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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Except Quotes
Funny Quotes about Except

Let these funny Except Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West

I believe in equality for everyone,
except reporters and photographers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Everybody knows how to raise children,
except the people who have them.
- P. J. O'Rourke


 

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain


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Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen

The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci

What is happiness except the simple harmony
between a man and the life he leads?
- Albert Camus

A life is not important except in
the impact it has on other lives.
- Jackie Robinson (baseball player)

If anyone is unhappy, remember that
his unhappiness is his own fault...
Nothing else is the cause of anxiety or loss of tranquility
except our own opinion.
- Epictetus

There are people in the world so hungry,
that God cannot appear to them
except in the form of bread.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

You can't go home again because home has ceased to exist
except in the mothballs of memory.
- John Steinbeck (Travels With Charley)

Fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie

Art ought never to be considered except in its relations with its ideal beauty.
- Alfred de Vigny

My father never raised his hand to any one of his children,
except in self-defense.
- Fred Allen

There is nothing deep down inside us except what we
have put there ourselves.
- Richard Rorty

The future has nothing in common with the past -
except natural laws and human nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government,
except all the others that have been tried.
- Winston Churchill

Do not look for approval
except for the consciousness of doing your best.
- Andrew Carnegie

The dreamer can know no truth, not even about his dream,
except by awaking out of it.
- George Santayana

You can conquer almost any fear
if you will only make up your mind to do so.
For remember, fear doesn't exist
anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie

Use what talents you possess.
The woods would be very silent
if no birds sang there,
except those that sang best.
- Henry Van Dyke

You have not been abandoned.
You are never alone, except by your own choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at
least 172 miles per hour upside down.
- Dave Barry

Everything makes me nervous - except making films.
- Elizabeth Taylor

No matter where I've been overseas, the food stinks,
except in Italy.
- Carmen Electra

Talk is cheap - except when Congress does it.
- Cullen Hightower

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine.
- Robert C. Gallagher

I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.
- Socrates

When was the last time you took
a different route to work ... just because?
Consider shaking up your life a little (or a lot) ...
for no reason, except to do it.
Let your life be an adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared
believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.
- Bruce Barton

Time changes everything except something within us
which is always surprised by change.
- Thomas Hardy

There is no meaning to life except the meaning man
gives his life by the unfolding of his powers.
- Erich Fromm

Nothing ever comes to one, that is worth having,
except as a result of hard work.
- Booker T. Washington

Money was never a big motivation for me,
except as a way to keep score.
The real excitement is playing the game.
- Donald Trump

We who are liberal and progressive know that the poor
are our equals in every sense except that of being equal to us.
- Lionel Trilling

Wars have never hurt anybody except the people who die.
- Salvador Dali

There is a time for all things - except marriage,
my dear.
- Thomas Chatterton

I have never advocated war except as a means of peace.
- Ulysses S. Grant

No one can find inner peace except by working,
not in a self-centered way, but for the whole human family.
- Peace Pilgrim

Walking takes longer...
than any other known form of locomotion except crawling.
Thus it stretches time and prolongs life.
Life is already too short to waste on speed.
- Edward Abbey

There is joy in work.
There is no happiness except in the realization
that we have accomplished something.
- Henry Ford

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival
skill except for learning how to grow in rows.
- Doug Larson

We do not covet anything from any nation except their respect.
- Winston Churchill

We cannot command Nature except by obeying her.
- Francis Bacon

No one is to be called an enemy,
all are your benefactors, and no one does you harm.
You have no enemy except yourselves.
- St. Francis of Assisi

There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it
and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself.
- Henry David Thoreau

Vegetarians are cool.
All I eat are vegetarians - except for the occasional mountain lion steak.
- Ted Nugent

Nothing can bring a real sense of security
into the home except true love.
- Billy Graham

There is no hope of joy except in human relations.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

There is nothing permanent except change.
- Heraclitus

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
- Jean-Paul Sartre

Half of the modern drugs could well be thrown out of the window,
except that the birds might eat them.
- Martin Henry Fischer

Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion,
a screwball can be a pitch or a person,
stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like
except in the umpire's eye or on the ball.
- James Patrick Murray

As a person, I'm pretty much the same except that I've
come to terms with who my real friends and supporters are.
I don't get particularly friendly with new people at first go.
- Sanjay Dutt

I love dogs.
They live in the moment and don't care about anything
except affection and food.
They're loyal and happy.
Humans are just too damn complicated.
- David Duchovny

In matters of the heart, nothing is true except the improbable.
- Madame de Stael

No one has ever written, painted, sculpted,
modeled, built, or invented except literally to get out of hell.
- Antonin Artaud

There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.
- Brendan Behan

I don't have nothing to regret at all in the past,
except that I might've unintentionally hurt somebody else or something.
- Jimi Hendrix

All publicity is good, except an obituary notice.
- Brendan Behan

It's hard to know what to say about somebody like that,
except there are people who look for trouble.
And trouble is very easy to find when you go looking for it.
- Patty Hearst

The character is close to me, except that I haven't
lived through those situations,
so it's not completely me.
- Charlotte Gainsbourg

I have, indeed, no abhorrence of danger,
except in its absolute effect - in terror.
- Edgar Allan Poe

The unfortunate thing about working for yourself is
that you have the worst boss in the world.
I work every day of the year except at Christmas,
when I work a half day.
- David Eddings


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.