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Funny Kissing Quotes
Funny Quotes about Kissing

Let these funny Kissing Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl
is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
- Albert Einstein

My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton


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Life is short,
Break the Rules.
Forgive quickly,
Kiss SLOWLY.
Love truly.
Laugh uncontrollably
And never regret
ANYTHING
That makes you smile
- Mark Twain

This is my wish for you:
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life.
- Anonymous

Love begins with a smile,
grows with a kiss,
and ends with a teardrop.
- Anonymous


 

Gather yourself by the sea shore and I will love you there.
Assemble yourself with wild things,
with songs of the sparrow and sea-foam.
Let mad beauty collect itself in your eyes
and it will shine - Calling me.
For I long for a man with nests of wild things in his hair.
A man who will Kiss the Flame.
- Jewel

Today, like every other day, we wake up empty
and frightened. Don't open the door to the study
and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.
- Rumi (Persian poet 1207-1273)

Rock 'n' roll is ridiculous. It's absurd.
In the past, U2 was trying to duck that.
Now we're wrapping our arms around it and giving it a great big kiss.
- Bono

Accept everything about yourself - I mean everything.
You are you and that is the beginning and the end -
no apologies, no regrets.
- Henry Kissinger

A wise girl kisses but doesn't love,
listens but doesn't believe,
and leaves before she is left.
- Marilyn Monroe

For it was not into my ear you whispered,
but into my heart.
It was not my lips you kissed,
but my soul.
- Judy Garland

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin

The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch

When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie

The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty

People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon

As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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