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Let these funny Dinner Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Majority rule only works if you're also
considering individual rights,
because you can't have five wolves and one sheep
voting on what to have for dinner.
- Larry Flynt
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
Who made the rule that life has to be so serious?
One would think that "life is serious" had been engraved
upon stone tablets to judge from how most lives are lived.
Get a life, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat - dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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You can't have five wolves and one sheep
voting on what to have for dinner.
- Larry Flynt
Be an Original, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat, dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Learn to do common things uncommonly well;
we must always keep in mind that anything
that helps fill the dinner pail is valuable.
- George Washington Carver
Smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole
for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast
and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat -
dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We all tend to measure our worth by what we DO -
the actions we take.
We also highly value what we SAY.
However, the greatest impact we have
on our family, our friends,
and our world is our kindness and love.
A bowl of soup served with love
is a greater gift than a steak dinner served brusquely.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are all one whether we dine on corned beef in New York City,
black-eyed peas and cornbread in rural Louisiana,
or roast guinea pig in Peru.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I think this is the most extraordinary
collection of talent, of human knowledge,
that has ever been gathered at the White House -
with the possible exception of
when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.
- John F. Kennedy
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin
Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller
If you can't annoy somebody with what you write,
I think there's little point in writing.
- Kingsley Amis
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll
I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy
If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie
To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu
I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank
Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain
I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.
- Albert Einstein
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie
Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt
The function of education is to teach one
to think intensively and to think critically.
Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein
People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller
Think for yourself and question authority.
- Timothy Leary
Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day;
live life to the fullest;
make the most of what you have.
It is later than you think.
- Horace
The most incomprehensible thing about the world
is that it is comprehensible.
- Albert Einstein
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
We should not pretend to understand the world
only by the intellect.
The judgment of the intellect
is only part of the truth.
- Carl Jung
We shall require a substantially
new manner of thinking
if mankind is to survive.
- Albert Einstein
Our brain is the factory of the emotions
- don Miguel Ruiz
Men and women are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
- Albert Einstein
You must do the thing that you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.