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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Everything Quotes
Funny Quotes about Everything

Let these funny Everything Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Attitude is everything.
- Charles Swindoll

Tip the world over on its side and
everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain


 

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen

I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous

I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde


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Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous

I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
- Phyllis Diller

If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous

Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell [attributed]
(Commissioner, US Patent Office, in 1899)

I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

The more he became truly wise,
the more he distrusted everything he knew.
- Voltaire

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen

The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

The simple life is everything Vogue isn't.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When I see Spirit in everything, Peace is at hand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everything is a miracle,
not just the beautiful and lovely things.
- Anonymous

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
- Lao Tzu

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein

Everything has beauty,
but not everyone sees it.
- Confucius

Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.
The real miracle is the love that inspires them.
In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
- A Course in Miracles

Feeling overwhelmed by apparent demands on our time
is like going to a restaurant,
ordering everything on the menu,
and complaining about indigestion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everything you say and do,
is a reflection of the inner you.
- Anonymous

Everything that irritates us about others
can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
- Carl Jung

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl

So divinely is the world organized that every one of us,
in our place and time, is in balance with everything else.
- Adam Acone

Imagination decides everything.
- Blaise Pascal

It is easy enough to be pleasant
When life flows by like a song,
But the man worth while is the one who will smile
When everything goes dead wrong.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

For everything I observe or experience,
I create a story - not sometimes, but always.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In three words, I can sum up everything
I've learned about life - it goes on.
- Robert Frost

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

Everything we say, do, think, and feel
is a product of our personal history
and the collective history of humankind.
Our name for these histories is "prejudice."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel

Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Presence requires an internal alertness
to the all and everything surrounding us.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

There is nothing more depressing,
than having everything,
and still feeling sad.
- Janet Jackson

I Am One With Spirit and All Creation -
I give thanks for the unity of all creation
and for everything that has brought me to this moment.
I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world,
and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
- Albert Einstein

Religion is the idol of the mob; it adores everything it does not understand.
- Frederick II

Everything is God
- don Miguel Ruiz

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.
- Garrison Keillor

Positive thinking will let you do everything
better than negative thinking will.
- Zig Ziglar

Only those who can leave behind everything they
have ever believed in can hope to escape.
- William S. Burroughs

If net neutrality goes away, it will fundamentally
change everything about the Internet.
- James Hilton

Everything in life is luck.
- Donald Trump

When you feel the need to hurry,
remember that everything in life is a CHOICE.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In true friendship, one can express
anything and everything without feeling ashamed
or afraid of being rejected.
- Aparna Chatterjee

Love is an undulating energy that moves through you,
within you, and radiates out of you,
and changes everything.
- Bartholomew

When we come into the present,
we begin to feel the life around us again,
but we also encounter whatever we have been avoiding.
We must have the courage to face whatever is present -
our pain, our desires, our grief,
our loss, our secret hopes our love -
everything that moves us most deeply.
- Jack Kornfield

A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else.
- George Savile

Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons.
Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible.
- Cherie-Carter Scotts

Not everything that casts a long shadow is to be feared.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The environment is everything that isn't me.
- Albert Einstein

Everything is blooming most recklessly;
if it were voices instead of colors,
there would be an unbelievable shrieking into the heart of the night.
- Rainer Maria Rilke

Know that when you see Spirit in everything,
peace is at hand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.
- Irene Peter

Everything is clearer when you're in love.
- John Lennon

When women love us, they forgive us everything,
even our crimes; when they do not love us,
they give us credit for nothing, not even our virtues.
- Honore de Balzac

You can't learn everything you need to know legally.
- John Irving

In spite of everything, I still believe
that people are really good at heart.
I simply can't build up my hopes on a foundation
consisting of confusion, misery and death.
- Anne Frank


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.