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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Long Quotes
Funny Quotes about Long

Let these funny Long Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

Serious illness doesn't bother me for long
because I am too inhospitable a host.
- Albert Schweitzer

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
- Fred Allen

I have six locks on my door all in a row.
When I go out, I lock every other one.
I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks,
they are always locking three.
- Elayne Boosler


 

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as
you're insightful about it.
- Dennis Miller

I'd never been in play long enough for the flowers
to die in the dressing room.
- Mercedes McCambridge

The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.
- Jacqueline Schiff


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Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln

I am proud to be an American.
Because an American can eat anything on the face of
this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
- Bill Cosby

I don't care what anybody says about me
as long as it isn't true.
- Truman Capote

Immortality is a long shot, I admit.
But somebody has to be first.
- Bill Cosby

"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."
"And he has Brain."
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain."
There was a long silence.
"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

In order to discover new lands,
one must be willing to lose sight
of the shore for a very long time.
- Anonymous

The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon,
but that we wait so long to begin it.
- Anonymous

We are not afraid to follow truth
wherever it may lead,
nor to tolerate any error
so long as reason is left free to combat it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Nobody, as long as he moves about
among the chaotic currents of life,
is without trouble.
- Carl Jung

It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person
to reconcile himself to the idea that
after all God will not help him
- H. L. Mencken

Avoiding danger is no safer
in the long run than outright exposure.
he fearful are caught as often as the bold.
- Helen Keller

Every good relationship, especially marriage, is based on respect.
If it's not based on respect,
nothing that appears to be good will last very long.
- Amy Grant

In the long history of humankind (and animal-kind, too)
those who learned to collaborate and
improvise most effectively have prevailed.
- Charles Darwin

If I had no sense of humor,
I would long ago have committed suicide.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

Relax. Take a day off.
Go for a long silent walk in the woods.
The world will still be there tomorrow -
as good and as bad as ever.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It doesn't matter how long my hair is
or what color my skin is
or whether I'm a woman or a man.
- John Lennon

I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble.
- Helen Keller

It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words
but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

In the long run, men hit only what they aim at.
Therefore, they had better aim at something high.
- Henry David Thoreau

Time stays long enough for anyone who will use it.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone
planted a tree a long time ago.
- Les Brown

Terrorism takes us back to ages we thought were long
gone if we allow it a free hand to corrupt democratic
societies and destroy the basic rules of international life.
- Jacques Chirac

So long as you have food in your mouth,
you have solved all questions for the time being.
- Franz Kafka

Power acquired by violence is only a usurpation,
and lasts only as long as the force of him who commands
prevails over that of those who obey.
- Denis Diderot

For my confirmation, I didn't get a watch and my first pair of long pants,
like most Lutheran boys.
I got a telescope.
My mother thought it would make the best gift.
- Wernher von Braun

Clocks slay time...
time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels;
only when the clock stops does time come to life.
- William Faulkner

As long as one keeps searching, the answers come.
- Joan Baez

Brief is life but love is long.
- Alfred Lord Tennyson

Not everything that casts a long shadow is to be feared.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every man casts a shadow;
not his body only, but his imperfectly mingled spirit.
This is his grief. Let him turn which way he will,
it falls opposite to the sun;
short at noon, long at eve. Did you never see it?
- Henry David Thoreau

In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves.
The process never ends until we die.
And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The health of the eye seems to demand a horizon.
We are never tired, so long as we can see far enough.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It takes a long time to become young.
- Pablo Picasso

Part of our essential humanity is paying respect to what God gave us
and what will be here a long time after we're gone.
- William J. Clinton

Age is not a particularly interesting subject.
Anyone can get old.
All you have to do is live long enough.
- Don Marquis

So long as we have enough people in this country willing
to fight for their rights,
we'll be called a democracy.
- Roger Nash Baldwin

It takes discipline and compassion
to awaken the divine in ourselves long enough
to recognize the divine in another.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Millions long for immortality who don't know what to
do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
- Susan Ertz

Nature puts no question and answers none which we mortals ask.
She has long ago taken her resolution.
- Henry David Thoreau

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
- John Leonard

Everybody gets so much information all day long that
they lose their common sense.
- Gertrude Stein

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there,
wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal
ever dared to dream before.
- Edgar Allan Poe

Everything deep is also simple
and can be reproduced simply
as long as its reference
to the whole truth is maintained.
But what matters is not what is witty
but what is true.
- Albert Schweitzer

Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror,
victory however long and hard the road may be;
for without victory, there is no survival.
- Winston Churchill

It's been a long road back to health and fitness for me.
I am just glad to have been given the opportunity to do what I love most.
- Jonah Lomu

Dreams will get you nowhere, a good kick in the pants
will take you a long way.
- Baltasar Gracian

The cost of a thing is the amount
of what I will call life
which is required to be exchanged for it,
immediately or in the long run.
- Henry David Thoreau

Fame will go by and, so long, I've had you,
fame.
If it goes by, I've always known it was fickle.
So at least it's something I experience,
but that's not where I live.
- Marilyn Monroe

He hits it long.
His shoulders are impressively quick through the ball.
That's where he's getting his power from.
He's young and has great elasticity.
- Nick Faldo

No poems can please for long or live that are written by water drinkers.
- Horace

Politics, it seems to me, for years,
or all too long,
has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong.
- Richard Armour

I'm afraid that if you look at a thing long enough,
it loses all of its meaning.
- Andy Warhol

For myself I hold no preferences among flowers,
so long as they are wild, free, spontaneous.
Bricks to all greenhouses!
Black thumb and cutworm to the potted plant!
- Edward Abbey

One movement toward light becomes a clear signpost on a long road.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Designs of purely arbitrary nature cannot be expected to last long.
- Kenzo Tange

I have long believed that sacrifice is the pinnacle of patriotism.
- Bob Riley

I have long believed taxpayers make better use of their
money than the government ever could.
- Kay Bailey Hutchison

So long as we are loved by others,
I would almost say that we are indispensable;
and no man is useless while he has a friend.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.
- Kin Hubbard

He hits the ball a long way and he knows how to win.
- Gary McCord

On long haul flights I always drink loads and loads
of water and eat light and healthy food.
- Lisa Snowdon

Make your important choices in life
based on your values and your long-term objectives
rather than on a need for approval.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A man is what he thinks about all day long.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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