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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Wants Quotes
Funny Quotes about Wants

Let these funny Wants Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar

Just because an animal is large, it doesn't mean he doesn't want kindness;
however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man.
And man can be as big as he wants.
No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.
- John F. Kennedy


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Government is a contrivance
of human wisdom to provide for human wants.
People have the right to expect that these wants
will be provided for by this wisdom.
- Jimmy Carter

Priorities - what's really important -
health, and doing what one wants to do -
it's certainly not money.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I distrust those people who know so well
what God wants them to do,
because I notice it always coincides
with their own desires.
- Susan B. Anthony


 

All God wants of man is a peaceful heart.
- Meister Eckhart

He who wants to do good knocks at the gate:
he who loves finds the door open.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Money has never made man happy, nor will it,
there is nothing in its nature to produce happiness.
The more of it one has the more one wants.
- Benjamin Franklin

Wealth consists not in having great possessions,
but in having few wants.
- Epictetus

Man falls from the pursuit of the ideal
of plain living and high thinking
the moment he wants to multiply his daily wants.
Man's happiness really lies in contentment.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Any man who wants to be president
is either an egomaniac or crazy.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The slavery of fear had made men afraid to think.
But such is the irresistible nature of truth,
that all it asks, and all it wants, is the liberty of appearing.
- Thomas Paine, Rights of Man, 1791

A man is a success if he gets up in
the morning and gets to bed at night,
and in between he does what he wants to do.
- Bob Dylan

Can anything be so elegant as to have few wants,
and to serve them one's self?
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Conversations with God are very different
from the usual nature of prayer.
Prayers are commonly only in one direction -
the one praying speaks and hopes God is listening.
Prayers also tend to focus on asking
for specific things or outcomes one wants,
rather than seeking to better understand the mind of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do real life people actually fall in love
with the idea of being in love?
Unfortunately, it is actually quite common.
Someone wants desperately to have
the husband or wife of their dreams.
They visualize the vine-covered cottage
with the white picket fence.
They choose the colors for the nursery.
They design all the aspects of their married life.
A real person stands no chance of measuring up to those fantasies.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If the mind wants to comprehend reality,
it will have to come out of the past and the future.
But coming out of the past and the future,
it is no longer the mind at all.
Hence the insistence of all the great masters of the world
that the door to reality is no-mind.
- Osho

Nobody needs your help.
I know, I know, this is a difficult one. But it is true.
This does not mean no one wants your help,
or that no one could use your help.
It simply means the thought that another
Aspect of Divinity is powerless without you is inaccurate.
- Neale Donald Walsch

How wrong is it for women to expect
the man to build the world she wants,
rather than set out to create it herself.
- Anais Nin

The postman wants an autograph.
The cab driver wants a picture.
The waitress wants a handshake.
Everyone wants a piece of you.
- John Lennon

Leadership is the art of getting someone else
to do something you want done because he wants to do it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

I feel the need to express something,
but I don't know what it is I want to express.
- the movie Interiors

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous

Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

If you want to make enemies,
try to change something.
- Woodrow Wilson

How do you want to be remembered?
Live life full out - Begin today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The jump is so frightening
between where I am,
and where I want to be.
Because of all I may become,
I will close my eyes and leap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry

Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody
who shall make us do what we can.
Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.
- Bill Cosby

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
- Dan Stanford

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president,
but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
- John F. Kennedy

If you want to make peace with your enemy,
you have to work with your enemy.
Then he becomes your partner.
- Nelson Mandela

If you want to be happy, be.
- Leo Tolstoy

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton

Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

Most of us are prisoners of habit,
and don't even notice that we do the same things,
think the same things, want the same things each day -
mostly without conscious thought.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never say goodbye when you still want to try,
never give up when you still feel you can't take it.
Never say you don't love the person anymore
when you can't let go.
- Anonymous

We believe whatever we want to believe.
- Demosthenes

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.
- Leslie Gore

The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw

If we want to direct our lives,
we must take control of our consistent actions.
It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives,
but what we do consistently.
- Anthony Robbins

You know you love someone when you know
you want them to be happy,
even if their happiness means
that you are not a part of it.
- Anonymous

Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

Those that want friends to open themselves unto
are cannibals of their own hearts.
- Francis Bacon

Intolerance betrays want of faith in one's cause.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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