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Funny Truth Quotes
Funny Quotes about Truth

Let these funny Truth Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
- Lily Tomlin

Truth is stranger than fiction,
but that is because Fiction is obliged
to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
- Mark Twain


 

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde

Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll


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Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
- Mark Twain

Truth is a tendency.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin

The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
- Will Rogers

If you're going to tell people the truth,
be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks

If you are out to describe the truth,
leave elegance to the tailor.
- Albert Einstein

Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.
- Stephanie Klein

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

My way of joking is telling the truth;
that is the funniest joke in the world.
- George Bernard Shaw

The rarest quality in an epitaph is truth.
- Henry David Thoreau

Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer

The water in a vessel is sparkling;
the water in the sea is dark.
The small truth has words which are clear;
the great truth has great silence.
- Rabindranath Tagore

The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing,
and should be treated with caution.
- J. K. Rowling

Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz

The words of truth are always paradoxical.
- Lao Tzu

When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw

A man must be both stupid and uncharitable
who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side.
- Joseph Addison

When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth
you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
- Khalil Gibran

The goal of education is the advancement of knowledge
and the dissemination of truth.
- John F. Kennedy

Every mind must make its choice
between truth and repose.
It cannot have both.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's
most effective criticism until you provoke him.
Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness.
- Henry David Thoreau

We are not afraid to follow truth
wherever it may lead,
nor to tolerate any error
so long as reason is left free to combat it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Our actions are constrained by fear of reprisal,
but our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Truth is absolute, but only to one person.
My truth is absolute to me, and your truth is absolute to you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Intense feeling too often obscures the truth.
- Harry S. Truman

We take refuge in pride,
because we are afraid to tell the truth to ourselves.
- Kakuzo Okakura

Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have nothing new to teach the world.
Truth and Non-violence are as old as the hills.
All I have done is to try experiments
in both on as vast a scale as I could.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

All truth passes through three stages:
First, it is ridiculed;
Second, it is violently opposed;
Third, it is accepted as self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

A day spent without the sight or sound of beauty,
the contemplation of mystery,
or the search of truth or perfection
is a poverty-stricken day; and a succession
of such days is fatal to human life.
- Lewis Mumford

Even if you are a minority of one,
the truth is the truth.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The pursuit of truth does not permit violence on one's opponent.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth.
- Jean Cocteau

All perception of truth
is the detection of an analogy;
we reason from our hands to our head.
- Henry David Thoreau

Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters
cannot be trusted with important matters.
- Albert Einstein

God is, even though the whole world deny him.
Truth stands, even if there be no public support.
It is self-sustained.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Truth has no special time of its own.
Its hour is now - always.
- Albert Schweitzer

Truth is not defined by
how many people believe something.
Ask. Question. Think.
Decide - for yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Truth is handsomer than the affectation of love.
Your goodness must have some edge to it, else it is none.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Love is the ultimate meaning of everything around us.
Love is not a mere sentiment.
Love is the ultimate truth at the heart of creation.
- Rabindranath Tagore

About most subjects, there is not "The Truth;"
there is merely one's personal truth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Believe those who are seeking the truth.
Doubt those who find it.
- Andre Gide

Knowledge rests not upon truth alone, but upon error also.
- Carl Jung

Fiction reveals truth that reality obscures.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Of life's two chief prizes, beauty and truth,
I found the first in a loving heart and the second in a laborer's hand.
- Khalil Gibran

In matters of truth and justice,
there is no difference between large and small problems,
for issues concerning the treatment of people are all the same.
- Albert Einstein

One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth
is rarely a politician's objective.
Election and power are.
- Cal Thomas

I seek a deeper truth, but I don't think I have to
go to a building designated for worship to find it.
- Ted Lange

It is error alone which needs the support of government.
Truth can stand by itself.
- Thomas Jefferson

Fear is not in the habit of speaking truth.
- Publius Cornelius Tacitus

There is one thing even more vital to science than intelligent methods;
and that is,
the sincere desire to find out the truth,
whatever it may be.
- Charles Pierce

God, as Truth, has been for me a treasure beyond price.
May He be so to every one of us.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Non-violence and truth are inseparable and presuppose one another.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Above all, don't lie to yourself.
The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie
comes to a point that he cannot
distinguish the truth within him, or around him,
and so loses all respect for himself and for others.
- Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Like all dreamers, I mistook disenchantment for truth.
- Jean-Paul Sartre

Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact.
Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.
- Marcus Aurelius

All the religions of the world,
while they may differ in other respects,
unitedly proclaim that nothing lives in this world but Truth.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Facts are many, but the truth is one.
- Rabindranath Tagore

The dreamer can know no truth, not even about his dream,
except by awaking out of it.
- George Santayana

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth.
Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
- Dick Clark


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