Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Judy Garland Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland
If I am a legend, then why am I so lonely?
- Judy Garland
For it was not into my ear you whispered,
but into my heart.
It was not my lips you kissed,
but my soul.
- Judy Garland
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain 
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
If he's first class, I'm traveling steerage.
- the movie Libeled Lady (1936)
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi
I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
Those who have free seats at a play hiss first.
- Chinese Proverb
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Get the facts first.
You can distort them later.
- Mark Twain
Getting fired is nature's way to telling you
that you had the wrong job in the first place.
- Hal Lancaster
Life is uncertain; always eat dessert first.
- Anonymous
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields
After the first blush of sin, comes its indifference.
- Henry David Thoreau
There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer
Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
- W. C. Fields
All things at first appear difficult.
- Chinese proverb
Apathy, indifference, not caring...
It may sound insensitive for me to say, "I don't care,"
but ask first to what I am indifferent.
I choose to be caring, compassionate
and kind toward all people,
and I also choose to be indifferent to gossip,
petty complaints, and idle chatter.
About those, I just don't care.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
- Anonymous
To climb steep hills requires a slow pace at first.
- William Shakespeare
When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off.
- LtG. Hal Moore
Faith is taking the first step,
even when you don't see the whole staircase.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Seek first to understand,
then to be understood.
- Stephen Covey
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you,
then they fight you, then you win.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
During the first period of a man's life
the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
BERLIN: PROCLAMATION TO THE GERMAN NATION FEBRUARY 1, 1933
The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and co-operation.
It will preserve and defend those basic principles
on which our nation has been built.
It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality,
and the family as the basis of national life....
- Adolf Hitler
Lovers who have been left, lose confidence and become afraid.
They learn to leave relationships first.
The broken hearted become the heart breakers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Experience is a hard teacher.
She gives the test first
and the lessons afterwards.
- Anonymous
Take a deep breath and do the difficult thing first.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The first quality that is needed is audacity.
- Winston Churchill
Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid
The first step in the evolution of ethics
is a sense of solidarity with other human beings.
- Albert Schweitzer
You have a row of dominoes set up;
you knock over the first one,
and what will happen to the last one
is that it will go over very quickly.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Look at everything as though you were seeing it
either for the first or last time.
Then your time on earth will be filled with glory.
- Betty Smith
Non-violence is the first article of my faith.
It is also the last article of my creed.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Know first that you have absolutely no power to change the world,
and then address all your energies and intent toward improving it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do not say, "It is morning,"
and dismiss it with a name of yesterday.
See it for the first time
as a newborn child that has no name.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities...
because it is the quality which guarantees all others.
- Winston Churchill
It is usually the imagination that is wounded first,
rather than the heart; it being much more sensitive.
- Henry David Thoreau
If at first you don't succeed, try try again.
- Proverb
Every really new idea looks crazy at first.
- Alfred North Whitehead
The first wealth is health.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Whatever America hopes to bring to pass in the world
must first come to pass in the heart of America.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
You grow up the day you have
your first real laugh - at yourself.
- Ethel Barrymore
A little simplification would be
the first step toward rational living.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The awareness that health is dependent
upon habits that we control
makes us the first generation in history
that to a large extent determines its own destiny.
- Jimmy Carter
My reaction to porno films is as follows; After the first ten minutes,
I want to go home and screw; After the first twenty minutes,
I never want to screw again as long as I live
- Erica Jong
In order to succeed, you must first be willing to fail.
- Anonymous
Nothing happens unless first a dream.
- Carl Sandburg
Thanks to television, for the first time
the young are seeing history made
before it is censored by their elders.
- Margaret Mead
Be gentle first with yourself -
if you wish to be gentle with others.
- Lama Yeshe
Give me six hours to chop down a tree
and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.
- Abraham Lincoln
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
The secret of getting started is
breaking your complex overwhelming tasks
into small manageable tasks,
and starting on the first one.
- Mark Twain
The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction,
is the first and only object of good government.
- Thomas Jefferson
In rivers, the water that you touch
is the last of what has passed
and the first of that which comes;
so with present time.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Thank you for visiting: Judy Garland Quotes - Funny Quotes by Judy Garland.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.