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Funny Chance Quotes
Funny Quotes about Chance

Let these funny Chance Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

A life lived of choice is a life of conscious action.
A life lived of chance is a life of unconscious creation.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Edgar Bergen

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
- Phyllis Diller

It's just random chance, baby; get used to it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated,
let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he
does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.
- Bill Cosby


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He who trusts all things to chance,
makes a lottery of his life
- Proverb

Take a chance! All life is a chance.
The man who goes farthest is generally
the one who is willing to do and dare.
- Dale Carnegie

No man was ever wise by chance.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.
- Harrison Ford

I want to have fun, and I want to change the world.
I have a chance to do both.
- Bono

Far and away the best prize that life has to offer
is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.
- Theodore Roosevelt

When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Since there is nothing so well worth having as friends,
never lose a chance to make them.
- Francesco Guicciardini

Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new.
- Sammy Hagar

The people are the foundation of the nation.
Our only chance for a lasting peace on earth:
the release of the strength of the common man.
- Jimmy Yen

There is no chance and anarchy in the universe.
All is system and gradation.
Every god is there sitting in his sphere.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Destiny is not a matter of chance,
It is a matter of choice.
It is not something to be waited for,
But rather something to be achieved.
- William Jennings Bryan

We are not the same persons this year as last;
nor are those we love.
It is a happy chance if we, changing,
continue to love a changed person.
- W. Somerset Maugham

Freedom is nothing but a chance to be better.
- Albert Camus

I will prepare and some day my chance will come.
- Abraham Lincoln

Friendships in childhood are usually a matter of chance,
whereas in adolescence they are most often a matter of choice.
- David Elkind

All we are saying is give peace a chance.
- John Lennon

Learning is not attained by chance, it must be sought
for with ardor and diligence.
- Abigail Adams

Read the best books first,
or you may not have a chance to read them at all.
- Henry David Thoreau

If there is anything that a man can do well,
I say let him do it. Give him a chance.
- Abraham Lincoln

A discussion of philosophy is like a cat chasing its tail -
it may be an amusing diversion but
it has no chance for a satisfying conclusion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whatever your work and whatever its worth,
No matter how strong or clever,
Some one will sneer if you pause to hear,
And scoff at your best endeavor.
For the target art has a broad expanse,
And wherever you chance to hit it,
Though close be your aim to the bull's-eye fame,
There are those who will never admit it.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Chance makes our parents, but choice makes our friends.
- Jacques Delille

Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.
- Oprah Winfrey

The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings
his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.
- Peter De Vries

The history of free men is never really written by chance
but by choice; their choice!
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

As a rock star, I have two instincts,
I want to have fun, and I want to change the world.
I have a chance to do both.
- Bono

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
- Spike Milligan

The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight,
nothing which is more important than his own personal safety,
is a miserable creature and has no chance of being
free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.
- John Stuart Mill

Not chance of birth or place has made us friends,
Being oftentimes of different tongues and nations,
But the endeavor for the selfsame ends,
With the same hopes, and fears, and aspirations.
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

We should not let our response to
the people who disagree with us
be dictated by what they say about us
or even how they treat people we care for.
There has to be a chance that we can find love.
- William J. Clinton

For as long as I can remember, I've been searching for something,
some reason why we're here. What are we doing here? Who are we?
If this is a chance to find out
even just a little part of that answer...
I don't know, I think it's worth a human life. Don't you?
- the Jodie Foster movie Contact (1997)

If by chance some day you're not feeling well
and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done
and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart,
then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.
- Red Skelton

Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life
in which chance has placed us,
but is always the result of a good conscience,
good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits.
- Thomas Jefferson

Never stop dreaming your inspired future.
Believing in your dreams is only the first step,
but unless you have a dream that you believe in,
you are leaving your future to random chance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do real life people actually fall in love
with the idea of being in love?
Unfortunately, it is actually quite common.
Someone wants desperately to have
the husband or wife of their dreams.
They visualize the vine-covered cottage
with the white picket fence.
They choose the colors for the nursery.
They design all the aspects of their married life.
A real person stands no chance of measuring up to those fantasies.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you want to treat China as an enemy,
you have a much better chance of making them an enemy
than if you treat them as a potential friend.
- Jim Sasser

I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
- Gore Vidal

My image had always been very heterosexual,
very straight.
So it was a nice experience for me, a chance to clarify
my own feelings about gay and lesbian civil rights.
- Bruce Springsteen

The Dodo never had a chance.
He seems to have been invented for the sole purpose
of becoming extinct and that was all he was good for.
- Will Cuppy

Think of success as a game of chance in which you have control over the odds.
As you begin to master concepts in personal achievement,
you are increasing your odds of achieving success.
- Bo Bennett

I don't really get a chance to watch much television.
- Will Estes

Unless the great majority of Americans not only have,
but believe they have, a fair chance,
the better American future will be dangerously compromised.
- Herbert Croly

I've been doing Pride and Prejudice all summer,
so suddenly the chance to be holed up with a bunch
of marines is quite attractive,
and probably a necessary dose of male energy.
- Rosamund Pike

Improvisation is too good to leave to chance.
- Paul Simon

Practice every time you get a chance.
- Bill Monroe

You never know what a fool you can be till life gives you the chance.
- Eden Phillpotts

Before the first year, nobody gave it a chance.
Now, 36 years later, everybody knows Monday Night Football.
- Frank Gifford

Working on my own gave me a chance to take my time and experiment a lot.
- Ziggy Marley

I've never played a hero before so I jumped at the chance.
- Adrian Edmondson

Wealthy men can't live in an island that is encircled by poverty.
We all breathe the same air.
We must give a chance to everyone, at least a basic chance.
- Ayrton Senna

Governments must give to all those who have hit life's
hurdles the chance to rebuild and have a future.
- Pauline Hanson

From now until the end of time no one else will ever see life with my eyes,
and I mean to make the best of my chance.
- Christopher Morley

It's important to give it all you have while you have the chance.
- Shania Twain

A very small cause which escapes our notice determines
a considerable effect that we cannot fail to see,
and then we say that the effect is due to chance.
- Henri Poincare

I think that realistically we can shoot for the title this year.
If we stay healthy and be persistent throughout the season,
I think we have good chance to go all the way.
- Jason Kidd

The value of the majority lies not in the opportunity to wield great power,
but in the chance to use power to do great things.
- John Boehner

More than 100 people are involved in a transplant operation...
and we can't waste time and resources if there is a
chance the caretakers aren't up for an awesome responsibility.
- Leonard Bailey

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth
has a chance to get its pants on.
- Winston Churchill

I think all of us certainly believed the statistics
which said that probably 88% chance of mission success
and maybe 96% chance of survival.
And we were willing to take those odds.
- Alan Shepard

You never know how things are going to go.
I think you hope that people are going to dig what
you do and that you're going to get the chance to do
it on a really comfortable level.
- Amanda Marshall

Classic art was the art of necessity:
modern romantic art bears the stamp of caprice and chance.
- Max Eastman

Beset by a difficult problem? Now is your chance to shine.
Pick yourself up, get to work and get triumphantly through it.
- Ralph Marston

The only safe thing is to take a chance.
- Mike Nichols


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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