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Let these funny Reproduce Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Beliefs have evolved based on survival value.
Certain belief systems have been more conducive than others
to people living long enough to reproduce,
and having a high rate of reproduction.
It's that basic.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everything deep is also simple
and can be reproduced simply
as long as its reference
to the whole truth is maintained.
But what matters is not what is witty
but what is true.
- Albert Schweitzer
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
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I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
Tip the world over on its side and
everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
The more he became truly wise,
the more he distrusted everything he knew.
- Voltaire
The simple life is everything Vogue isn't.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
- Phyllis Diller
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
Attitude is everything.
- Charles Swindoll
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous
The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell [attributed]
(Commissioner, US Patent Office, in 1899)
Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
- Lao Tzu
Everything has beauty,
but not everyone sees it.
- Confucius
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
When I see Spirit in everything, Peace is at hand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.
The real miracle is the love that inspires them.
In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
- A Course in Miracles
Everything is a miracle,
not just the beautiful and lovely things.
- Anonymous
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
For everything I observe or experience,
I create a story - not sometimes, but always.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Feeling overwhelmed by apparent demands on our time
is like going to a restaurant,
ordering everything on the menu,
and complaining about indigestion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In three words, I can sum up everything
I've learned about life - it goes on.
- Robert Frost
There is nothing more depressing,
than having everything,
and still feeling sad.
- Janet Jackson
Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
It is easy enough to be pleasant
When life flows by like a song,
But the man worth while is the one who will smile
When everything goes dead wrong.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
Presence requires an internal alertness
to the all and everything surrounding us.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
I Am One With Spirit and All Creation -
I give thanks for the unity of all creation
and for everything that has brought me to this moment.
I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world,
and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
- Norman Vincent Peale
So divinely is the world organized that every one of us,
in our place and time, is in balance with everything else.
- Adam Acone
Everything you say and do,
is a reflection of the inner you.
- Anonymous
Imagination decides everything.
- Blaise Pascal
Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel
Everything that irritates us about others
can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
- Carl Jung
Everything we say, do, think, and feel
is a product of our personal history
and the collective history of humankind.
Our name for these histories is "prejudice."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When you expect nothing, you can
receive everything as a marvelous gift.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
SPIRIT is the name we give to
the entirety of everything we can perceive
plus the entirety of everything
that is beyond our perception.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart.
- Anne Frank
Always aim at complete harmony
of thought and word and deed.
Always aim at purifying your thoughts
and everything will be well.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Everything popular is wrong.
- Oscar Wilde
Most everything in life is about our
point-of-view rather than any absolute.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love is an undulating energy that moves through you,
within you, and radiates out of you,
and changes everything.
- Bartholomew
Imagination is everything.
It is the preview of life's coming attractions.
- Albert Einstein
Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
As long as a man stands in his own way,
everything seems to be in his way.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.
Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever,
even if your whole world seems upset.
- Saint Francis de Sales
Integrity is the essence of everything successful.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
For everything you have missed,
you have gained something else,
and for everything you gain,
you lose something else.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Everything is not as it appears to be.
- Proverb
Ah, not everything is as seems...
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right,
you'll probably never do much of anything.
- Win Borden
Providence has its appointed hour for everything.
We cannot command results, we can only strive.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
- Albert Einstein
Look deep into nature, and then
you will understand everything better.
- Albert Einstein
Each of us is burdened by an unlimited number of
expectations (demands) that we hold for the actions of others.
We "know" that there is a right way to do things,
and are often outraged when our expectations are not met.
Usually, we are unaware that we merely
have a strong opinion and point-of-view,
and are sure that we know how everything is supposed to be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I forgive everyone for everything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.