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Funny Everything Quotes
Funny Quotes about Everything

Let these funny Everything Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Attitude is everything.
- Charles Swindoll

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde

Tip the world over on its side and
everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright


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Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen

When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous


 

I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell [attributed]
(Commissioner, US Patent Office, in 1899)

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen

If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

The more he became truly wise,
the more he distrusted everything he knew.
- Voltaire

I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

The simple life is everything Vogue isn't.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
- Phyllis Diller

The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein

There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.
The real miracle is the love that inspires them.
In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
- A Course in Miracles

When I see Spirit in everything, Peace is at hand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everything has beauty,
but not everyone sees it.
- Confucius

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
- Lao Tzu

Everything is a miracle,
not just the beautiful and lovely things.
- Anonymous

In three words, I can sum up everything
I've learned about life - it goes on.
- Robert Frost

Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

There is nothing more depressing,
than having everything,
and still feeling sad.
- Janet Jackson

Presence requires an internal alertness
to the all and everything surrounding us.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Everything you say and do,
is a reflection of the inner you.
- Anonymous

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world,
and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
- Norman Vincent Peale

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl

Everything that irritates us about others
can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
- Carl Jung

Imagination decides everything.
- Blaise Pascal

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

Feeling overwhelmed by apparent demands on our time
is like going to a restaurant,
ordering everything on the menu,
and complaining about indigestion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel

For everything I observe or experience,
I create a story - not sometimes, but always.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is easy enough to be pleasant
When life flows by like a song,
But the man worth while is the one who will smile
When everything goes dead wrong.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Everything we say, do, think, and feel
is a product of our personal history
and the collective history of humankind.
Our name for these histories is "prejudice."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Am One With Spirit and All Creation -
I give thanks for the unity of all creation
and for everything that has brought me to this moment.
I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

So divinely is the world organized that every one of us,
in our place and time, is in balance with everything else.
- Adam Acone

Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Everything is not as it appears to be.
- Proverb

Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end.
It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing;
it's when you've had everything to do, and you've done it.
- Margaret Thatcher

Not everything that can be counted counts,
and not everything that counts can be counted.
- Albert Einstein

Know that you have a choice about
everything you do and everything you do not do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everything is made of light
- don Miguel Ruiz

Everything popular is wrong.
- Oscar Wilde

When all you know is bombs,
everything looks like a target.
Give peace and diplomacy a chance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Public sentiment is everything.
With public sentiment, nothing can fail.
Without it, nothing can succeed.
- Abraham Lincoln

Everything is clearer when you're in love.
- John Lennon

Always aim at complete harmony
of thought and word and deed.
Always aim at purifying your thoughts
and everything will be well.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Accept everything about yourself - I mean everything.
You are you and that is the beginning and the end -
no apologies, no regrets.
- Henry Kissinger

Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge
and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you,
you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Everything that we see is a shadow
cast by that which we do not see.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The Master acts without doing, and everything gets done.
- Lao Tzu

The key to everything is patience.
You get the chicken by hatching the egg,
not by smashing it open.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

Half of everything you were ever taught is wrong;
the question is which half.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Know nothing. For to know nothing is to know everything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Tradition is like a second-hand store.
It is best to sort carefully
between the treasures and the trash.
See everything with new eyes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Only those who can leave behind everything they
have ever believed in can hope to escape.
- William S. Burroughs

The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.
- Albert Einstein

The man who promises everything, is sure to fulfill nothing,
and everyone who promises too much is in danger of
using evil means in order to carry out his promises,
and is already on the road to perdition.
- Carl Jung

I have Gratitude for Everything
that has brought me to this moment.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I always like to know everything about my new friends,
and nothing about my old ones.
- Oscar Wilde


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.