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Let these funny Except Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
I believe in equality for everyone,
except reporters and photographers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
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I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen
The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
You can't go home again because home has ceased to exist
except in the mothballs of memory.
- John Steinbeck (Travels With Charley)
A life is not important except in
the impact it has on other lives.
- Jackie Robinson (baseball player)
There are people in the world so hungry,
that God cannot appear to them
except in the form of bread.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
What is happiness except the simple harmony
between a man and the life he leads?
- Albert Camus
If anyone is unhappy, remember that
his unhappiness is his own fault...
Nothing else is the cause of anxiety or loss of tranquility
except our own opinion.
- Epictetus
Fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie
Nothing can bring a real sense of security
into the home except true love.
- Billy Graham
The future has nothing in common with the past -
except natural laws and human nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No one can find inner peace except by working,
not in a self-centered way, but for the whole human family.
- Peace Pilgrim
I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.
- Socrates
We do not covet anything from any nation except their respect.
- Winston Churchill
You have not been abandoned.
You are never alone, except by your own choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared
believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.
- Bruce Barton
There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it
and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself.
- Henry David Thoreau
Use what talents you possess.
The woods would be very silent
if no birds sang there,
except those that sang best.
- Henry Van Dyke
When was the last time you took
a different route to work ... just because?
Consider shaking up your life a little (or a lot) ...
for no reason, except to do it.
Let your life be an adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Walking takes longer...
than any other known form of locomotion except crawling.
Thus it stretches time and prolongs life.
Life is already too short to waste on speed.
- Edward Abbey
There is no hope of joy except in human relations.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Do not look for approval
except for the consciousness of doing your best.
- Andrew Carnegie
There is nothing permanent except change.
- Heraclitus
You can conquer almost any fear
if you will only make up your mind to do so.
For remember, fear doesn't exist
anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie
No one is to be called an enemy,
all are your benefactors, and no one does you harm.
You have no enemy except yourselves.
- St. Francis of Assisi
It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government,
except all the others that have been tried.
- Winston Churchill
There is joy in work.
There is no happiness except in the realization
that we have accomplished something.
- Henry Ford
We cannot command Nature except by obeying her.
- Francis Bacon
I have no dress except the one I wear every day.
If you are going to be kind enough to give me one,
please let it be practical and dark
so that I can put it on afterwards to go to the laboratory.
- Marie Curie
It is against everything we stand for to take a human life.
Making an exception to that code is a bleak thing.
- Sam, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
It is well to remember that the
entire population of the universe,
with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
- Andrew J. Holmes
My decision to register women confirms what is already obvious
throughout our society -
that women are now providing
all types of skills in every profession.
The military should be no exception.
- Jimmy Carter
I think this is the most extraordinary
collection of talent, of human knowledge,
that has ever been gathered at the White House -
with the possible exception of
when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.
- John F. Kennedy
If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus
The best argument against democracy is
a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
- Winston Churchill
To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The length of this document defends it well
against the risk of its being read.
- Winston Churchill
This report, by its very length, defends itself
against the risk of being read.
- Winston Churchill
The greatest weapon against stress
is our ability to choose one thought over another.
- William James
Action is our greatest weapon against fear.
Left to molder, fear grows upon itself,
but in the face of action,
fear is left in the dust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw
He is a man of courage who does not run away,
but remains at his post and fights against the enemy.
- Socrates
How is it that one rails against that
which is nearly a certainty?
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Your success and happiness lies in you.
Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you
shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
- Helen Keller
A sin is anything you do which goes against yourself
- don Miguel Ruiz
Greatness is not in where we stand,
but in what direction we are moving.
We must sail sometimes with the wind
and sometimes against it -
but sail we must,
and not drift, nor lie at anchor.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
There are always two forces warring against each other within us.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
Life is change. Without change, there is no life.
Why then do we so fight against change?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When our thoughts - which bring actions -
are filled with hate against anyone, Negro or white,
we are in a living hell.
That is as real as hell will ever be.
- George Washington Carver
People who work together will win,
whether it be against complex football defenses,
or the problems of modern society.
- Vince Lombardi
A Bill of Rights is what the people are
entitled to against every government,
and what no just government should refuse, or rest on inference.
- Thomas Jefferson
One can flow harmoniously with the River -
or one can struggle fearfully against the River -
and the River just flows.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Resort is had to ridicule only when reason is against us.
- Thomas Jefferson
A house divided against itself cannot stand.
- Abraham Lincoln
If you wish to see the truth,
then hold no opinion for or against.
- Osho
I have sworn upon the altar of God,
eternal hostility against every form of tyranny
over the mind of man.
- Thomas Jefferson
If we are to teach real peace in this world,
and if we are to carry on a real war against war,
we shall have to begin with the children.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Difficulties show men what they are.
In case of any difficulty,
remember that God has pitted you
against a rough antagonist
that you may be a conqueror,
and this cannot be without toil.
- Epictetus
I hope that no American will waste his franchise
and throw away his vote
by voting either for me or against me solely
on account of my religious affiliation. It is not relevant.
- John F. Kennedy
Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
- Mark Twain
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.