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Funny Well Quotes
Funny Quotes about Well

Let these funny Well Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Trust your own inner guidance.
Have faith that your steps are
carrying you toward your dreams.
Keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well,
no, I was an accountant.
- Ellen DeGeneres

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
- Joe E. Lewis


 

Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things,
and I have succeeded fairly well.
- Robert Benchley

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain


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The length of this document defends it well
against the risk of its being read.
- Winston Churchill

You may as well laugh at life,
because it's certainly laughing at you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous

Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau

Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What would be the use of immortality to a person
who cannot use well a half an hour.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Trust your own instinct.
Your mistakes might as well be your own,
instead of someone else's.
- Billy Wilder

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

A well-developed sense of humor
is the pole that adds balance to your steps,
as you walk the tightrope of life.
- William Arthur Ward

Treat the earth well.
It was not given to you by your parents,
it was loaned to you by your children.
We do not inherit the Earth from our Ancestors,
we borrow it from our Children.
- Native American traditional

Hold on... Joyfully.
Holding-on does not have to be
a desperate teeth-gritting kind of holding-on.
Holding-on can be a joyful
"this is just the nature of Life,
so I may as well enjoy it"
kind of holding-on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Imagine for yourself a character,
a model personality whose example you determine to follow,
in private as well as in public.
- Epictetus

Being angry harms your physical,
emotional, and spiritual well-being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a dangerous - ultimately fatal - endeavor,
so you may as well live it full out.
Chart your course, cast off the lines,
and boldly sail the seas of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never trust a man who speaks well of everybody
- John Churton Collins

Whatever your life's work is, do it well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

Well-behaved women seldom make history.
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Live Well, Love Much, Laugh Often.
- Anonymous

The simplification of life is one of the steps to inner peace.
A persistent simplification will create an inner and outer well-being
that places harmony in one's life.
- Peace Pilgrim

Hatred is blind, as well as love.
- Oscar Wilde

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I said to my friends that if I was going to starve,
I might as well starve where the food is good.
- Virgil Thomson

For a people who are free, and who mean to remain so,
a well-organized and armed militia is their best security.
- Thomas Jefferson

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? The mother.
- Claudette Colbert

You are defined by your habits - choose well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Resistance to the organized mass can be effected only
by the man who is as well organized
in his individuality as the mass itself.
- Carl Jung

Learn to do common things uncommonly well;
we must always keep in mind that anything
that helps fill the dinner pail is valuable.
- George Washington Carver

He's my friend that speaks well of me behind my back.
- Thomas Fuller

Treat the earth well,
It was not given to you by your parents,
It was loaned to you by your children.
- Native American Proverb

A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I know a lot of people think I'm dumb.
Well, at least I ain't no educated fool.
- Leon Spinks

The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing,
we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger,
but jump in and scramble through as well as we can.
- Robert Cushing

Whatever your life's work is, do it well.
A man should do his job so well that the living,
the dead, and the unborn could do it no better.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Well done is better than well said.
- Benjamin Franklin

A well-spent day brings happy sleep.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Maybe a person's time would be as well spent raising
food as raising money to buy food.
- Frank Howard Clark

Adopting a new healthier lifestyle can involve changing
diet to include more fresh fruit and vegetables as
well as increasing levels of exercise.
- Linford Christie

If we spend the time we waste in sighing
for the perfect golden fruit
in fulfilling the conditions of its growth,
happiness will come, must come.
It is guaranteed in the very laws of the universe.
If it involves some chastening and renunciation, well,
the fruit will be all the sweeter for this touch of holiness.
- Helen Keller

It is not enough to have a good mind,
the main thing is to use it well.
- Rene Descartes

Violence, even well intentioned,
always rebounds upon oneself.
- Lao Tzu

As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used,
and have failed repeatedly, in real applications.
- Dave Parnas

The reward of a thing well done, is to have done it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Patriotism consists not in waving the flag,
but in striving that our country shall be righteous as well as strong.
- James Bryce

Your point of view sets you up well in advance
for how you view the events as they unfold.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

John Candy knew he was going to die.
He told me on his 40th birthday.
He said, well, Maureen, I'm on borrowed time.
- Maureen O'Hara

If there is anything that a man can do well,
I say let him do it. Give him a chance.
- Abraham Lincoln

We are not to give credit to the many,
who say that none ought to be educated but the free;
but rather to the philosophers,
who say that the well-educated alone are free.
- Epictetus

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at
seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.
- Jean Kerr

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement.
But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr

No man who is occupied in doing a very difficult thing,
and doing it very well, ever loses his self-respect.
- George Bernard Shaw

The well-being and welfare of children should always be our focus.
- Todd Tiahrt

Whenever the people are well-informed,
they can be trusted with their own government.
- Thomas Jefferson

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows,
cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.
- Cleveland Amory

What is once well done is done forever.
- Henry David Thoreau

It is well to remember that the
entire population of the universe,
with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
- Andrew J. Holmes

The forces that are driving mankind toward unity and
peace are deep-seated and powerful.
They are material and natural, as well as moral and intellectual.
- Arthur Henderson

It is better to have a fair intellect that is well
used than a powerful one that is idle.
- Bryant H. McGill

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
- Dave Barry

People often say that motivation doesn't last.
Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.
- Zig Ziglar

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet -
so we bought a dog.
Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
- Rita Rudner


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.