tranquility
except our own opinion.
- Epictetus

So divinely is the world organized that every one of us,
in our place and time, is in balance with everything else.
- Adam Acone

No one can avoid aging, but aging productively is something else.
- Katharine Graham

All the people like us are we, and everyone else is They.
- Rudyard Kipling

Every loving thought is true.
Everything else is an appeal for healing and help,
regardless of the form it takes.
- A Course In Miracles

I'm having a bad day. I am not size six.
My legs are not skinny as sticks,
and dammit, someone's got to pay.
I'm afraid that I can't satisfy myself
and that my happiness depends on someone else.
I feel weak, so you're gonna take the fall.
You're so shallow.
- Jewel

An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.
- Will Rogers

I don't want to play golf.
When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.
- Rogers Hornsby

When everything else physical and mental seems to diminish,
the appreciation of beauty is on the increase.
- Bernard Berenson

When bad men combine, the good must associate;
else they will fall one by one,
an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle.
- Edmund Burke

Faith is much better than belief.
Belief is when someone else does the thinking.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

To beat the market you'll have to invest serious bucks
to dig up information no one else has yet.
- Merton Miller

Unless we keep this planet healthy, everything else is for naught.
- Victoria Principal

Some single mind must be master,
else there will be no agreement in anything.
- Abraham Lincoln

A poet is, before anything else, a person who is passionately in love with language.
- W. H. Auden

You can always count on Americans to do the right thing -
after they've tried everything else.
- Winston Churchill

If a man does his best, what else is there?
- George S. Patton

For everything you have missed,
you have gained something else.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am an optimist.
It does not seem too much use being anything else.
- Winston Churchill

Embrace your uniqueness.
Time is much too short to be
living someone else's life.
- Kobi Yamada

The secret of business is to know something that nobody else knows.
- Aristotle Onassis

Do not quit!
Hundreds of times I have watched people throw in the
towel at the one-yard line while someone else comes
along and makes a fortune by just going that extra yard.
- E. Joseph Cossman

When you follow your bliss... doors will open
where you would not have thought there would be doors,
and where there wouldn't be a door for anyone else.
- Joseph Campbell

To be yourself in a world that
is constantly trying to make you something else
is the greatest accomplishment.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Truth is handsomer than the affectation of love.
Your goodness must have some edge to it, else it is none.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If we screw it up, start over. Try something else.
- Lee Iacocca

Treat your password like your toothbrush.
Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months.
- Clifford Stoll

People that seem so glorious are all show;
underneath they are like everyone else.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today, walking the beach, I was reminded of the bounty
of the earth in the form of wild blackberries -
a free feast, with no one else bothering to partake.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Once you respect yourself, there is no longer
any reason to disrespect anyone else.
Once you are confident of your own worthiness,
the worthiness of others ceases to be an issue.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We were given:
Two hands to hold.
Two legs to walk.
Two eyes to see.
Two ears to listen.
But why only one heart?
Because the other was given to someone else.
For us to find.
- Anonymous

Friendship with one's self is all important,
because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Leaders aren't born they are made.
And they are made just like anything else, through hard work.
And that's the price we'll have to pay
to achieve that goal, or any goal.
- Vince Lombardi

A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin;
what else does a man need to be happy?
- Albert Einstein

There is only one boss.
The customer.
And he can fire everybody in the company from the chairman on down,
simply by spending his money somewhere else.
- Sam Walton

A man can fail many times,
but he isn't a failure until
he begins to blame somebody else.
- John Burroughs

If you don't design your own life plan,
chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan.
And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.
- Jim Rohn

Humanity is never so beautiful as when praying for forgiveness,
or else forgiving another.
- Jean Paul

There's a point... when you have to choose
whether to be like everybody else the rest of your life,
or to make a virtue of your peculiarities.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations.
There is more logic in humor than in anything else.
Because, you see, humor is truth.
- Victor Borge

I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen:
not only because I see it,
but because by it I see everything else.
- C. S. Lewis

Here's kind of my motto - if you're not happy at home,
you're not happy anywhere else.
- Angie Harmon

A poem is true if it hangs together.
Information points to something else.
A poem points to nothing but itself.
- E. M. Forster

Every piece of software written today is likely going
to infringe on someone else's patent.
- Miguel de Icaza

Time, whose tooth gnaws away everything else,
is powerless against truth.
- Thomas Huxley

You have to learn the rules of the game.
And then you have to play better than anyone else.
- Albert Einstein

Music is nothing else but wild sounds civilized into time and tune.
- Thomas Fuller

Architecture tends to consume everything else,
it has become one's entire life.
- Arne Jacobsen

The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent on it,
can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing
else in the universe to do.
- Galileo Galilei

Old age is like everything else.
To make a success of it, you've got to start young.
- Theodore Roosevelt

Nothing is work unless you'd rather be doing something else.
- George Halas

Love is an endless mystery,
for it has nothing else to explain it.
- Rabindranath Tagore

If I had learned education I would not have had time to learn anything else.
- Cornelius Vanderbilt


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.