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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Having Quotes
Funny Quotes about Having

Let these funny Having Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I am not the same having seen the moon shine
on the other side of the world.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
- Ogden Nash

Having two bathrooms ruined the capacity to co-operate.
- Margaret Mead


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Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody
who shall make us do what we can.
Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little


 

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
- Anonymous

Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal

Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo

If we like what we do, if we always do our best,
then we are really enjoying life.
We are having fun, we don't get bored,
we don't have frustrations.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One of the advantages of being disorganized is that
one is always having surprising discoveries.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Lives based on having are less free
than lives based on doing or being.
- E.Y. Harburg

There is nothing more depressing,
than having everything,
and still feeling sad.
- Janet Jackson

The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.
- Helen Keller

Our unhappiness is triggered by either
having less than yesterday,
or having less than our neighbor.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All unhappiness comes from either
having less than yesterday,
or from having less than one's neighbor.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Freedom is not worth having if it
does not connote freedom to err.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more.
If you concentrate on what you don't have,
you will never, ever have enough.
- Oprah Winfrey

Hate and force cannot be in just a part of the world
without having an effect on the rest of it.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Many important things shouldn't be done half-way.
Think of getting married, having children,
starting a business, changing your career.
There are times to gather your courage
and make the leap, the whole leap.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Wealth consists not in having great possessions,
but in having few wants.
- Epictetus

Loving, hating, having expectations:
all these are attachments.
Attachment prevents the growth of one's true being.
- Lao Tzu

On the ordinary view of each species
having been independently created,
we gain no scientific explanation.
- Charles Darwin

A great part of courage is the courage
of having done the thing before.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

By having a reverence for life,
we enter into a spiritual relation with the world.
By practicing reverence for life we become good, deep, and alive.
- Albert Schweitzer

Even the rich are hungry for love,
for being cared for, for being wanted,
for having someone to call their own.
- Mother Teresa

The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes
but in having new eyes.
- Marcel Proust

If the United States of America or Britain is having elections,
they don't ask for observers from Africa or from Asia.
But when we have elections, they want observers.
- Nelson Mandela

One of the oldest human needs is having someone
to wonder where you are when you don't come home at night.
- Margaret Mead

Having set a direction, begin - begin today.
Take action - take action every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I forgive myself completely for having created stories of suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We never repent of having eaten too little.
- Thomas Jefferson

The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal.
The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.
- Benjamin E. Mays

The key to happiness is having dreams.
The key to success is making your dreams come true.
- Anonymous

Rights that do not flow from duty
well performed are not worth having.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I'm having a bad day. I am not size six.
My legs are not skinny as sticks,
and dammit, someone's got to pay.
I'm afraid that I can't satisfy myself
and that my happiness depends on someone else.
I feel weak, so you're gonna take the fall.
You're so shallow.
- Jewel

Only put off until tomorrow
what you are willing to die having left undone.
- Pablo Picasso

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience.
We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
- Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Self-care is critical to having a strong inner foundation.
Taking good care of YOU means the people in your life
will receive the best of you rather than what is left of you.
- Lorraine Cohen

Falling in love and having a relationship
are two different things.
- Keanu Reeves

Be clear that expectations are demands.
Demanding that life turn out the way we prefer
is a sure path to disappointment and suffering.
Happiness lies in having no expectations,
and accepting life as it comes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If an opinion contrary to your own makes you angry,
that is a sign that you are subconsciously aware
of having no good reason for thinking as you do.
- Bertrand Russell

The sage does not hoard.
The more he helps others, the more he benefits himself,
Having bestowed all he has on others, he has yet more;
having given all he has to others, he is richer still.
- Lao Tzu

Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort
of feeling safe with a person;
having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words,
but to pour them all out, just as they are,
chaff and grain together,
knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them,
keep what is worth keeping, and then,
with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.
- George Eliot

For me, one of the greatest things about living in the United States
is that we have a national holiday - Thanksgiving Day -
dedicated to honoring gratitude.
Having gratitude is one of the keys to a happy life.
Let every day be a day of profound thanksgiving.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Beliefs have evolved based on survival value.
Certain belief systems have been more conducive than others
to people living long enough to reproduce,
and having a high rate of reproduction.
It's that basic.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The experience of democracy is like
the experience of life itself -
always changing, infinite in its variety,
sometimes turbulent
and all the more valuable
for having been tested by adversity.
- Jimmy Carter

Everything that is worthwhile in life is scary.
Choosing a school, choosing a career,
getting married, having kids -
all those things are scary.
If it is not fearful, it is not worthwhile.
- Paul Tornier

Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking.
There is an almost universal quest
for easy answers and half-baked solutions.
Nothing pains some people more than having to think.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

It is my desire, in the office of a Christian minister,
to do nothing which I cannot do with my whole heart.
Having said this, I have said all.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Having seen the devastation of war first hand,
Eisenhower came both to despise war
and to see that "war settles nothing."
On the other hand, Ike was certainly no peacenik.
He understood that, in an emergency,
action must be met with reaction.
When truly necessary, violence met with violence -
but never hate responded to with hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I forgive myself completely
for having created stories of suffering.
I forgive myself for all
my angers, resentments, jealousies,
and all the other emotions of suffering.
I have unbounded compassion for myself
at all times and under all circumstances.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"Being practical" is the antithesis of having faith and love.
"Being practical" is an expression of fear.
When you live from love and faith, you will be compassionate,
confident, and loving -- and no longer feel the need to "be practical."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Visualize your end result as having already been accomplished.
Let the image of your success play on the giant screen
in full color with surround sound -
so real you can smell and taste it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Any people anywhere, being inclined and having the power,
have the right to rise up, and shake off the existing government,
and form a new one that suits them better.
This is a most valuable - a most sacred right -
a right, which we hope and believe, is to liberate the world.
- Abraham Lincoln

I wanted to be a doctor that I might be able to work
without having to talk
because for years I had been giving myself out in words.
- Albert Schweitzer

In my case, Pilgrim's Progress consisted
in my having to climb down a thousand ladders
until I could reach out my hand
to the little clod of earth that I am.
- Carl Jung

One cannot have wisdom without perspective,
but once gaining perspective, one attains wisdom.
Wisdom is the ability to view every situation
as each person who is in any way affected
by that situation might view it.
Wisdom benefits from having a knowledge of history,
and therefore a historical perspective,
as well from as having the perspective of imagination -
the realm of the what-might-be
inhabited by futurists and science-fiction writers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happiness is a figment of the imagination.
Imagine happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happiness depends upon ourselves.
- Aristotle

Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This is your day to Laugh at Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness.
- Zhuangzi

Happiness is a choice.
- Anonymous

Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar

Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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