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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Real Quotes
Funny Quotes about Real

Let these funny Real Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.
The real miracle is the love that inspires them.
In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
- A Course in Miracles

I'm not a real movie star.
I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
- Will Rogers

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald


 

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children
is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia:
it seemed like a good idea at the time.
- Bill Cosby

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain


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I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

Everyone is a genius at least once a year;
a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg

The Book of Life is a Book of Riddles,
with its Real Lessons Writ Small in the Margins.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only real valuable thing is intuition.
- Albert Einstein

FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real.
- Neale Donald Walsch

Real excellence and humility are
not incompatible one with the other,
on the contrary they are twin sisters.
- Jean Baptiste Lacordaire

FEAR is an acronym in the English language
for "False Evidence Appearing Real."
- Neale Donald Walsch

No real social change has ever been brought about without a revolution...
revolution is but thought carried into action.
- Emma Goldman

The real and lasting victories are those of peace, and not of war.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Money was never a big motivation for me,
except as a way to keep score.
The real excitement is playing the game.
- Donald Trump

The real lessons from the book of life
are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The real ornament of woman is her character, her purity.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort.
- Jane Austen

America did not invent human rights.
In a very real sense, it is the other way around.
Human rights invented America.
- Jimmy Carter

Family trips to Yellowstone and to what are now national parks in Southern Utah,
driving the primitive roads and cars of that day,
were real adventures.
- Paul D. Boyer

Our real problem, then, is not our strength today;
it is rather the vital necessity of action today
to ensure our strength tomorrow.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The real problem is that the way that power is given
out in our society pits us against each other.
- Anita Hill

A real friend is one who walks in
when the rest of the world walks out.
- Walter Winchell

The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men,
but that men will begin to think like computers.
- Sydney J. Harris

True religion is real living;
living with all one's soul,
with all one's goodness and righteousness.
- Albert Einstein

The making of friends, who are real friends,
is the best token we have of a man's success in life.
- Edward Everett Hale

Real love is a permanently self-enlarging experience.
- M. Scott Peck

Real education must ultimately be limited to men who insist on knowing,
the rest is mere sheep-herding.
- Ezra Pound

Real beauty knocks you a little bit off kilter.
- David Byrne

You can always tell a real friend: when you've made
a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.
- Laurence J. Peter

Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
- Confucius

Americans love to fight.
All real Americans love the sting of battle.
- George S. Patton

We tell the real truth of our life
by the stories we repeatedly tell.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Life's real lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.
- Pema Chodron

Even in the Christian religion,
much of its real meaning is hidden by words
that are misleading and symbols that but few understand.
- Ernest Holmes

The only real failure in life is one not learned from.
- Anthony J. D'Angelo

I do not wish to treat friendships daintily,
but with roughest courage.
When they are real, they are
not glass threads or frost-work,
but the solidest thing we know.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If money is your hope for independence,
you will never have it.
The only real security that
a man can have in this world
is a reserve of knowledge,
experience and ability.
- Henry Ford

You grow up the day you have
your first real laugh - at yourself.
- Ethel Barrymore

My vision of a real humanity is of pure individuals
relating to each other, but not tied in any relationship.
They will be loving to each other,
but not being possessive of each other.
They will be sharing with each other
all their joys and all their blessings,
but never even in their dreams thinking of dominating,
thinking of enslaving the other person.
- Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh)

The way people in democracies think of the government
as something different from themselves is a real handicap.
And, of course, sometimes the government confirms their opinion.
- Lewis Mumford

What I cannot love, I overlook.
Is that real friendship?
- Anais Nin

If we are to teach real peace in this world,
and if we are to carry on a real war against war,
we shall have to begin with the children.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

You cannot lose your real treasure.
- Osho

Action is the real measure of intelligence.
- Napoleon Hill

All that is real is seen with the heart.
- Vivian Greene

I kept my babies fed.
I could have dumped them, but I didn't.
I decided that whatever trip I was on,
they were going with me.
You're looking at a real daddy.
- Barry White

Anyone can be passionate, but
it takes real lovers to be silly.
- Rose Franken

The real sin against life is to abuse and destroy beauty,
even one's own even more, one's own,
for that has been put in our care and we are responsible for its well-being.
- Katherine Anne Porter

I'm a real Suzy Homemaker.
- Suzy Bogguss

Poetry is the art of creating imaginary gardens with real toads.
- Marianne Moore

Imagination and fiction make up more than three quarters of our real life.
- Simone Weil

Real love is accepting other people the way they are
without trying to change them.
- don Miguel Ruiz

The beauty one can find in art is one of the pitifully
few real and lasting products of human endeavor.
- Paul Getty

People - not just in their teenage years -
hold on to this fantasy of love when they're not ready
to have a real relationship.
- Keri Russell

Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced.
- John Keats

Daddy was real gentle with kids.
That's why I expected so much out of marriage,
figuring that all men should be steady and pleasant.
- Loretta Lynn

And to get real work experience, you need a job,
and most jobs will require you to have had either real
work experience or a graduate degree.
- Donald Norman

It is easier for a father to have children than for
children to have a real father.
- Pope John XXIII

To achieve, you need thought.
You have to know what you are doing and that's real power.
- Ayn Rand

The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
- B. F. Skinner

Action is the real measure of intelligence.
- Napoleon Hill (author of the classic Think and Grow Rich)

Society is a masked ball,
where every one hides his real character,
and reveals it by hiding.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

What is real is beyond all reach.
- Julian Green

When our thoughts - which bring actions -
are filled with hate against anyone, Negro or white,
we are in a living hell.
That is as real as hell will ever be.
- George Washington Carver

The real us is pure love, pure light
- don Miguel Ruiz

I'm a '70s mom, and my daughter is a '90s mom.
I know a lot of women my age who are real computer freaks.
- Florence Henderson

Smell the smells, feel the fear,
and smile at the incoherent way
life runs us in circles
while inscribing the real lessons
in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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