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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Somebody Quotes
Funny Quotes about Somebody

Let these funny Somebody Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland

I have six locks on my door all in a row.
When I go out, I lock every other one.
I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks,
they are always locking three.
- Elayne Boosler

The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake.
- the movie The Little Mermaid (1989)

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I
should have been more specific.
- Lily Tomlin


 

The most difficult thing in the world
is to know how to do a thing
and to watch somebody else doing it wrong,
without comment.
- Theodore. H. White

If you can't annoy somebody with what you write,
I think there's little point in writing.
- Kingsley Amis

Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody
who shall make us do what we can.
Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


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Immortality is a long shot, I admit.
But somebody has to be first.
- Bill Cosby

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West

Give somebody a gold star - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The person who you're with most in life is yourself
and if you don't like yourself,
you're always with somebody you don't like.
- Marc S. Lewis

How absurd and delicious it is to be in love with somebody younger than yourself.
Everybody should try it.
- Barbara Pym

Love is what you've been through with somebody.
- James Thurber

About the time we can make the ends meet,
somebody moves the ends.
- Herbert Hoover

A somebody was once a nobody who wanted to and did.
- John Burroughs

Make yourself necessary to somebody.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every known fact in natural science was divined
by the presentiment of somebody,
before it was actually verified.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

To think that the new economy is over is like somebody
in London in 1830 saying the entire industrial revolution
is over because some textile manufacturers in Manchester went broke.
- Alvin Toffler

I would never have done what I'd done if I'd considered
my father as somebody I wanted to please.
- Robert Mapplethorpe

Somebody hits me, I'm going to hit him back.
Even if it does look like he hasn't eaten in a while.
- Charles Barkley

The fastest way to succeed is to look as if you're
playing by somebody else's rules,
while quietly playing by your own.
- Michael Korda

When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard,"
I am always tempted to ask, Compared to what?
- Sydney Harris

It is necessary for me to establish a winner image.
Therefore, I have to beat somebody.
- Richard M. Nixon

If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.
- George S. Patton

An artist is somebody who produces things that people don't need to have.
- Andy Warhol

It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays,
including my own, to find that somebody remembers me.
- Ellen Glasgow

Reminds me of my safari in Africa.
Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days
we had to live on nothing but food and water.
- W. C. Fields

The Vice-Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate.
Everybody insists he won't take it, but somebody always does.
- Bill Vaughan

Sometimes it's a form of love just to talk to somebody
that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence.
- David Byrne

The hardest thing to believe about The Fan is not that
Robert De Niro is stalking somebody again but that
anyone cares that much about a baseball player.
- Bernie Lincicome

A man can fail many times,
but he isn't a failure until
he begins to blame somebody else.
- John Burroughs

If somebody invented cigarettes today,
the government would not legalize them.
- Loni Anderson

Do something for somebody everyday
for which you do not get paid.
- Albert Schweitzer

The secret of success is to find a need and fill it,
to find a hurt and heal it,
to find somebody with a problem
and offer to help solve it.
- Robert H. Schuller

Some guys say beauty is only skin deep.
But when you walk into a party, you don't see somebody's brain.
The initial contact has to be the sniffing.
- James Caan

Show me a person who has never made a mistake and I'll
show you somebody who has never achieved much.
- Joan Collins

There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less
intelligence and more sense than we have.
- Don Herold

It's a delight to trust somebody so completely.
- Jeff Goldblum

A liberal is a man who is willing to spend somebody else's money.
- Carter Glass

Truth cannot be defined,
although it can certainly be experienced.
But experience is not a definition.
A definition is made by the mind,
experience comes through participating.
If somebody asks, "What is a dance?" how can you define it?
But you can dance and you can know the inner feel of it.
God is the ultimate dance.
- Osho

There isn't a flaw in his golf or his makeup.
He will win more majors than Arnold Palmer and me combined.
Somebody is going to dust my records.
It might as well be Tiger, because he's such a great kid.
- Jack Nicklaus

