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Let these funny Token Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The making of friends, who are real friends,
is the best token we have of a man's success in life.
- Edward Everett Hale
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
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Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
Most of what we call management consists of
making it difficult for people to get their work done.
- Peter F. Drucker
Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius
Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The art of acceptance is the art of making someone
who has just done you a small favor
wish that he might have done you a greater one.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light,
but by making the darkness conscious.
- Carl Jung
The secret of making dreams come true
can be summarized in four C's.
They are Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, and Constancy;
and the greatest of these is Confidence.
- Walt Disney
If you fear making anyone mad,
then you ultimately probe for
the lowest common denominator of human achievement.
- Jimmy Carter
There is only one way... to get anybody to do anything.
And that is by making the other person want to do it.
- Dale Carnegie
Love is not a matter of counting the years,
but making the years count.
- Michele St. Amand
In Iroquois society, leaders are encouraged to
remember seven generations in the past and
consider seven generations in the future
when making decisions that affect the people.
- Wilma Mankiller
The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz
The world you see has nothing to do with reality.
It is of your own making and does not exist.
- A Course In Miracles
What are you committed to?
Have you started, or are you still thinking about it -
and making excuses?
Do you work toward your goal each day?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If your home is not a place where you can truly
kick-back and be yourself - both physically and emotionally -
consider making some changes in your way-of-life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You should never be content with so little,
when you can reach out for something big.
- Charles L. Allen
(This quote is about making a big difference
in the world - not about greed)
It is against everything we stand for to take a human life.
Making an exception to that code is a bleak thing.
- Sam, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
Ninety-nine percent of the failures
come from people who have the habit of making excuses.
- George Washington Carver
Well-being is making its way to you at all times.
If you will relax and find a way to allow it,
it will be your experience.
- Abraham (Esther Hicks)
The key to happiness is having dreams.
The key to success is making your dreams come true.
- Anonymous
An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Now we have a problem in making our power credible,
and Vietnam is the place.
- John F. Kennedy
Just smiling goes a long way toward
making you feel better about life.
And when you feel better about life, your life is better.
- Art Linkletter
Inspiration is God making contact with itself.
- Ram Dass
The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.
- Mark Twain
I love you not only for what you are,
but for what I am when I am with you.
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself,
but for what you are making of me.
I love you for that part of me you bring out.
- Roy Croft
If a man walks in the woods for love of them half of each day,
he is in danger of being regarded as a loafer.
But if he spends his days as a speculator,
shearing off those woods and making the earth bald before her time,
he is deemed an industrious and enterprising citizen.
- Henry David Thoreau
I take every opportunity to articulate to others
the ways that they have blessed and influenced me.
I hold sweet memories of making the opportunity
to thank teachers who have influenced me.
I encourage everyone to seize opportunities
to tell people who have made a gift of knowledge or influence.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Consider a parent who says,
"Look at the sacrifices I'm making so you can have a better life."
Contrast that with another parent who demonstrates
living a great life every day.
Self-sacrifice is not a virtue.
Living a great life and sharing that life with others
is the noble way to live.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I love fools' experiments.
I am always making them.
- Charles Darwin
I made no resolutions for the New Year.
The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning
and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.
- Anais Nin
The basic thing nobody asks is
why do people take drugs of any sort?
Why do we have these accessories to normal living to live?
I mean, is there something wrong with society
that's making us so pressurized,
that we cannot live without guarding ourselves against it?
- John Lennon
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years
to have breakfast together,
but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.
- Winston Churchill
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi
The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
Having two bathrooms ruined the capacity to co-operate.
- Margaret Mead
The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick
I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln
Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
Every tomorrow has two handles.
We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety
or the handle of faith.
- Henry Ward Beecher
Understanding is a two-way street.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Sadness is but a wall between two gardens.
- Khalil Gibran
Prejudice is a two-edged sword.
Like the steel sort of sword, it's very sharp, very useful,
and very dangerous if not properly mastered.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated;
you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
- David Lloyd George
Peace and justice are two sides of the same coin.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
There are two lasting bequests we can give our children
One is roots, the other is wings.
- Hodding Carter
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.