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One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
by Elbert Hubbard

One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
- Elbert Hubbard

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (Philistine - A Periodical of Protest, 1896)


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Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard

The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard


 

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

Our desires always disappoint us;
for though we meet with something that gives us satisfaction,
yet it never thoroughly answers our expectation.
- Elbert Hubbard

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.
- Elbert Hubbard

Life in abundance comes only through great love.
- Elbert Hubbard

If you have health, you probably will be happy,
and if you have health and happiness,
you have all the wealth you need, even if it is not all you want.
- Elbert Hubbard

The sculptor produces the beautiful statue
by chipping away such parts of the marble block as are not needed -
it is a process of elimination.
- Elbert Hubbard

Dignity is a mask we wear to hide our ignorance.
- Elbert Hubbard

Your friend is the man who knows all about you,
and still likes you.
- Elbert Hubbard

Friendship, like credit, is highest when it is not used.
- Elbert Hubbard

A little more persistence,
a little more effort, and
what seemed hopeless failure
may turn to glorious success.
- Elbert Hubbard

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill

Tombs are the clothes of the dead.
A grave is a plain suit;
while an expensive monument is one with embroidery.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln

Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin

The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter

You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous

The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha

There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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