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Let these funny Travels Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
A lie travels round the world while
truth is putting her boots on.
- French Proverb
(also attributed to Mark Twain, Winston Churchill, and others)
You can't go home again because home has ceased to exist
except in the mothballs of memory.
- John Steinbeck (Travels With Charley)
The man who goes alone can start today;
but he who travels with another
must wait till that other is ready.
- Henry David Thoreau
One travels more usefully when alone, because he reflects more.
- Thomas Jefferson
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The traveler sees what he sees,
the tourist sees what he has come to see.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton
Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Travel teaches toleration.
- Benjamin Disraeli
I did not wish to take a cabin passage,
but rather to go before the mast
and on the deck of the world,
for there I could best see
the moonlight amid the mountains.
I do not wish to go below now.
- Henry David Thoreau
To travel is to take a journey into yourself.
- Danny Kaye
The more one does and sees and feels, the more one is able to do,
and the more genuine may be one's appreciation
of fundamental things like home,
and love, and understanding companionship.
- Amelia Earhart
I never saw a discontented tree.
They grip the ground as though they liked it,
and though fast rooted, they travel about as far as we do.
- John Muir
We travel, some of us forever, to seek
other states, other lives, other souls.
- Anais Nin
It is better to travel well than to arrive.
- The Buddha
Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful,
we must carry it with us or we find it not.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Travel is fatal to bigotry, prejudice, and narrow-mindedness.
- Mark Twain
Pain is a difficult companion. There's no getting around that.
But, if pain is to be a companion, searching and discovering
your own best ways to travel with that pain
will lead you to the joy that you long to have.
They are your paths, your ways and while my experience
and the experiences of others may inspire you,
ultimately it will be the choices you discover
and make for yourself that lead you to certain joy
in the midst of your challenges.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness,
and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.
Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things
cannot be acquired by vegetating
in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.
- Mark Twain
People travel to wonder at the height of mountains,
at the huge waves of the sea,
at the long courses of rivers,
at the vast compass of the ocean,
at the circular motion of the stars;
and they pass by themselves without wondering.
- St. Augustine
It is for us to pray not for tasks equal to our powers,
but for powers equal to our tasks,
to go forward with a great desire forever beating at the door
of our hearts as we travel toward our distant goal.
- Helen Keller
Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.
Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute
with love, grace, and gratitude.
- Denis Waitley
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I ...
I took the one less traveled by,
and that has made all the difference.
- Robert Frost
Cloud Animals: Be a Child Again.
I remember warm summer afternoons,
laying in the shade of a maple tree in the back yard
of my Connecticut home watching the clouds for hours.
As those clouds formed dragons and foxes, clowns and angels,
I traveled across space and time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A good traveler has no fixed plans,
and is not intent on arriving.
- Lao Tzu
Generally speaking, a howling wilderness does not howl:
it is the imagination of the traveler that does the howling.
- Henry David Thoreau
The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II
If he's first class, I'm traveling steerage.
- the movie Libeled Lady (1936)
Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Trees go wandering forth in all directions with every wind,
going and coming like ourselves,
traveling with us around the sun two million miles a day,
and through space heaven knows how fast and far!
- John Muir
The Sweetest Strawberry:
A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger.
He fled, the tiger after him.
Coming to a precipice,
he caught hold of the root of a wild vine
and swung himself over the edge.
The tiger sniffed at him from above.
Trembling, the man looked down to where,
far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him.
Only the vine sustained him.
Two mice, one white and one black,
little by little started to gnaw away the vine.
The man then saw a luscious strawberry near him.
Grasping the vine with one hand,
he plucked the strawberry with the other.
How sweet it tasted.
- Zen Koan
(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale
Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain
"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon
One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide
"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll
The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln
The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.
- Sydney Harris
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen
Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.
- Henry David Thoreau
Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller
Manners require time, and nothing is more vulgar than haste.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill
I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
- Lao Tzu
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx
No good comes from hurrying.
- Yiddish Proverb
There is only one time that is important - NOW!
It is the most important time because
it is the only time that we have any power.
- Leo Tolstoy
The finest workers in stone are not copper or steel tools,
but the gentle touches of air and water
working at their leisure with a liberal allowance of time.
- Henry David Thoreau
Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time
like dew on the tip of a leaf.
- Rabindranath Tagore
The bad news is time flies.
The good news is you're the pilot.
- Michael Althsuler
A time for work, a time for play -
balance in all things.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Once you have mastered time,
you will understand how true it is that
most people overestimate what
they can accomplish in a year -
and underestimate what
they can achieve in a decade!
- Tony Robbins
You will never find time for anything.
If you want time you must make it.
- Charles Buxton
The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Footprints in the sands of time...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Why are you going there?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Who forces time is pushed back by time;
who yields to time finds time on his side.
- The Talmud
Find a time and place of solitude.
Look into the distance, and into the future.
Visualize the tomorrow you are going to build -
and begin to build that tomorrow, today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Regret is an appalling waste of time.
- Katherine Mansfield
When you feel the need to hurry,
remember that everything in life is a CHOICE.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The way lies in softness and patience,
as the softest water cuts through the hardest rock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A man who dares to waste one hour of time
has not discovered the value of life.
- Charles Darwin
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything.
It's the time we spent together that matters,
not how we left it.
- Trey Parker
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.