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Let these funny Cricket Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand 
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty
I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
- Marianne Williamson
I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein
Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard
The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain
When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson
I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard
I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott
Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein
Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster
Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Belief is not the beginning but the end of all knowledge.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.