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Funny Mean Quotes
Funny Quotes about Mean

Let these funny Mean Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society

Just because I don't care,
doesn't mean I don't understand.
- Matt Groening's TV series The Simpsons.

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone,
"it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
- Lewis Carroll


 

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt


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No matter how dull, or how mean, or how wise a man is,
he feels that happiness is his indisputable right.
- Helen Keller

Life is a game - a game you can never win.
You already know the final score: Life 1, You 0.
Doesn't mean you can't have fun playing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.
Just because they're not on your road
doesn't mean they've gotten lost.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything.
It's the time we spent together that matters,
not how we left it.
- Trey Parker

Make your "yes" mean yes,
and your "no" mean no.
- John Wooden

Just because an animal is large, it doesn't mean he doesn't want kindness;
however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

An "always been" does not mean I must choose "what must be."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Whenever anyone says, 'theoretically,'
they really mean,
'not really.'
- Dave Parnas

What people often mean by getting rid of conflict
is getting rid of diversity,
and it is of the utmost importance
that these should not be considered the same.
- M. P. Follett

It is only the great-hearted who can be true friends.
The mean and cowardly can never know what true friendship means.
- Charles Kingsley

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.
- Irene Peter

I do the very best I know how -
the very best I can;
and I mean to keep on doing so until the end.
- Abraham Lincoln

"Uncertainty" is NOT "I don't know."
It is "I can't know."
"I am uncertain" does not mean "I could be certain."
- Wener Karl Heisenberg

Knowledge will forever govern ignorance;
and a people who mean to be their own governors must
arm themselves with the power which knowledge gives.
- James Madison

Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect.
It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.
- Anonymous

Failure doesn't mean you are a failure it just means
you haven't succeeded yet.
- Robert H. Schuller

For a people who are free, and who mean to remain so,
a well-organized and armed militia is their best security.
- Thomas Jefferson

Understanding the laws of nature does not mean that
we are immune to their operations.
- David Gerrold

Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world
doesn't mean you are wiser
than when it reached only to the end of the bar.
- Edward R. Murrow

Be clear with yourself about what you mean
in conversations with others, and especially with yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Father or stepfather - those are just titles to me.
They don't mean anything.
- Oliver Hudson

We get to CHOOSE the meaning for our lives.
Our lives mean exactly what we say they do - no more, no less.
Each of us chooses their path in life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
- George Carlin

Letting go doesn't mean giving up...
it means moving on.
- Anonymous

Just because something doesn't do what you planned
it to do doesn't mean it's useless.
- Thomas A. Edison

The right to do something doesn't mean that doing it is right.
- William Safire

It is our experience that political leaders do not
always mean the opposite of what they say.
- Abba Eban

Accept everything about yourself - I mean everything.
You are you and that is the beginning and the end -
no apologies, no regrets.
- Henry Kissinger

You can't move so fast that you try to change
the mores faster than people can accept it.
That doesn't mean you do nothing,
but it means that you do the things that
need to be done according to priority.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

There are some great questions to ask your doctor.
If he says 'no,' then you find yourself a different doctor.
There really has to be a change in how we medically
look at women at this time.
I mean, this is not just baby gloom.
- Marie Osmond

I mean, I'm pretty good in real life,
but sometimes people seem surprised that I'm like a
normal teenager and wear black nail polish and I'm
just a little bit more edgy than the person I play on television.
- Brittany Snow

Be Impeccable With Your Word.
Speak with integrity.
Say only what you mean.
Avoid using your word to speak against yourself
or to gossip about others.
Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz

In science, "fact" can only mean "confirmed to such
a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent."
I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow,
but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms.
- Stephen Jay Gould

I mean, I look at my dad.
He was twenty when he started having a family,
and he was always the coolest dad.
He did everything for his kids, and he never made us
feel like he was pressured.
I know that it must be a great feeling to be a guy like that.
- Adam Sandler