The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living.
That's one thing about a little education.
It spoils you for actual work.
The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.
- Will Rogers

Loving is doing anything for them, thinking about them
constantly and being able to spend your whole life with that person.
Liking somebody is just like, 'Okay,
I like them because of this,
this and this, but I don't knkow if I am ready to be in love with them'.
- Chris Brown

My relationship to power and authority is that I'm all for it.
People need somebody to watch over them.
Ninety-five percent of the people in the world need
to be told what to do and how to behave.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger

When you betray somebody else, you also betray yourself.
- Isaac Bashevis Singer

The time I spent thinking about how I was better than
somebody else or worrying about somebody else's attitude
was time I could put to better use.
- Charley Pride

What I really dream of is that somebody would blow
everything I've done out of the water in a beautiful way,
which would clear the way for something better to come along.
- Leslie Fiedler

No matter what accomplishments you make,
somebody helped you.
- Althea Gibson

Somebody said to me, 'But the Beatles were anti-materialistic.'
That's a huge myth.
John and I literally used to sit down and say,
'Now, let's write a swimming pool.'
- Paul McCartney

You take somebody that cries their goddam eyes out
over phoney stuff in the movies,
and nine times out of ten they're mean bastards at heart.
- J. D. Salinger

It's the opinion of some that crops could be grown on the moon;
which raises the fear that it may not be long before
we're paying somebody not to.
- Franklin P. Jones

I've never had to pretend to be having sex with somebody.
I'm like the queen of the foreplay dissolve.
- Julia Roberts

When somebody says that all statements are false,
the obvious problem is that as an assertion it's self-defeating.
- Henry Flynt

The Labour Party of today has fits of horrors of the
very thought of somebody like me might saying that
they bought in white Australia.
But I believe they did.
- Colleen McCullough

If somebody has a better idea than me,
I'll take it if it surpasses what we have on the page
because at the end of the day,
it's me that takes the credit anyway!
- Guy Ritchie

Film music should have the same relationship to the
film drama that somebody's piano playing in my living
room has on the book I am reading.
- Igor Stravinsky

We need, first of all, for there to be accountability,
for there to be somebody who is responsible for enforcing
standards and holding people's feet to the fire.
- Jennifer Granholm

Things don't turn up in this world until somebody turns them up.
- James A. Garfield

John legend is a nickname that somebody started calling
me a while ago and part of it is 'cos I sound like an old man when I sing.
- John Legend

Every couple of seconds out here they're honoring somebody.
You've got to get dressed, go in and sit down.
Invariably somebody makes a speech.
- Dom DeLuise

You want the story to end when it's supposed to and
not be squeezed for somebody's financial gain.
- Lauren Graham

I think the sexiest thing on anybody is intelligence.
I respect somebody who has a brain and wants to use
it more than a pretty face and status.
- Sophia Bush

When I was in my 20s it did occur to me that there
was something perverted about an attitude that thought
that killing somebody was a minor offence compared to kissing somebody.
- John McGahern

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing
until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.
- Spike Milligan

It is not fun singing about losing somebody like that,
but at the same time it was easy to write because the
memories were so real and vivid and so much a part of who I am.
- Vince Gill

If you have Darwin, Christ and Nietzsche,
they're all going to talk at once.
You need somebody who listens.
- David Duchovny

We have to go into the despair and go beyond it,
by working and doing for somebody else,
by using it for something else.
- Elie Wiesel

The only thing that I miss lately in all music is somebody
that will put out a melody that you can whistle.
It doesn't seem like there's anything happening like that.
- Merle Haggard

If you know somebody is going to be awfully annoyed by something you write,
that's obviously very satisfying, and if they howl with rage or cry,
that's honey.
- A. N. Wilson

Whatever it is that the government does,
sensible Americans would prefer that the government
does it to somebody else.
This is the idea behind foreign policy.
- P. J. O'Rourke

I would like to see the day when somebody would be
appointed surgeon somewhere who had no hands,
for the operative part is the least part of the work.
- Harvey Cushing


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