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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Diamonds Quotes
Funny Quotes about Diamonds

Let these funny Diamonds Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

We shall find peace. We shall hear angels.
We shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds.
- Anton Chekhov

I give you this one thought to keep -
I am with you still - I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the sweet uplifting rush,
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft starts that shine at night.
Do not think of me as gone -
I am with you still in each new dawn.
- Traditional Native American Prayer

I Did Not Die
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain,
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
- Anonymous


 

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors


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You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde

Every spirit makes its house,
and we can give a shrewd guess
from the house to the inhabitant.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

All gods are homemade, and it is we who pull their strings,
and so, give them the power to pull ours.
- Aldous Huxley

Give me the luxuries of life
and I will willingly do without the necessities.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is more agreeable to have the power to give than to receive.
- Winston Churchill

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Anonymous

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams

He who can take advice is sometimes superior
to him who can give it.
- Erica Jong

She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Give thanks for the rain in your life
which waters the flowers of your soul.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- Dale Carnegie

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde

I give thanks for both my bloom and my thorns.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill

One can not reflect in streaming water.
Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.
- Lao Tzu

Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

Give me your tired, your poor,
your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.
- written on the Statue of Liberty in New York harbor

Never say goodbye when you still want to try,
never give up when you still feel you can't take it.
Never say you don't love the person anymore
when you can't let go.
- Anonymous

I Am One With Spirit and All Creation -
I give thanks for the unity of all creation
and for everything that has brought me to this moment.
I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is neither wealth nor splendor;
but tranquility and occupation which give you happiness.
- Thomas Jefferson

Don't give energy to perceived dislikes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth (John 13:34)

If you have zest and enthusiasm
you attract zest and enthusiasm.
Life does give back in kind.
- Norman Vincent Peale

We all have our thorns. We, and Life, have our moments.
Life occurs before our morning coffee.
Life occurs in our bathrobe with our hair uncombed.
Bless and give thanks for All of Life - the bloom and the thorns.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Give a boy address and accomplishments
and you give him the mastery
of palaces and fortunes where he goes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up.
Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
- Michael Jordan

Give somebody a gold star - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
- John D. Rockefeller

I won't give up 'til goats sing and walruses fly.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If self-validation were our
most significant societal measure -
we would give trophies to ourselves.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

You have to accept whatever comes
and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage
and with the best that you have to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

To give up yourself without regret is the greatest charity.
- Bodhidharma

Our world is magnificent - all of it.
Rejoice and give thanks.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In our willingness to give that which we seek,
we keep the abundance of the universe circulating in our lives.
- Deepak Chopra

Give me a place to stand and I will move the earth.
- Aristotle

The highest education is that which
does not merely give us information
but makes our life in harmony with all existence.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day,
teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
- Chinese Proverb

We should be too big to take offense
and too noble to give it.
- Abraham Lincoln

If you would take, you must first give,
this is the beginning of intelligence.
- Lao Tzu

What is to give light must endure the burning.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.
- Henry David Thoreau

To give victory to the right, not bloody bullets,
but peaceful ballots only, are necessary.
- Abraham Lincoln

A coach is someone who can give correction
without causing resentment.
- John Wooden

If anyone is crazy enough to want to kill
a president of the United States, he can do it.
All he must be prepared to do is give his life for the president's.
- John F. Kennedy

No partner in a love relationship...
should feel that he has to give up
an essential part of himself to make it viable.
- May Sarton

It was the nation and the race dwelling all round the globe
that had the lion's heart.
I had the luck to be called upon to give the roar.
- Winston Churchill

Every day I give thanks that I am me,
and that everything that has ever occurred in my life
happened exactly as it did -
however unpleasant it may have appeared at the time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All we are saying is give peace a chance.
- John Lennon

Today... Give thanks for the miracles -
Give thanks for the love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
- Khalil Gibran

See life as ugly and painful - if you choose,
or see it as beautiful and joyful.
There is no inherent meaning in life.
We give life its meaning.
It's our Choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No face which we can give to a matter
will stead us so well at last as the truth.
This alone wears well.
- Henry David Thoreau

Give yourself the gift of forgiving
everyone you are angry with -
for every action you resent.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our "Rainbows and Butterflies" are the small miracles of our life -
the little things that are so easy to overlook,
yet so awe inspiring when we take a moment
to notice and to pay attention.
Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh,
for the touch of a hand and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.