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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Rate Quotes
Funny Quotes about Rate

Let these funny Rate Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland

Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer

The speed of the leader determines the rate of the pack.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Breaking up is a natural evolution
when you try to figure out what you want in life.
If you're with an individual
who isn't moving in the same direction
and at the same rate that you are,
it ain't going to work.
- Usher Raymond


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Beliefs have evolved based on survival value.
Certain belief systems have been more conducive than others
to people living long enough to reproduce,
and having a high rate of reproduction.
It's that basic.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Man tends to increase at a greater rate
than his means of subsistence.
- Charles Darwin

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective


 

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down
rat holes with baited breath.
- W. C. Fields

Those distractions that turn my attention from
what I thought I was going to do today are not "rat holes";
they are Enchanted Rabbit Holes
with a Magical White Bunny awaiting in each.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr

Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
- Mark Twain

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second hand,
and without examination
- Mark Twain

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston

Always do the right thing.
It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain

Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams

These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert,
to fleece the people.
- Abraham Lincoln

If you're going to tell people the truth,
be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder

People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow

Join the army. Visit strange and exotic places.
Meet fascinating people. And kill them.
- Anonymous

People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.
- Benjamin Franklin

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people
by the people for the people.
- Oscar Wilde

Unless they share our opinions,
we seldom find people sensible.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

People living their lives for you on TV;
They say they're better than you, and you agree.
- Jewel

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw

I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.
- Albert Schweitzer

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White

An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
- Don Marquis

The whole problem with the world is that
fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves,
but wiser people so full of doubts.
- Bertrand Russell

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous

Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
- Anonymous

The most important service rendered
by the press and the magazines
is that of educating people
to approach printed matter with distrust.
- Samuel Butler

I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
- Charles M. Schulz

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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