Success doesn't mean that you are healthy,
success doesn't mean that you're happy,
success doesn't mean that you're rested.
Success really doesn't mean that you look good,
or feel good, or are good.
- Victoria Principal

It was definitely a part of our life.
I mean, my mom had both her brothers and her fiancee
in Vietnam at the same time,
so it wasn't just my dad's story, it was my mom's story too.
And we definitely grew up listening to the stories.
- Vanessa Kerry

Presents don't really mean much to me.
I don't want to sound mawkish, but -
it was the realization that I have a great many people
in my life who really love me,
and who I really love.
- Gabriel Byrne

God may be subtle, but he isn't plain mean.
- Albert Einstein

I decided that it was not wisdom that
enabled poets to write their poetry,
but a kind of instinct or inspiration,
such as you find in seers and prophets
who deliver all their sublime messages
without knowing in the least what they mean.
- Socrates

It is a good rule in life never to apologize.
The right sort of people do not want apologies,
and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
- P. G. Wodehouse

Yeah, right.
I mean, he criticises everybody in the media,
then the first thing he does when he finishes is he
goes to work for the media.
Thompson, too.
Hypocritical.
- Ian St.
John

If a liberal political philosophy stands for anything,
and I am no longer sure it does, then it must mean
that we are committed to the leveling of the playing field for everyone.
- Daniel Keys Moran

You only have a week to do a show.
I mean, there's only so deep you can dig in that week.
- David Hyde Pierce

I mean, Janet Jackson? She's like Michael Jackson with hair.
- Ronnie Spector

I mean you might say he had a travelling post office,
but also Barney was very, very active.
He was a legal officer for the NAACP and they had a
lot of problems after Pease.
- Betty Hill

I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel,
but I am, so that's how it comes out.
- Bill Hicks

Some people are naturally thin and some people are naturally heavier.
It doesn't mean that bigger is healthier,
or much thinner is healthier, it's on an individual basis.
- Geri Halliwell

People look at my six days in the week to see what I mean on the seventh.
- Robert Cecil

But those musics do not address the larger kind of
architecture in time that classical music does,
whatever each one of us knows that classical music must mean.
- Michael Tilson Thomas

I like Bill a lot.
As Bill is presented, I mean you don't ever see Bill
blow her head off? You know? And I think what Quentin
has done is he created a monster.
- David Carradine

By a museum, I assume you mean an institution dedicated to the events of Sept.
11 and the aftermath.
If that is done with sensitivity, I think it would be most appropriate.
- David Rockefeller

To go behind a man's hall-door is mean,
cowardly, unfair opposition.
- Victoria Woodhull

You know, just because you're a blonde type doesn't
mean you can't suddenly do serious parts.
- Cleo Moore

There's a lot to be said for being nouveau riche,
and the Reagans mean to say it all.
- Gore Vidal

Ritual will always mean throwing away something:
destroying our corn or wine upon the altar of our gods.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton

I was just a lot smarter about not getting caught.
I mean, I never stuck anything in my arm,
but I certainly enjoyed my youth.
- Jason Bateman

I mean, if you turn on the radio, love is 90 percent of the music.
- Enrique Iglesias

Stage work, that's all I have in my background.
Wasteland was my first TV experience.
Dawson's was my first long-term, I mean the entire season of 22 episodes.
- Sasha Alexander

It's not the events of our lives that shape us,
but our beliefs as to what those events mean.
- Tony Robbins

Mistakes and dead-ends often mean more to these artists than any proven problem.
- Robert Smithson

In my day, people didn't do nude scenes.
I mean they didn't exist.
- Claire Bloom

I mean, I'm obviously not one of those people who's
so beautiful women take their clothes off when I walk into the room.
I didn't become a star overnight.
- Robbie Coltrane

Just because you put higher-octane gasoline in your
car doesn't mean you can break the speed limit.
The speed limit's still 65.
- Neil Sheehan

Computers are hierarchical.
We have a desktop and hierarchical files which have to mean everything.
- Ted Nelson


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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