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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Long Quotes
Funny Quotes about Long

Let these funny Long Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

Serious illness doesn't bother me for long
because I am too inhospitable a host.
- Albert Schweitzer

Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln

I don't care what anybody says about me
as long as it isn't true.
- Truman Capote


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The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.
- Jacqueline Schiff

"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."
"And he has Brain."
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain."
There was a long silence.
"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon,
but that we wait so long to begin it.
- Anonymous


 

If I had no sense of humor,
I would long ago have committed suicide.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

Avoiding danger is no safer
in the long run than outright exposure.
The fearful are caught as often as the bold.
- Helen Keller

It doesn't matter how long my hair is
or what color my skin is
or whether I'm a woman or a man.
- John Lennon

Relax. Take a day off.
Go for a long silent walk in the woods.
The world will still be there tomorrow -
as good and as bad as ever.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In the long history of humankind (and animal-kind, too)
those who learned to collaborate and
improvise most effectively have prevailed.
- Charles Darwin

Every good relationship, especially marriage, is based on respect.
If it's not based on respect,
nothing that appears to be good will last very long.
- Amy Grant

In order to discover new lands,
one must be willing to lose sight
of the shore for a very long time.
- Anonymous

I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble.
- Helen Keller

We are not afraid to follow truth
wherever it may lead,
nor to tolerate any error
so long as reason is left free to combat it.
- Thomas Jefferson

It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person
to reconcile himself to the idea that
after all God will not help him
- H. L. Mencken

Nobody, as long as he moves about
among the chaotic currents of life,
is without trouble.
- Carl Jung

It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words
but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Part of our essential humanity is paying respect to what God gave us
and what will be here a long time after we're gone.
- William J. Clinton

In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves.
The process never ends until we die.
And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

How you think when you lose
determines how long it will be until you win.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

As long as a man stands in his own way,
everything seems to be in his way.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Give me a lever long enough
and a fulcrum on which to place it,
and I shall move the world.
- Archimedes

So long as we are loved by others,
I would almost say that we are indispensable;
and no man is useless while he has a friend.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

Nature puts no question and answers none which we mortals ask.
She has long ago taken her resolution.
- Henry David Thoreau

My biggest dream is that my words will inspire heart,
hope and personal responsibility in people around the globe
long after my feet in these shoes aren't walking the planet.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Security is mostly a superstition.
It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer
in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
- Helen Keller

Make your important choices in life
based on your values and your long-term objectives
rather than on a need for approval.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are risks and costs to action.
But they are far less than the long range
risks of comfortable inaction.
- John F. Kennedy

The cost of a thing is the amount
of what I will call life
which is required to be exchanged for it,
immediately or in the long run.
- Henry David Thoreau

So long as the memory of certain
beloved friends lives in my heart,
I shall say that life is good.
- Helen Keller

Brief is life but love is long.
- Alfred Lord Tennyson

Time stays long enough for anyone who will use it.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror,
victory however long and hard the road may be;
for without victory, there is no survival.
- Winston Churchill

It takes discipline and compassion
to awaken the divine in ourselves long enough
to recognize the divine in another.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Take a long walk alone in the woods -
leave the cellphone and music player at home.
Your whole BEing will appreciate it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart for so long.
If we're in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Not everything that casts a long shadow is to be feared.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We can do anything we want to
if we stick to it long enough.
- Helen Keller

Today is the right day to do
what you have long wanted to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

For once you have tasted flight
you will walk the earth
with your eyes turned skywards,
for there you have been
and there you will long to return.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Millions long for immortality
who don't know what to do on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
- Susan Ertz

A man is what he thinks about all day long.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs
when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing,
because it can disappear for a long time,
and then pop back up when you least expect it.
- Lemony Snicket

Life is not about perfection -
or a quest for perfection.
Life is about enjoying what we have -
for as long as we have it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

So long as you have courage and a sense of humor,
it is never too late to start life afresh.
- Freeman Dyson

Every man casts a shadow;
not his body only, but his imperfectly mingled spirit.
This is his grief. Let him turn which way he will,
it falls opposite to the sun;
short at noon, long at eve. Did you never see it?
- Henry David Thoreau

In the long run, men hit only what they aim at.
Therefore, they had better aim at something high.
- Henry David Thoreau

Don't take rejection personally.
Don't let someone else's bad day spoil your day.
As long as you never reject yourself, you'll be fine.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Three things cannot be long hidden:
the sun, the moon, and the truth.
- The Buddha

Everything deep is also simple
and can be reproduced simply
as long as its reference
to the whole truth is maintained.
But what matters is not what is witty
but what is true.
- Albert Schweitzer

Life is a long lesson in humility.
- James M. Barrie

As long as one keeps searching, the answers come.
- Joan Baez

History does not long entrust the care of freedom
to the weak or the timid.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The battle for the individual rights of women is one of long standing
and none of us should countenance anything which undermines it.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Stop wishing and fearing the future
long enough to be fully present in TODAY.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Just smiling goes a long way toward
making you feel better about life.
And when you feel better about life, your life is better.
- Art Linkletter

As long as any adult thinks that he,
like the parents and teachers of old,
can become introspective,
invoking his own youth to understand
the youth before him,
he is lost.
- Margaret Mead

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
- John Leonard

The health of the eye seems to demand a horizon.
We are never tired, so long as we can see far enough.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It had long since come to my attention
that people of accomplishment
rarely sat back and let things happen to them.
They went out and happened to things.
- Leonardo da Vinci

One movement toward light becomes a clear signpost on a long road.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

My reaction to porno films is as follows; After the first ten minutes,
I want to go home and screw; After the first twenty minutes,
I never want to screw again as long as I live
- Erica Jong

When one door closes, another opens.
But often we look so long, so regretfully,
upon the closed door,
that we fail to see the one that is opened for us.
- Helen Keller

In the long history of the world,
only a few generations have been granted the role
of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger.
I do not shrink from this responsibility - I welcome it.
- John F. Kennedy

I like to believe that people in the long run
are going to do more to promote peace than our governments.
Indeed, I think that people want peace so much
that one of these days, governments had better
get out of the way and let them have it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Pick up a stone that feels good to you
and is small enough to hold in one hand.
Consider how long that stone has been around
and what enormous pressure it has experienced.
Draw strength from its long history.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

It is very important to generate a good attitude,
a good heart, as much as possible.
From this, happiness in both the short term and the long term
for both yourself and others will come.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Only good comes from being honest and true.
Only harm and suffering come from falsehood.
It doesn't always feel as if good comes from truth and honesty,
but, in the long run, it does.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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